2007 Darwin Awards
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Tsujoi
Social Media Manager
Hope none of my fellow Fakkers end up on this list.
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2007.html
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(19 April 2007, Phnom Penh, Cambodia) Unwanted amorous advaces on a heifer resulted in a man's death at the hooves of the violated bovine. Sounds of a scuffle culminated in the discovery of his naked body lying beneath the frightened family cow. Injuries to his head and genital area were consistent with being kicked to death.
Why did he do it?
The man's divorce had become final a mere 10 days prior to his fateful final fling. In the divorce, and also a previous divorce, his ex-wives cited his insatiable desire as the cause of the dissolution.
Police concluded that the man died in a rape gone wrong. They do not plan to take action against the cow, which appeared to have been acting in self-defense.
Why did he do it?
The man's divorce had become final a mere 10 days prior to his fateful final fling. In the divorce, and also a previous divorce, his ex-wives cited his insatiable desire as the cause of the dissolution.
Police concluded that the man died in a rape gone wrong. They do not plan to take action against the cow, which appeared to have been acting in self-defense.
Poor guy.
Death by Rape from Cow
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My all time favourite is still the two guys in Scotland trying to prove how manly they were. They started by smacking themselves with frozen turnips and shit and it eventually escalated to one guy chopping his own foot off with a chainsaw. Not to be outdone, the other guy grabbed the chain saw and cut off his own head. I guess he was the tougher of the two.
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(10 January 2007, East Germany) A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a victory for the mole. The man pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.
Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
(24 June 2007, Colorado) If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on an oil tank, be careful not to light a cigarette or bong of weed, else you may soon be climbing the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven".
After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, the teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank.
Mostly empty...
"There were several ignitions sources," according to the sheriff. Teenagers were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and an ignition source sparked a "flashdance" as the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two teens 150 yards to their deaths.
The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.
After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at a popular party spot in Routt National Forest, the teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank.
Mostly empty...
"There were several ignitions sources," according to the sheriff. Teenagers were smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. The energetic gyrations of the dancers caused fumes to leak from the relief valve, and an ignition source sparked a "flashdance" as the crude oil storage tank exploded, hurling two teens 150 yards to their deaths.
The deceased were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.
(9 December 2007, Indiana) Russell, 19, had a grudge against a semi truck abandoned on a rural property. And Russell was not the silent, brooding type. He was a man of action. He built a gunpowder/propane tank bomb, attached a timer, and planted it in the moldering truck. He retreated to a distant vantage point and waited for the fireworks.
And waited.
And waited, until he could wait no more. No boom? This was not right. Why was nothing happening? Russell approached the stubbornly intact truck--just in time for a close look at a cloud of rapidly expanding incandescent gas. Apparently the truck had a grudge against Russell, too.
Detectives found bomb-making materials at Russell's mobile home, and believe he was responsible for two explosions the night before his death, one at the mobile home park and another at a hobby shop. Although Russell will be missed, we are all a bit safer now.
And waited.
And waited, until he could wait no more. No boom? This was not right. Why was nothing happening? Russell approached the stubbornly intact truck--just in time for a close look at a cloud of rapidly expanding incandescent gas. Apparently the truck had a grudge against Russell, too.
Detectives found bomb-making materials at Russell's mobile home, and believe he was responsible for two explosions the night before his death, one at the mobile home park and another at a hobby shop. Although Russell will be missed, we are all a bit safer now.
