Hello, my name is Jack. My username has a bit of a story behind it.
One day, about 9 years ago, I just started high school. It was my first week of school, but being the kind of person I was, I already had enemies from my class. They decided one day to shove my face into the toilet when I was using the stalls, and told me to eat shit.
So, I took a bite of my own shit, and spat it in their face. Their frozen, horrified expression was fucking priceless, and the bastard ran away screaming.
Of course, I got expelled for that, but whatever, it was worth it.