Reviewing Horror Movies

This is a thread where we review and rate horror movies we have seen!

I decided to make this thread here instead of in Entertainment because I'd like to see reviews from fans of horror films, people who might like things that are paranormal. Often, a horror movie that is good will be panned by critics because it's just a simple horror movie, while fans of the genre will absolutely love the movie.

Suffice to say, if you never watch horror movies or don't like the genre, you probably shouldn't be posting in this thread. But if you've loved horror movies since you were a kid, this is the place for you! Also, feel free to compare horror movies, maybe alluding to one movie in your review of another. Just about every horror movie can be compared to another horror movie, to make it easier to talk about the good points and bad points of the film.

I'll start with a movie that I hated but everyone else seemed to love: The Hamiltons.



The Hamiltons is an independent horror film that was one of the 8 Films to Die For in 2006. It features a seemingly normal family with a dark secret. Never heard that before, right? But this movie is a little different - the "dark secret" isn't completely revealed until the very end of the movie, but the horrors that occur because of the secret aren't hidden in the least.

Because the audience can see everything that happens, there is no suspense. The reveal at the end isn't so much a surprise as a piece of information that is clearly meant to be a surprise. It's thrown in there to shock the audience, and it's not necessary. The movie makes sense without the "reveal," and by the time everything comes out in the open, the audience should have already realized everything that's going on. It's possible that a person watching the movie may be shocked at the ending because the viewer was sure that the family was [blank] when really they were [blank] (I won't say what they are so as to not spoil the movie), but the viewer would only be shocked because of plot holes that are never addressed. Of course, if the plot holes didn't exist, then there would be absolutely zero surprise at the end, because the answer would have been so very obvious that a five-year-old would know what was going on and been bored.

I was extremely surprised when I saw that this movie was highly praised by critics and horror fans. Yes, it's not a dull slasher film, but it is a dull attempt at a mindfuck, and I would rather watch people get killed for no reason than have a director try to be sneaky and ingenious and fail miserably.

I give this movie my lowest rating: Seven thumbs down.

Tasty thread. Here's one.



8/10

Tartan Extreme makes some of my favorite asian horror, and although this isn't exactly on the top of my list, it isn't bad either.

Ever been haunted by a pair of shoes? This pretty red pair of shoes seems to turn up in the strangest places, and anyone nearby is immediately drawn to them, beckoned to put them on. That is when the trouble starts. The owner and wearer of these shoes is immediatley steeped in deepest misfortune. The greed to keep them, the jealousy from others to posess them, and the inevitable gory murders that follow...all of it thanks to a dastardly plot involving this cursed footwear, sometime in the past.

The movie weaves a pretty interesting story, and the blood level on this one is up there. Has some really good scenes in this one, even the beginning starts off pretty nice. Confusion is minimal throughout, which is blessing, and the ending is decent. I enjoyed this movie not just for the blood value, but also for the interesting story. You can't help but wonder what the deal is with those shoes as soon as you start watching, and I think you'll enjoy finding out.

Are we doing ACTUAL horror movies, or the hilarious horror movies? :?

John Carpenter's The Thing

i never know the film exist until i heard about the game with same title on 2002...people said it's the best sci-fi+horror same level as Alien some says better...so i try to finding it for the next 5 months until i bought it and watched it...they were absolutely correct... 8) 8) 8)

this movie used paranoia and trust as its main subject...after the researchers of US Outpost North 31 discovered about the alien's capability which this 'thing' capable of absorbing and perfectly imitating other life-forms...then the tense begins...everyone starting to distrust each other and few are about to snaps...one by one were killed...the best scene i've watched in this movie when they were doing blood test on each other as it's the only way to find out which is human or thing...

the movie's special effects is super awesomex2... 8) hell...even today's CG couldn't compare to it...thanks to the master of special effect's master Rob Bottin...also withe the help of stan winston too...both of them later became the famous special make up artist...Rob Bottin worked on The Thing seven days a week (including late nights) for a year and five months straight, making himself so ill in the process that John Carpenter had him admitted to a hospital when production was complete...damn

the movie do poorly on the cinema after been beat by E.T...WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK...(probably people at that time mostly were hippies)...but the film’s reputation improved in the late nineties through home video releases...(at this time...most people already became violence :lol: )... 8)
well...there's no need to say more...those who already watched this film probably give it 10/10 cause i am...maybe i've said this before but i still have to say it again...if you don't watch it yet, watch it...seriously... 8)

Hmm, I'm not sure. If it's a movie like Shaun of the Dead, where even a person who doesn't like horror will enjoy it, then I'd say leave it out. But if it's a movie like Evil Dead, that's geared towards fans of horror, that'd be fine.

Also, I should mention this in the first post, but everyone, feel free to discuss horror movies in general, even if you're not reviewing a specific movie, as long as it's not just a three-word response, like "I like horror."

Audition
8/10

The score I gave is a bit misleading, but I'll get to that later.

This movie has an interesting premise, and starts off more like a romantic comedy than a horror film. A widower/film director is feeling lonely, so he calls up his buddy one day and they agree to find him some tail. But they don't go to a bar or something, no, they actually start holding auditions for his 'new movie' in order to draw in chicks that he might like. I'm sure it seemed like a really awesome idea at the time.

Things progress nicely, and he even finds a girl that seems interesting. Very shy and quiet, and beautiful and everything he likes, so she gets 'the part'. He calls her up, takes her to dinner, the whole nine yards. Naturally, he doesn't realize that he picked a bit of a psycho until its much too late.

Now, this should have gotten a bit of a lower score, since this whole first part of the movie with the auditions, and the dating, and the fragmented pieces of plot and half-assed flashbacks is all a bit tedious. It was hard to get through for me and I almost considered turning it off. Still, the payoff is the ending of the flick. I don't want to spoiler this one, but there is some gruesome stuff at the end that any horror fan would probably enjoy. Might be a bit too much for some, but it is definitely worth watching the rest of this movie.

I definitely agree about the ending. Watching the ending of this movie is a good way to test how much you can handle with regards to gore. Though I'm sure fans of the Saw and Hostel series wouldn't even flinch.

Haha, I guess that's true, isn't it? Thanks to hostel and the likes it is hard to find anything too shocking these days anymore. 'Tis sad. Well, here's another one.



The title on their says Hellion: The Devil's Playground, but I'll be referring to it by its original title. Cubbyhouse. Dun dun DUUUN.

9/10.

Imagine a simple suburban family, a mother and her three kids moving to a quiet neighborhood after a messy divorce in order to get their life back together. They find this great house with a huge backyard, and hidden amongst a ridiculous amount of vines and shrubberies and the like, is a cubbyhouse. A little playhouse for kids. Naturally, the kids find this and start to try and make it their own, but soon realize that there is something extremely wrong with this idyllic setting!

The tiny house is evil, and soon has the kids under its diabolic spell. I'm sure it had some sort of demonic agenda, but I don't completely remember what exactly it was. I do know this though, this movie was fun. For something that seemed to have little production value, the acting was above decent, the special effects were done rather well, and the plot was pretty enjoyable. I think this is the sorta horror movie you could probably go see with your kids, or enjoy with the whole family, although that does mean that the blood/gore levels on this one are rather low. There are several 'evil' vines...and some other neat stuff, but you will find more creativity than outright carnage. Either way, it was fun to watch.

Wicked Little Things



7/10

This is another one of After Dark's 8 Films to Die For. People often say that the After Dark Horrofest movies are horrible, and I'll have to agree most of the time. But this movie is alright.

A widow and her two daughters move to the mountains to live in the house the dead husband left to them in his will. Unfortunately, near the house is an abandoned mine that, many years before, collapsed with several children workers inside. It is said that at night, the ghosts/zombies of the children arise and feast on the living.

About half of the movie features no zombies or ghosts (save for a couple of seconds to shake the audience up), and that's one thing I like about this movie. For a while, it focuses on the mother and her two daughters and the creepy, rundown house that they are now inhabiting. The tall, half-dead trees that surround the area and seem to stretch for miles will shake anyone who has been in such an area before, especially if they were there as a child. There's something very creepy about that sort of area, whether it's not being sure if there is someone hiding in the woods or knowing that walking for a mere five minutes could get you so lost that no one would find you. The old house adds to the fear. At first, it has no electricity, no water, no phone, and even after those things get turned on, it has an awful look that makes you feel like it could fall down around you at any time.

The film doesn't move too quickly, but the time doesn't drag on. It's nice to see how the family acts, from the older daughter hearing the urban legends about the place to the mother finding old photos in the basement and uncovering the truth about the place. The problem is, not a lot happens in the movie. The family moves in, they hear about the past, strange stuff happens, and then the zombie children attack. That's it. You won't be on the edge of your seat, and you won't be wondering what happens next, but it's still enjoyable. Partly because this isn't a movie that uses gore and violence to spice things up. There is a lot of death, but not a lot of details are shown, which is often better. But there is one thing that might bug viewers regarding gore, and that's the blood. In several scenes, the zombie children will be shown swinging their picks and shovels, and the camera will be pointed up, on the kids, so the victim isn't seen, and blood will fly up the way water does if you drop a bowling ball in a swimming pool. Plus, the blood looks too watery, like it's just red water instead of thick, syrupy blood.

All in all, this is a simple movie that doesn't use too many horror cliches. It's not a gore fest, and it's refreshing to see girls that aren't 90% tits or stupid as a brick. It's not going to go on anyone's favorites list, but it's worth watching.

The Woods

9/10

I probably give this movie a higher rating than it truly deserves, but it has Bruce Campbell in it at some points, and that simply kicks it up a notch for me.

It starts out with a girl being driven to an all-girls school where she is supposed to learn to behave herself. Apparently setting fire to some tree in the backyard was a bit too much to handle for her parents (Her father is Bruce Campbell), and the only solution they could think of was some school in the middle of nowhere surrounded by the darkest forest they could find. Naturally, she doesn't want to be there, and at first it doesn't look like she could afford it, but after taking an 'aptitude' test she is admitted.

The teachers are weird. They seem friendly at a first glance, but you can tell they're the kind that will do 'things' to you behind closed doors. The other students aren't exactly helpful either, since she runs into a bully pretty much on day one. And the sleeping arrangements...how come there's this one empty bunk in her dorm? Apparently one of the girls is no longer there with them...

Our protagonist quickly learns that disobedience has some harsh punishments, that from now on she is pretty much just going to have nightmares, and that just maybe...she has developed magical powers. We soon find out that the woods are naturally a very dangerous place after dark due to some students in the past getting killed, or lost, or something...you know how it goes.

I think this movie was alot of fun to watch, although there isn't much in the way of blood and gore at all in this one. Mostly, you are just watching to see how the main girl survives throughout her ordeal and finding out the dark secrets of 'the woods' as well as that accursed school she has been sent to. Bruce Campbell makes more than one appearance in this, and the ending has a very Sam Raimi feel to it that I really enjoyed. If you are looking for a slaughterfest, this isn't the thing for you, but it will keep most people on the edge of their seats.

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe


6/10

First things first - if you haven't seen the original movie, The Lost Boys, then fucking rent it! It's awesome. Anyways, if you haven't seen the first one, then you'll be missing out on the best part of this movie, Corey Feldman's character, Edgar Frog. However, if you haven't seen the first movie, then you might actually be helping yourself, since you won't be able to compare this movie and the classic.

The story: A brother and sister move to a town after their parents die. Town has vampires. Sister becomes a half-vampire, and brother has to save her by killing the head vampire. Assisting is the Frog brother (only one; there used to be two). That's it. Real simple and a lot of comparisons with the first movie. In fact, this is essentially a clone of the original, except that it takes place in the twenty-first century (proven by the "music" that is played throughout the movie) and some genders and roles are switched around.

This movie isn't terrible, but it's nothing to write home about. It's pretty bland, but it doesn't really taste bad going down. Fortunately, it doesn't leave a bad aftertaste. Unfortunately, it doesn't leave anything. The movie ends, and you go, "So what? There goes an hour and a half of my life." One good thing, however, is that the very end of the movie does contain a pretty good laugh, and I do mean, the very end. Seriously, it's the last minute before the credits roll, and it's the second most memorable part of the movie. (The most memorable part being Feldman's Frog character and his wonderful pun: "Who ordered the stake?")

The vampires aren't all that cool, but I did like that they stab and gut each other for kicks, taking advantage of their immortality. Too bad none of the vamps are fearsome or impressive; while David had a strong presence in the first movie, the head vamp in this movie, Shane, just seems like a jerk who's phoning it in. His cronies seem far more dangerous, and that's a shame. It makes the final battle a big letdown. Well, it would, if the audience thought for once throughout the movie that Shane could kick anybody's ass.

In the end, this movie doesn't do justice to the great film that The Lost Boys was, and there are better things to watch, but this isn't a complete miscarriage of a movie. I've seen much worse vampire movies.

Finally! I was waiting for someone to bump this thread.



The haunting of Random bitch #217 Molly Hartley
2/10

The first thing I should point out is that starting off a movie name with the words 'the haunting of' needs to stop. Pretty much every horror movie somebody gets haunted by something, so not only is this redundant, it's also very lazy. Ironically, Molly experienced such a tiny amount of being haunted in this movie, it was silly.

The story starts out lame. We learn that Molly's parents sold her to the devil, a deal that saved her life at birth and gives her up to evil once she hits 18. Naturally, once that birthday rolls around, even they are trying to kill the bitch so the evil doesn't happen. That's pretty much the entire movie. Mom stabs her (not an experienced stabber, so Molly lives. Take classes, dammit), gets committed. And that is pretty much the last time anything really interesting happens. The rest of the movie is just Molly and her lame-ass boring school life. She isn't that hot, none of her friends are that hot, and by god nobody gets naked. It was hard to watch.

I think once she passed out in a bathroom for hearing voices. And once or twice she had nightmares. I have nightmares sometimes, I don't fucking tell people I'm haunted! It isn't until the very end of the movie when they wrap up the entire plot in about five minutes. Oh and the ending is lame and very unsatisfying. This was the worst haunting of I have ever been a witness to. The only reason this got a 2 instead of a 1 is because at one point Molly breaks some chicks arm. I guess she ate her wheaties that day, since she sure as hell doesn't seem to have any sort of supernatural powers for the rest of the movie.

If it hasn't been bumped in a long time, I think it's fine if you bump it, even if you made the last post. :)

Drive-Thru


5/10 --> If you take it seriously
8/10 --> If you're stoned or drunk

This is an odd movie. It has some cool stuff and some shitty stuff. In fact, I think the whole movie is comprised of opposites. I'll explain more later.

The movie starts with two wiggers and their hos going to a fastfood place to get their grub on. The clown mask that takes their orders talks smack, so the guys head inside to cause trouble. One even pulls out his gun, to deal with a guy who says, "Do you want fries with that?" for a living. Little do the idiots know that there are no geeks working; there is only Horny the Clown, an angry man inside a kickass outfit that has murder on his mind.

Okay, the opposites. First, the killer in this movie looks fucking awesome. Look at him:

So, Horny looks cool, moves hella-fast, has awesome weapons, and kills (some) people in bodacious ways. However, we don't always see the murders, and Horny doesn't spend a lot of time on-screen. Instead, we have to deal with the annoying fucking teenagers.

Which leads to another opposite - this is a hokey slasher flick, filled with teenagers who met their grisly ends, but there's no nudity (all slashers should have at least one pair of tits!), and there is paranormal shit going on. The main girl gets messages from Horny about who is going to die next from a magic 8-ball and an Etch-A-Sketch!

That's why I gave this movie 3 more points if you're stoned. If you're sober, an Etch-A-Sketch being used as a tool for forewarning death seems stupid as hell. But if you're stoned, it's just fucking hilarious. In fact, if you're stoned, the whole movie is hilarious, and you'll probably want to dress up at Horny for Halloween for the rest of your life.

Anyways, the movie seems to be ripping off a couple of different movies, especially A Nightmare on Elm Street. I'm guessing it's either meant to be as a parody or a nod to that movie, but it feels like bad writing. (Unless you're stoned, then you don't give a damn.) A couple of deaths are really cool, but as the movie goes on, you'll probably get bored and want it to hurry up and end. Horny the Clown only gives so much satisfaction.

That's the end of the review, but I still feel like ranting, so here are some more of the insane opposites found in the movie. They may contain spoilers, but who the fuck cares?

Dude, that music video was awesome! I'm gonna check out that movie.

Yeogo gwae-dam 4: Moksori

aka 'Voice' (The picture on the cover is about three times as bad-ass as the movie itself, be forewarned)

5/10

This is the fourth one in a line of korean high school horror movies, and although I didn't realize it before, I had already seen the third one; The Wishing Stairs. That's an entirely different rant involving evil stairs, and I'm not going to get into that right now. This movie is about a young choir girl who pretty much gets her ass killed by a flying piece of sheet music to the neck about three minutes into the picture. For the rest of it, we follow her around as she tries to figure out why she died, using the help of her best friend/only person who can see her.

The concept is simple, perhaps a bit too simple. Bit by bit we learn more about what really happened at that school and what exactly killed...hold on...Young-Eon. For the life of me, I can't remember korean names. Anyway, she goes through a series of flashbacks, we learn that there might have been an affair with the lesbo choir teacher, and then, of course, there are other murders in order to keep our interest going. There's at least one killing that had some real good creativity to it, and a few minor killings that could have been alot more interesting.

As a whole, this is hard to watch. It's slow paced, it's kinda boring story-wise, and although the ending is somewhat interesting due to the classic twist, by then you find it hard to care anymore. The only reason I gave it a score this high is because of the music. Mind you, there is a good chance you will not care the same way I do, but I love some well done choir music, and this movie delivers. I actually got the soundtrack. Not only that, there are some awesome cello pieces as well.

So if you are sorta in the mood for horror, but would much rather get something interesting to listen to, totally check this one out. ...Don't buy it though, you'll feel bad later.

Great reviews guys keep it up. There are some horror movies here that I haven't seen yet, I like the old gore stuff, though if it's low budget...then oh well at least it's a horror film.

Fear of Clowns
4/10

As we all know, clowns are spooky. Be it good ol' Pennywise from It, or those darn killer clowns from outer space, they have been a form of terror for a very long time now. This movie is keeping with that theme, although it takes it into a bit of a different direction.

See, we no longer concentrate on fancy make up, or even decent clown-related acting. These days, we just make 'em buff.


This movie is about a woman who paints clowns for a living, despite the fact that she has coulrophobia (Fancy term for clown fear). Most of us would only think it natural at this point that one of her paintings seems to have come to life, as a homocidal clown/weightlifter starts stalking her, killing her friends, leaving grease paint everywhere. You get the picture.

Watch buff clown cruise around in his murder van (his term, not mine) and make this woman's life a living hell for pretty much no good reason. The blood level on this one is low to moderate, and despite the fact that there are quite a few deaths, they certainly could have been a little bit more creative. When you make a clown into a killer, you have to give him his own style of awesome, elsewise you just have some jackass in a costume doing what everyone else is doing. I rated it a four, which I find is still somewhat high, but there are some funny one-liners in this. Might have been a bit of nudity, too, but it wasn't that good.

So this is pretty much just for all you hardcore clown fans. If you've seen all the others, might as well add this one to the pile as well.

One Eyed Monster
5/10

Have you ever wondered how many penis related jokes and puns any could possibly cram into one single movie? Wonder no further, for Ron Jeremy and his cinematic non-porn debut has all the answers! The plot is simple. A typical porn crew moves to an abandoned snow covered mountain cabin in order to shoot their latest skin flick...because, I guess the couch they had back in the city wasn't quite fluffy enough. The shoot is off to a bad start as Ron isn't feeling to well, and during a break for fresh air, an alien life force takes over his penis. The rest of this picture pretty much writes itself.

I liked the fact that it wasn't too goofy, plus I always enjoy a picture with Amber Benson in it. It's too bad she doesn't have that big of a part. Considering the theme of the flick, yes, there is some nudity here and there, although probably not as much as one would expect from a porn shoot. This has some decent one-liners and some fairly good acting, especially from grizzled old Charles Napier who graces us with a penis-related war story at one point.

Definitely good for a laugh, but not exactly a cinematic masterpiece, I recommend viewing it with two wise-cracking robots so you can make it fun of it all proper-like.

Devil's Trade



Not really a movie, just some "webisodes" that, when put together, make a 25-minute short film. Plus, you can only watch it online or On-Demand. Still, I watched it, and now I'm reviewing it.

First off, this is short. Not even half an hour. That means that even if you watch it and hate it, you won't have wasted too much time. It also means that it's better than a lot of the other horror movies that I've seen, because it doesn't drag on for too long.

A guy buys a "cursed" cross from a website that is supposedly made from the Devil's Tree in New Jersey. No one would ever believe that it's real because who believes in curses, right? But that's not all - the cross is only $5. Why would anyone buy it? Then again, it's $5. Not exactly a large amount.

There are only three characters - the guy who buys the cross, his sister, and his sister's boyfriend. Two other characters make small appearances, and that's it. Nice and simple, I suppose, but also boring as hell. Anyways, the brother and sister know something's up when they both start having visions of death (the brother sees the sister die and vice versa). They talk and decide that the only way to get rid of the curse is to sell the cross. But instead of cursing a random person, they decide to sell it back to the woman who sold it to them.

Any more story details, and it'll be spoiler time. It is a short film.

I can't really give a score to this. It's not great, but it's half an hour long, and it's not horrible. People shouldn't go out of their way to see this, that's for sure, but if you have On-Demand, it's worth watching if you're bored. The good thing about this film is that it talks about the Devil's Tree, which is a pretty cool, real thing. Hopefully, the people who see this film will look up the Devil's Tree and become interested in it.

Sorry for the double post, but this hasn't been touched by months.

Waxwork (1988)



First off, I only watched this movie so I could watch Waxwork 2, which has Bruce Campbell in it. That said, I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't expecting much to begin with.

The plot doesn't make sense at any point in the movie, but it doesn't matter. Guy owns a wax museum with gruesome attractions, gets teenagers to visit it after dark, they go into scenes, die, and become new pieces. Because of this, the movie almost works like a series of vignettes with an overarching story. Unfortunately, there are only a few vignettes before the main story takes over, which isn't that bad, but it's not as good as the stories that take place in the wax worlds, or whatever they are.

The gore is decent throughout the movie, but there's not enough of it, except in one scene that involves vampires. Blood is every-fucking-where, and it is amazing. However, that too is over far too soon.

I can't say this is a great movie or a bad movie. It's not as boring as the typical slasher, but it doesn't make for a good paranormal movie either, as all the paranormal stuff makes little sense and seems to be tacked on just to explain some things. I guess, it's a movie based around an idea - kill people by throwing them in different scenarios. And it works. You get to see a werewolf, a mummy, vampires, and zombies, all in the same movie. But the story is silly, and the last ten minutes or so are pretty boring, despite a big fight scene.

6/10

I hope Waxwork 2 is better. It should be, it has the king himself!

May (2002)

First of all, thanks Shaggy one, for bumping this thread. Now for the movie. May is an older horror movie, and it most certainly doesn't fit into the traditional category of gore and slash, although it does have a little of both here and there. Mostly, this is a psychological piece, a journey that you experience right alongside the protagonist.

The story is about May, an awkward girl with several problems in her life. There's the lazy eye, her strange parents, extreme shyness and to top it all off, she is soon forced to wear glasses. Neeeerd! Anyway, after a very lonely and horrid childhood, she lives alone and works at a vets office where she seems to be in charge of various odd jobs, and dealing with her weird-ass co-worker (Anne Farris). Her life is pretty hum drum, until she meets a boy. Doesn't it always go like that? May, naturally, isn't good with boys, but she somehow manages to start talking to him, learning of his love of gory movies. Mostly, she just wants him to like her so she tries, best as she can, to emulate what he would enjoy.

You can imagine that it gets a bit weird from that moment on, as May just tries to get him, and eventually just anyone, to like her. You can really feel what she is going through during this suspenseful and emotional journey, even though her view on life is clearly somewhat skewed. It is no surprise that the best part of this movie is the ending, since alot of the picture seems to be build up. I really liked this, it was a great watch even though it took a while for me to get into it. 7/10