If you could have any useless power...

might be pretty easy to escape enemies if you can become as small as a snail.

The ability to communicate telephatically to a dodo bird.

Depends on the situation but I would doubt that i'd escape, since I am small and defenceless

Power to change my skin color.

The power to make a sweet 50's montage!

Turning white sugar to brown sugar. Oooooooooooooo....

Id like the power to hibernate, That would be AWESOME! (Screw Squirrels id store up ALL the Acorns) :)

The power to be Aquaman or to be able to change coke into pepsi. Whichever is less useful.

most of you are doing it wrong, these powers must be USELESS, serving no use to anyone.

coke into pepsi would be awesome if you were a pepsi fan or knew someone who was.

hibernation would be great due to the amount weight you could easily drop by sleeping for months.

sweet 50's montages would be sweet and therefor awesome.

Skin color would be great because you could claim racism almost anywhere and apply for minority scholarships/grants.

still think you going from a full size human to a pile of clothing with a snail somewhere in them would be fucking awesome to excape most enemies (that didnt know you had the ability).

the dodo bird one is good.

Then how about the useless power to think of some useless powers?

Hmm... maybe, but come on I think most enemies would search around the clothes due to the confusion of me transforming/disapearing and would find me and suggests that I have transformed into a snail and then if they're evil enough they would salt me to death.

I'd Like the power to turn Blue on Tuesdays

i'll turn marshmallows into balls of cum

The power to Die at will

Change the length of facial hair at will and be done with hours wasted saving/fixing the goatee~

The Power, to blink my eyes 5 times a second

really? you're about to kill your enemy and he disappears and the first thing that pops into your head is: "he must have turned into a snail"? Even if he found you as a snail right after searching most people probably would not put two and two together.

Being able to see five minutes into the past.

Well it's usally unlikely that a snail would end up inside a person's clothes so yes I would think that an enemy had turned into a snail. but if no one try to look, than possible preditors like birds will pray on the snail

Why not a dildo?