g-money wrote...
I once posted this "shit happens" joke in IB I think, but the joke is a bit different from the image. Here's the shit joke that I know:
Shit(= Ben phenomenon)Happens
Environmentalism:
Shit is biodegradable.
Good shit only happens once; bad shit is recycled.
Humanity happens.
Political Correctness:
Heavily processed nutritionally deprived biological output happens.
Communism:
It's everybody's shit.
Let's spread the shit out equally among every one.
The Imperialists cause shit to happen, Comrade!
Marxism:
The rich shit exploits the poor shit, but deep down all shit is alike.
Dictatorship of the shit.
The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna dish it back out again.
Socialism:
The same shit happens to everyone.
Capitalism:
Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
If you're gonna sell that shit, at least make a profit.
That's MY shit.
Democracy:
Everyone has the same opportunity to make shit happen.
Republic:
We elect others to take care of shit for us.
Libertarianism:
Hands off my shit.
Liberalism:
Society's to blame for shit happening.
Conservatism:
Shit Happens, but not right now.
Republicanism:
There's nothing like a good shit. Flush the toilet.
Democratism:
How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit?
Commercialism:
Let's package this shit.
Idolism:
Let's bronze this shit.
Victorianism:
Excrement occurs, but we do not partake in its discussion in civilized society.
Americanism:
Who gives a shit?
Egoism:
I am the shit!
Feminism:
This shit happened before, and we won't clean it up!
Men are shit.
Why does shit only happen to women!?
Put the seat back down, you Shit.
Chauvinism:
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Impressionism:
From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Abstract expressionism:
Look at this shit I just took on the canvas!
Dadaism:
Shit bzzt gim blim ba dum boop!
Post-modernism:
New shit is just a mix of old shit.
Surrealism:
Fish.
Materialism:
Whoever dies with the most shit wins.
Utilitarianism:
Whatever does the most shit for the most people is best.
Hedonism:
There's nothing quite like a good shit.
When Shit happens, enjoy it!
Utopianism:
This shit does not stink.
Epicureanism:
Shit happens -- in moderation.
Existentialism:
Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
Shit happening is absurd.
I shit, therefore I sit.
Scientificism:
We seem to think Shit Happens, but it's just a theory.
Apathism:
I don't give a shit.
Realism:
I think I need to take a shit.
Idealism:
I can deal with any shit.
Objectivism:
Shit is Shit.
Denialism:
What shit?
Depressionism:
Why can't shit happen to me too!
Purism:
If shit has to happen, let only shit happen.
Minimalism:
Shit.
Procrastinationism:
I'll take care of this shit ... tomorrow.
Avoidanceism:
With all this happening, I think I'll go shit.
Repressionism:
I'll hold this shit in forever.
Stoicism:
This shit happening is good for me.
So Shit happens, Big deal. I can take it.
Optimism:
Shit will never happen.
Pessimism:
One of these days, shit will happen.
Fatalism:
Oh shit, it's going to happen!
Meliorism:
Shit is happening now, but will soon cease to happen.
Nihilism:
Let's blow this shit up!
No shit.
Determinism:
Obviously, that shit was bound to happen to you.
Empiricism:
Prove that shit!
Epistemology:
How do you know that shit?
Pragmatism:
Deal with one shit at a time.
How can I put this shit to use?
Skepticism:
Nope. I will not be convinced that shit is happening.
Fascism:
Shit won't happen if we kill everybody that's different.
Anarchism:
We are allowed to shit when we want.
We are allowed to shit where we want.
We should be allowed to shit what we want.
Vandalism:
Break all the shit you can.
Hooliganism:
Raise all the shit you can.
Fetishism:
I love it when shit happens.
Coprophilia:
噹 that shit.
Hitchhikerism:
The answer to all shit is 42.
Nonsequiturism:
Sure, maybe shit happens, but Route 176 goes south.
Mesmerism:
You are getting sleepy...soon Shit will not happen...
Cannibalism:
Don't eat the shit.
Vegetarianism:
If it happens to shit, don't eat it.
Spoonerism:
Hit shappens.
Aneurism:
Shit, my head hurts!
Dyslexia:
Tihs happens.
Phone Company:
322. Because Shit happens.
Murphyism:
Shit will happen, at the worst possible time, and in the worst possible way.
Divorcism:
She's full of shit!
He's fooling around with some worthless piece of shit.
... but Judge, you can't give her all that shit!
Anthropomorphism:
Shit Happens to God, too.
lol oh man, I remember that shit! One of my favorites.
This poster is pretty sweet, too. Would not mind it hanging on my wall 8)
