Throw away adult jokes

"Look how drunk that girl is over there,"
I said to a guy standing at the bar last night,
"I bet she's a right dirty slag."
"That's my sister," he replied,
"I strongly suggest that you take it back."
I said, "Alright, fetch me her coat."


I was wondering what it would be like to have sex with a Chinese woman.
So, last night, as I was having sex with my wife, I stuck a lemon in her mouth.


A woman has just come up to me holding an unlit fag.
She said, "Have you got a light cock?"
I replied, "Well it floats in the bath!"


My old man goes to the Alzheimer's Society meetings every month, but missed it this time around.

They forgot to send out the reminders.


"Somewhere inside of me is a skinny girl trying to get out." exclaimed my missus last night.
"Oh yeah," I said, "Did you fucking eat her?"


We've got a stunning blonde, who started at our office and I heard rumours that she wanted to give me one.
Unfortunately, it was out of ten.

knock knock

You can come in.

Who there?

Who's there?

Also: A vacationing penguin is driving his through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

Yes?

You scared him.

Don't worry guys, me and yuri are niggas so I got dis



Who's there?

Since Josh is sucking a cock at king's crossing i add to this.



OP

Well aren't you a special little snowflake?

Is this a challenge?

A man walked into a bar.

Ouch.

You mean this ?

Hah, love it

[size=10]Terminator II was a pretty good film[/h]

OP who?

OP the underage faggot.

That perception and generalization isn't exactly mature you know...

you gave me crabs :D

Are you going to play it off as joke, or will you stand by that statement?

You're a great example of that.