need advice(didnt know where to put this)

ok i don't know a good way to start this,but...

to preface this,awhile ago i had sex with this girl and she really liked(still does) me alot,but the feeling wasn't mutual.so fast forward to last night.i get a knock on the door,its her saying we needed to talk.seems like she thinks she might be pregnant and shes narrowed down the list of possible fathers to 3 or 4,with me as one of the possibilities.now i really dont feel i'm ready for a child at the moment,but shes really pushing the idea that its me, saying she really hopes its mine(which i really dont think so).now my mind is racing.what if she keeps coming around claiming its mine?,what if that .1% possibility is true and it is?

what should i do??

You have to wait until the baby is born to do the DNA testing, but before you tell her all this make sure to ask her if what she's planning to do with the baby, if she's putting it up for adoption or not.

If she says she's not, make sure to mention that you're not ready for a child yet.
There's not much you can do but take responsibility if the child happens to be yours.

Some girls get a little carried away with their own little la-la fantasy world that the guy will move in with them, raise the child and live happily ever after. Make sure she understands that you're not ready for a child yet. If you don't have one, you'll have to get a job and start helping her pay for things [if it's yours]. You'll have to take care of the child when she's away / busy on occasion, pay tons of money for diapers, food, etc. You don't have to commit yourself to HER just make sure to commit yourself to your child.

I guess all that's left is waiting for the child to be born, and doing a DNA test. Until then, ask her a few questions. Ask her if she's ready for one, what's she planning on doing with it, How's she planning on putting up with the costs, etc.

Edit: I just re-read your post. MIGHT be pregnant? Tell her to go to a doctor before she stresses herself and four other guys to the point of insanity. She just might have a late period.

meh agrees with rayne :3 +rep for rayne

thanks for the reply.and an update:
yes, we discussed our options and she says she wants to keep it.2.yes she is pregnant(so now is confirmed).and yes i will man up if its mine(which i told her).so all thats left is paternity

as for your questions.1.yes she's ready for one(she tells me)..well two(as she already has a son from a previous bf)

this also throws my life plan off course,as i was planning on moving far away.i grew up without my father or knowing anything about him(i did when i got older) and if it's mine,i dunno if i want to put them through that

All I Can Say Is Good Luck With The Choice Both Of You Make.

Like wise. If it is your kid,don't become the person you don't want to be,become what you are.

I don't mean to be cruel but...if both of you are not ready for this, why don't you consider aborting the baby? You may say whatever about manning up and stuff, but make sure you've evaluated all the options possible. I'm from a sucky family so...I know I prefer to be aborted given the choice...

Well, of course it's impossible, but I really hope the child don't feel that way because of the parent...

Good luck, anyway. Raising a child, if done correctly is a very respectable deed to me.

i'm not,but i didnt say she wasnt ready.we did discuss abortion,but she wants to keep it

I agree.

You know I understand the whole "manning up" and "taking responsibility" but if you still have so much you want to accomplish (before settling down) it would be a shame to lose your chances to this because you knocked someone up. Ok yes, it is your (and her) fault this happened but nonetheless if you are going to take care of this child while knowing you could've been pursuing your dreams then chances might that you end up regretting it, hence becoming stressed and (possibly) become bitter toward the child that took your chances away.

Also seeing that the girl you impregnated had multiple sex partners (seeing as there were multiple people who could've been the father) it makes me wonder if she really wants to have this kid WITH YOU, or just wants to have a kid. Question is, do you love her? If not, do you want to raise a kid from and with someone you don't truly love. It's a big commitment. On top she also has a child from a previous boyfriend which also kind of seems like she just wanted a child, seeing as she no longer is together with her previous boyfriend. To me this somewhat gives me the impression that she is NOT ready for children, as a good mother would've done everything to make sure her child was raised in the best condition having a good supporting father. In my opinion a good mother shouldn't go around brashly having sex with different people, this just doesn't fit in my idea of a good mother. Nor is having another child while you still don't have a steady family life to support it. (Mother & father)

Abortion is an option, if you feel like she should get an abortion and she doesn't want to then it's also up to you to say you don't want to partake in this. Taking care of a child that you feel shouldn't be here wouldn't be good for you nor for the child, as he/she might grow up feeling like it shouldn't have been born.

It's up to you however, you should figure out what you do. Whatever it may be, best of luck.

Wow you really must be stressing and head must be pounding. That why you should double rap you stick.

Just remember you bringing a kid in the world and you guys get you act together. Caring a baby will be the hardest task you ever do. But I would say that it's the girl fault for sleeping with other guys for not knowing what will the outcome be.

So you going to keep the baby? Remember, they will keep up at night and when they get sick you'll feel you world crashing down. But I give you props for not running away! That a true man. The most important are you guys financially stable to get a baby? and emotionally? and are you sure that once the baby seattle in, will she be going to run around some more with some other guys?? Do you think when that baby grows up, will he remember back in past thinking he had a good childhood?

My advice you if your the real father is Your going to have your first child, make him smile every day. Also be aware during the pregnancy, she'll be such a bitchy person.... Just make her feel like princess (Even though she doesn't deserve it)

if she she does run around with other guys,i dont care.see this isnt my gf or anything(i'm single),this isnt even someone i can stand to be around,anything more than 10 mins has me praying for death just to get away from her.thats what complicates matters,she isnt a gf,she isnt a friend or even an ex(where there was at least somethings you once liked about her to draw on).and thats were some of the complication comes from.

Well this somewhat makes it even more complicated indeed, I understand you don't want to let the child go through what you have gone through (not having a father), but are you seriously willing to raise a child with someone you don't even really like at all.

I mean how healthy will this be the child's development? I mean I don't doubt that you will do your best (it's not even you I have doubts about), but there's a limit to how well you will be able to keep functioning under these conditions.

I suggest not worrying about anything until it's confirmed that you're the father. You're just going to get the same advice over and over again on here.

So until you know if you're truly the father just chill out. If you don't have a job - start looking for one. It's better to be safe rather then looking for jobs last minute when bills [hospital, food, diapers, etc] start to rake up.

When's the baby even due?