I hate sasuke!
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Kaimax
Best Master-San
I think that we were talking about hating Sasuke, don't bad-mouth other characters here, please bad-mouth others in different threads.
I HATE SASUKE 100%
I HATE SASUKE 100%
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kaimax wrote...
I think that we were talking about hating Sasuke, don't bad-mouth other characters here, please bad-mouth others in different threads.As long as they talk crap about Sasuke, it's relevant. I could say:
"Sasuke is a piece of shit emo dickwad. I fucking hate asparagus. It's nasty, green, and looks like a fucking Afro Disco mannequin. And everything you cook with it tastes like crap."
And that would still be relevant. Posts consist of relevance, opinions, and facts.
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I found this a few hours ago while looking for a new fanfic to read and thought of this thread almost immediately. Here's an excerpt from a fic called "Chunin Exam Day" by Perfect Lionheart. It's like Groundhog Day with Naruto replaying the Chunin Exam arc over and over until he passes and stops Orochimaru's invasion. But watching Sasuke and Sakura get killed several dozen times in the forest of death has interesting effects on Naruto's psyche, so you have some rather amusing scenes pop up every now and then. Like this:
"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!!" Naruto cried out through his microphone to a stadium audience consisting of thousands of exact copies of him, some female, all cheering and stomping on the bleachers he'd also created around the glade in the forest where Sasuke and Gaara were about to fight. "And Welcome to tonight's Celebrity Death Match!!"
The clones roared their approval, drowning out all other noise.
"In this corner," he waved to the Sand siblings, who were all looking more than slightly alarmed at suddenly being surrounded by approximately four thousand shadow clones, stadium seats that had all appeared mysteriously out of nowhere. "Gaara of the Desert!!"
A surge of cheers came from the crowd.
"And in this corner," he waved back to his own team, where Sasuke was looking utterly disgusted with him. "The Amazing! The Stupendous! The Colossal!..." He bent over to speak to another one of his clones, this one is a stage manager's uniform. "Hey, what do you mean Orochimaru's not going to show? Use the substitute? That Uchiha kid? No way! He'd never last ten seconds against that guy from Sand. I mean we're talking Gaara here! The undefeated village champion! Slayer of thousands, winner of over a hundred private assassination matches. The Uchiha hasn't even killed a bug! It'd be a total slaughter to send him in against that trained killer! Do it anyway? Well, okay, but you've gotta switch all my bets around - everything on Gaara to win! Okay!" He turned back to the studio audience, finished with his 'private' conversation that everyone had heard. "Now where were we? Oh, yes! Now, representing Konoha! The one, the only, the Amazing Walking Ego, the Pretty Princess, and darling of Fire country's pedophilic circle, The Dweebmeister!!"
Equally loud boos and jeers from the clones met this pronouncement.
"Man, that's harsh," Kiba whispered to the rest of Team 10 where they had hidden out in the forest, drawn by the noise.
"Gaara! Gaara! He's our man! He can't do it, no one can!!" Shouted a entire line of buxom cheerleader Narukos, bouncing around shaking pompoms.
Sasuke was grinding the knuckles of his fingers together. He was going to kill him. The dope was going to die! How DARE he mock him like this before an important fight?!!
"The winner of tonight's fight," Naruto announced. "Goes on to the finals for a chance to gain the coveted chunin grade!"
A roar of approval from the audience Narutos.
"And to the loser," he continued, once the volume had died down to a more bearable level, "a consolation prize. The fact that they will no longer have to put up with Sakura's whining, seeing as how they will be mercifully dead."
"He didn't just say that, did he?" Ino muttered in shocked awe, where her own team were hiding out in the woods overlooking this.
"Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjacks," Naruto clones dressed up as snack vendors were going up and down the aisles - and visiting all of the dozens of concealed teams hidden in the surrounding woods.
Choji bought a raft of snacks while he had the chance, causing Ino to drop her face into her hands in disgust.
"I'm sorry, miss," one of the vendor clones informed Anko, where she was also overlooking this, having heard the noise. "But I'm going to have to see some ID. You don't look over 18 to me."
Seeing it was nothing serious, she'd stopped a vendor to ask about some sake. Pulling a wallet out of who-knows-where, she flashed him her nin-ID card, and collected her bottle.
"And they're off!" The announcer Naruto shouted out suddenly. "The Uchiha leads with a glare to the left! A sneer to the right! Oh! It's brutal! But Gaara is staying calm in the face of this fierce disapproval!"
That was it. Sasuke decided. The dope was going to die! There was nothing that was going to save him from his wrath after he got through with this!
He'd live long enough to get the team to the tower, so that he wouldn't be disqualified and lose his own chances, but after that!
"And it's that patented Sasuke Scowl! You're seeing it yourself folks! A move that he's been practicing for the last half dozen years is now seeing its first appearance in a real death match! But Gaara seems unfazed by the blow!"
Slow and painful. Sasuke decided. It was going to be slow and painful.
"He feints with a pout! What will it be next, folks? Oh! I can't believe it! It's the dreaded eye twitch! Can it be that Gaara has gotten through to his ego already? Impossible! There's no creature on Earth more arrogant than an Uchiha! He can't be giving up yet, folks!"
"I can't believe that Sasuke hasn't already killed Naruto for this!" Ino said between mouthfuls of popcorn with extra butter.
"He would have if he could tell which was the real one." Nara sighed, reclining beside her with a bag full of peanuts. "So troublesome."
"And it's back to the scowl, folks! I haven't seen action this intense since Sasuke nearly killed himself out of sheer terror and hopelessness at his own weak and useless condition on facing his first real opponent on a C-rank mission!" Announcer Naruto shouted enthusiastically into his microphone.
"Did that really happen?" Kiba turned to Hinata who nodded, having heard the story through the kunoichi grapevine. Although the version the fangirls told was more sympathetic than that one.
The dog user enjoyed a laugh at that information.
"Oh! We've got a lip curl! The Uchiha is really pulling out the stops here, ladies and gentlemen! I wonder how Gaara of the Sands can stand it!"
Gaara of the Sands was actually enjoying himself immensely. He couldn't quite remember what approval felt like, but now he had a whole stadium audience pouring it off onto him.
And he liked it, even if they were all thousands of the same boy giving it.
"And the Uchiha takes it up to the next level by slipping into his 'I'm an angry pretty boy' stance that makes him so popular with disgusting old men and brainless fangirls!"
"Hey!" Ino cried out, still safely back in the woodlands. She'd always thought Sasuke looked cute like that!
Nara stifled a snort before he could break out laughing and offend Ino, who'd clobber him for it.
Off in his part of the woods, Kiba felt no need for any such restraint and howled openly, clutching his gut it as hurt from so much laughter.
Hinata was busy eating her footlong sausage on a bun, covered in mustard and relish, that a vendor Naruto had given her "Compliments of the house." With a silent glance to ask approval, Shino helped himself to one of the sodas out of the six pack by her side.
The energy of the sugar in the soda water would help aid his bugs if it came to a conflict.
Anko had spilled her sake, roaring with unexpected laughter as the arrogant little prick got taken down a peg, by his own teammate no less! Wiping her mouth off on her sleeve, she signaled a vendor for another round.
"Yes!" the announcer went on. "The Uchiha has slipped into his 'Feeling sorry for myself!' defense! There's nothing that Gaara can do to hurt his feelings now, folks! The Uchiha has preempted all attempts to make him feel bad by already inflicting misery on himself! This never fails to get the fangirls falling all over him! It's going to be over soon, now, ladies and gentlemen! And... YES! Gaara makes a move, instantly crushing Sasuke to death using the sand The Uchiha had been ignoring pooling up at his feet all along! It just goes to show, folks, that you should never play 'hurt feelings' in a real fight! He will have to be satisfied with our consolation prize. And our winner is GAARA!!!!"
The clones went nuts in their cheering and applause. Several teams of female Naruto cheerleaders bounced around excitedly spelling out Gaara's name letter by letter while leaping and cavorting about waving pompoms.
The after game wrap up show was almost as much of a spectacle as the actual match, with thousands of Narutos marching around on parade. They even had a brass band!
Kakashi, when he found out, went so far beyond upset that angry didn't even begin to cover it. It was as though they'd done it to him instead of Sasuke.
The amazing copycat ninja got so intensely mad he actually pulled out his Thousand Birds assassination technique in front of the Hokage, and Naruto almost got it between the eyes.
No, he got it to the chest instead, and Naruto got the unpleasant knowledge that he could actually live through having his chest blown open by Kakashi's 'one hit kill' technique.
Still, the reset put everything back to normal, as usual.
The clones roared their approval, drowning out all other noise.
"In this corner," he waved to the Sand siblings, who were all looking more than slightly alarmed at suddenly being surrounded by approximately four thousand shadow clones, stadium seats that had all appeared mysteriously out of nowhere. "Gaara of the Desert!!"
A surge of cheers came from the crowd.
"And in this corner," he waved back to his own team, where Sasuke was looking utterly disgusted with him. "The Amazing! The Stupendous! The Colossal!..." He bent over to speak to another one of his clones, this one is a stage manager's uniform. "Hey, what do you mean Orochimaru's not going to show? Use the substitute? That Uchiha kid? No way! He'd never last ten seconds against that guy from Sand. I mean we're talking Gaara here! The undefeated village champion! Slayer of thousands, winner of over a hundred private assassination matches. The Uchiha hasn't even killed a bug! It'd be a total slaughter to send him in against that trained killer! Do it anyway? Well, okay, but you've gotta switch all my bets around - everything on Gaara to win! Okay!" He turned back to the studio audience, finished with his 'private' conversation that everyone had heard. "Now where were we? Oh, yes! Now, representing Konoha! The one, the only, the Amazing Walking Ego, the Pretty Princess, and darling of Fire country's pedophilic circle, The Dweebmeister!!"
Equally loud boos and jeers from the clones met this pronouncement.
"Man, that's harsh," Kiba whispered to the rest of Team 10 where they had hidden out in the forest, drawn by the noise.
"Gaara! Gaara! He's our man! He can't do it, no one can!!" Shouted a entire line of buxom cheerleader Narukos, bouncing around shaking pompoms.
Sasuke was grinding the knuckles of his fingers together. He was going to kill him. The dope was going to die! How DARE he mock him like this before an important fight?!!
"The winner of tonight's fight," Naruto announced. "Goes on to the finals for a chance to gain the coveted chunin grade!"
A roar of approval from the audience Narutos.
"And to the loser," he continued, once the volume had died down to a more bearable level, "a consolation prize. The fact that they will no longer have to put up with Sakura's whining, seeing as how they will be mercifully dead."
"He didn't just say that, did he?" Ino muttered in shocked awe, where her own team were hiding out in the woods overlooking this.
"Peanuts, popcorn, crackerjacks," Naruto clones dressed up as snack vendors were going up and down the aisles - and visiting all of the dozens of concealed teams hidden in the surrounding woods.
Choji bought a raft of snacks while he had the chance, causing Ino to drop her face into her hands in disgust.
"I'm sorry, miss," one of the vendor clones informed Anko, where she was also overlooking this, having heard the noise. "But I'm going to have to see some ID. You don't look over 18 to me."
Seeing it was nothing serious, she'd stopped a vendor to ask about some sake. Pulling a wallet out of who-knows-where, she flashed him her nin-ID card, and collected her bottle.
"And they're off!" The announcer Naruto shouted out suddenly. "The Uchiha leads with a glare to the left! A sneer to the right! Oh! It's brutal! But Gaara is staying calm in the face of this fierce disapproval!"
That was it. Sasuke decided. The dope was going to die! There was nothing that was going to save him from his wrath after he got through with this!
He'd live long enough to get the team to the tower, so that he wouldn't be disqualified and lose his own chances, but after that!
"And it's that patented Sasuke Scowl! You're seeing it yourself folks! A move that he's been practicing for the last half dozen years is now seeing its first appearance in a real death match! But Gaara seems unfazed by the blow!"
Slow and painful. Sasuke decided. It was going to be slow and painful.
"He feints with a pout! What will it be next, folks? Oh! I can't believe it! It's the dreaded eye twitch! Can it be that Gaara has gotten through to his ego already? Impossible! There's no creature on Earth more arrogant than an Uchiha! He can't be giving up yet, folks!"
"I can't believe that Sasuke hasn't already killed Naruto for this!" Ino said between mouthfuls of popcorn with extra butter.
"He would have if he could tell which was the real one." Nara sighed, reclining beside her with a bag full of peanuts. "So troublesome."
"And it's back to the scowl, folks! I haven't seen action this intense since Sasuke nearly killed himself out of sheer terror and hopelessness at his own weak and useless condition on facing his first real opponent on a C-rank mission!" Announcer Naruto shouted enthusiastically into his microphone.
"Did that really happen?" Kiba turned to Hinata who nodded, having heard the story through the kunoichi grapevine. Although the version the fangirls told was more sympathetic than that one.
The dog user enjoyed a laugh at that information.
"Oh! We've got a lip curl! The Uchiha is really pulling out the stops here, ladies and gentlemen! I wonder how Gaara of the Sands can stand it!"
Gaara of the Sands was actually enjoying himself immensely. He couldn't quite remember what approval felt like, but now he had a whole stadium audience pouring it off onto him.
And he liked it, even if they were all thousands of the same boy giving it.
"And the Uchiha takes it up to the next level by slipping into his 'I'm an angry pretty boy' stance that makes him so popular with disgusting old men and brainless fangirls!"
"Hey!" Ino cried out, still safely back in the woodlands. She'd always thought Sasuke looked cute like that!
Nara stifled a snort before he could break out laughing and offend Ino, who'd clobber him for it.
Off in his part of the woods, Kiba felt no need for any such restraint and howled openly, clutching his gut it as hurt from so much laughter.
Hinata was busy eating her footlong sausage on a bun, covered in mustard and relish, that a vendor Naruto had given her "Compliments of the house." With a silent glance to ask approval, Shino helped himself to one of the sodas out of the six pack by her side.
The energy of the sugar in the soda water would help aid his bugs if it came to a conflict.
Anko had spilled her sake, roaring with unexpected laughter as the arrogant little prick got taken down a peg, by his own teammate no less! Wiping her mouth off on her sleeve, she signaled a vendor for another round.
"Yes!" the announcer went on. "The Uchiha has slipped into his 'Feeling sorry for myself!' defense! There's nothing that Gaara can do to hurt his feelings now, folks! The Uchiha has preempted all attempts to make him feel bad by already inflicting misery on himself! This never fails to get the fangirls falling all over him! It's going to be over soon, now, ladies and gentlemen! And... YES! Gaara makes a move, instantly crushing Sasuke to death using the sand The Uchiha had been ignoring pooling up at his feet all along! It just goes to show, folks, that you should never play 'hurt feelings' in a real fight! He will have to be satisfied with our consolation prize. And our winner is GAARA!!!!"
The clones went nuts in their cheering and applause. Several teams of female Naruto cheerleaders bounced around excitedly spelling out Gaara's name letter by letter while leaping and cavorting about waving pompoms.
The after game wrap up show was almost as much of a spectacle as the actual match, with thousands of Narutos marching around on parade. They even had a brass band!
Kakashi, when he found out, went so far beyond upset that angry didn't even begin to cover it. It was as though they'd done it to him instead of Sasuke.
The amazing copycat ninja got so intensely mad he actually pulled out his Thousand Birds assassination technique in front of the Hokage, and Naruto almost got it between the eyes.
No, he got it to the chest instead, and Naruto got the unpleasant knowledge that he could actually live through having his chest blown open by Kakashi's 'one hit kill' technique.
Still, the reset put everything back to normal, as usual.
