My Toe.

Catcher · 2009-10-05T03:26:51+00:00

Before I begin this fascinating tale, allow me to provide some background information. People that frequent chatroll, IRC, or skype, and choose to lower themselves to talk to me will already likely have knowledge of my predicament. It began on Friday, when I finished my classes for the day and was about to drive home when someone rudely stepped on my right foot. Now, the act of stepping on my foot is not why I am bitching. It's more of the case of the nail-needle thing that happened to be in my shoe for whatever ungodly cause. So, force having been applied to the needle, it promptly chose to dig itself into my right big toe, around where the nail begins to curve into the cuticle on the left side. Quickly recognizing this pain, I jumped in the car and went home, doing what I believed was the just course of action and cleaning out the wound with alchohol pads, which hurt like a bitch, by the way. So, having thought that matter was done and dealt, I went to do what I normally do on Fridays: frequent FAKKU! Now that this brief background has been given, allow me to get to the reason I posted this thread. Yesterday(Saturday), I noticed a rather large pain in my toe, around the area where the needle had been driven in. I paid it no mind, thinking that this was natural, along with the unprecedented swelling. This was a ill-founded assumption on my part. This was the day I also began to bitch on Skype, chatroll, and a bit of IRC about my pains. The kind people of each responded with sensitivity, for which I am most grateful. I had planned to see the doctor today(Sunday), but failed to realize that the local clinic is always closed on Sundays before it was too late. I spent the majority of the night in pain, thrashing upon my bed and floor due to the divine pain that seemed to crease my toe. I finally fell asleep of exhaustion, thinking that the toe would be fully healed by today. What a dumbass, right? Today, I woke to extreme levels of pain, almost the amount of pain that one feels as his testicles are being rent. I realized that, along with a larger area of swelling, the area was now purple and black, with tints of a greenish material, and slightly yellow. The swelling now extended the majority of the area around my toenail. Believe me, this pain was simply unimaginable. So I did what every good Korean should do, I called my grandfather in a long distance call in Korea, and asked what to do. It would seem that the wound was a infection (hur, I never thought that), and I seem to remember my grandfather saying something along the lines of "Pop, squeeze, and kill that fucker." I followed his advice shortly afterwards. In preparation, I soaked my foot into hot water, to tenderize the flesh. I shaved the hairs off of the toe, in case they got in my way. I heated a needle up, and, having prepared for all the pain, sunk it into the area of the swelling. Apparently, the needle was too small, as I felt no pain, and no blood/dead cells would exude from this minor wound. Instead, I chose the impossible, I chose toothpicks. You heard me right. Toothpicks. I began this PAINFUL endeavor by working about the area of which I had already punctured my toe. Of course I sterilized the area&toothpick and shit, dumbass. Now, I've seen quite a bit of material on the internet, especially sources such as rotten.com, but there is something about seeing this happen to yourself that is rather unnerving. The level of pus that exuded withOUT pressure was simply, as one might put it, disgusting. As I watched as the dead cells leaked out of the wound, I realized what I had to do: I had to squeeze that motherfucker. Seizing upon all the testosterone and MAN I have within me, I squeezed the area. I subsequently gasped in pain, and reflex tears came to my eyes. I had finally removed the pus from that area. Joyful tears came to my eyes as I realized the pain was over. But perhaps I spoke too soon, for I realized that the majority of the area was still swollen. I squeezed some more, and much to my dismay, no vile substance leaked from that wound. I had no choice but to bring back the toothpick. I carefully expanded that area, squeezing as I went, gasping from the pain, and a tear or two probably fell from my visage as I went. I had gotten the majority of the shit out. Now, there was one final obstacle: the left side of my toe. Ready for all the pain, I sunk the toothpick and made a hole in the left side of my toe. The pain was simply unaccountable. Tears began a freeflow. I took advantage of the mind-numbing pain and squeezed as hard as I could, releasing large amounts of disgusting crap upon the magazine I had under my foot. During this period, I estimate that I may have felt as physically crushed as I felt emotionally crushed after watching Clannad After Story. Not nearly as many tears, however. Finally, when I felt I could take it no further, no more pus exited the wound. It was over. I promptly fell asleep after washing and watching up the wounds. Summary: Some faggot hurt his toe. Faggot got infection. Faggot removed it. Faggot cried like a little bitch. What I'm trying to say: Toe infections are the bane of my animosity, the subject of every fibre of my waking being's discontent. They are painful as well.

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Ramsus

15 years ago

That's comedy gold there Catcher.

Edit: I just stubbed my toe on a doorway, this is a tragedy.

Catcher

15 years ago

I can only imagine your severe pain and the ensuing trauma, Ramsus.

Tsurayu

15 years ago

illumi wrote...

I get ingrown toe nails several times a year, I usually rip em out, but its quite painful.

If you've ever seen a procedure of removing an ingrown toenail, you should know. Imagine me doing that, but with pliers and nail clippers. With no pain-killers. Everytime I do it, it bleeds quite a lot, and I take off a good chunk of skinn(Where the nail was going into my skin). I have to do this early on so it doesn't get to the point it really hurts. The first time I did it being desperate. Hurt like a biiiiitch. But I'd rather deal with me ripping out part of a toenail then spending days upon days of pain just walking.

Ugh, I've done that once before. Not fun. Never again either. Luckily now whey they grow to a certain point they kind of pierce the top edge of the skin next to my toenail and I can usually manage to pull them out. Still hurts, but not as bad as when I tried to go all surgical on myself.

dr roxo

15 years ago

owch you guys have it tough, usually i see a dr for this kind of thing

Tsurayu

15 years ago

dr roxo wrote...

owch you guys have it tough, usually i see a dr for this kind of thing

Well when you don't have health insurance it really isn't an option unless it is a life-or-death situation.

Fiery_penguin_of_doom

15 years ago

Tsurayu wrote...

dr roxo wrote...

owch you guys have it tough, usually i see a dr for this kind of thing

Well when you don't have health insurance it really isn't an option unless it is a life-or-death situation.

I prefer to think of it as a more of a "Do it yourself" kind of mentality. Somehow linked to the mentality that you can remodel your house without a professional.

Tsurayu

15 years ago

It isn't that I'd rather do it myself, but it isn't that bad, my toes are rarely infected or swollen anymore, so why pay all that money when it is still manageable?

Rather what I need to do is get a good job and a health insurance plan. Damn, if I knew I was going to be without health insurance for so long I would have just went to college so I could continue to ride on my parents health insurance for a few more years.

thatoneguy101

15 years ago

And all i took away from this post was bitch, bitch, bitch, whine,whine,whine hahah

Jokes that took balls man Kudo's to you something like that happened to me a couple summers ago i stubbed my toe on a Catus and that went and got infected pretty much the only differene is that I used a knife straight off the bat.

But a toothpick man thats kick ass wheres the picture of all the infected goodness?

Catcher

15 years ago

Fiery_penguin_of_doom wrote...

I prefer to think of it as a more of a "Do it yourself" kind of mentality.

Exactly how I felt. Now I realize I should've taken some painkillers before attempting this.

Here is a picture after I finished:

Spoiler:

Stenny

15 years ago

I can only say that, the worst thing i've ever done to my toe is had a blood blister from kicking a concrete step.
At my grandparent's house.
When i was 10.

Kuro1/2

15 years ago

You are a champ Gambler. I've had that happen to me too but it was in the ring finger of my left hand. I hit my hand accidentaly on a closet and it got just like that. It started swelling, turned green, and then yellow and black. It also hurt like a fucking bitch. Oh yes and I also used a toothpick to open the thing, and then I had to sqeeze all the pus and shit out. I didn't have to puncture so many holes though haha.

Temcor

15 years ago

Ouch toothpick, really sounds painful. Now the ordeal is over you should be proud of yourself for being brave enough to do it. I'm not sure if mine is as painful as you but once I had to pull out one of my toenail because I kicked a ball wrongly. Good thing is I don't need to cut my toenail since I no longer have any toenail though they kinda grow back after few weeks.

Kuroneko1/2 wrote...

You are a champ Gambler.

So what did Gambler do?

lollollol12

15 years ago

NEXT TIME, TRY AMPUTATION

Tsurayu

15 years ago

Kuroneko1/2 wrote...

You are a champ Gambler.

Temcor wrote...

So what did Gambler do?

Yeah, I think he meant Catcher.

Kuro1/2

15 years ago

Tsurayu wrote...

Kuroneko1/2 wrote...

You are a champ Gambler.

Temcor wrote...

So what did Gambler do?

Yeah, I think he meant Catcher.

Indeed I failed. The names are close enough so I mixed them.

Tegumi "im always cute"

15 years ago

Hey Catcher, did you ever go see a physician?

Sindalf Used to do stuff

15 years ago

That was seriously quite the read. I regret putting it off and requesting tl;dr.

I hope your toe feels better.

The only thing that has ever happened to me was when I scrapped my toe bad enough that now even tho its a year later whenever anything hits the left upper side of my big toe I feel incredible pain.

Uzumaki101

15 years ago

No matter how much I bump, scratch or stub my toe, this has never happened. I thank the invisible man up there.

Also, cool story Bro

Ethil

15 years ago

I felt the pain aching through my entire body as I read that. Damn, you're a champion. *applause*

phrmcy

15 years ago

While I was reading it I went "oh fuck" when you brought out the toothpick.
It reminded me of the video that went viral not to long ago.

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