zelgadis123 wrote...
Being far after reading all the responses, I asked my wife about why she hates me watching porn and she said it was okay to put some of what she said here. So here we go.....
She told me that she hates it b/c it lowers general cultural standards. She said that the magazines at the grocery stand catered to women are borderline pornographic in the stuff they write about, and she blamed it on the normalization of porn.
She told me that she has trouble unconsciously and consciously of accepting her sexual flaws in world where standards of women are increasingly being determined by the unrealistic and flawed depiction of women in porn.
She told me she is insecure that the stuff we are doing isn't really private, that "lovemaking" is just turning into sex. That the characteristics of our moments together, is degraded or cheapened due to me watching porn.
I see what she is talking about. I mean when her friends come over, I am really afraid of what they are going to talk about. I know that her friends and her are pretty explicit, and even "pornographic" describing their love life. I don't personally don't want my wife comparing...just like how she is "displeased" when she catches me with porn
For the sake of not getting into fights and giving her space, I never pry into conversions. But So yeah, I don't think porn as significant problem on the individual level, but i do see how internet revolution driven by porn is profoundly changing sexual and cultural standards. Whether that change is a negative, positive or little bit of both is why we have debate and must keep open minds.
I can understand your wife's concerns, and they are probably valid in a lot of cases, I just don't think that they work as generalizations. Personally, I realize porn is in the realm of fantasy and fiction, and that even in real porn, the people are not real. I don't expect real women to be like pornstars, and I don't expect real sex to be like in porn. It's like watching a violent action film. They aren't real people, and the situations in the film are not my life.
I fear, though, that maybe most people don't make such clear distinctions. For personal reasons, I separate all fact and fiction very clearly in my own mind, and I don't expect everyone to do so as deliberately as I do, but I like to hope that most people can at least tell the difference.
I like to hope...