Trying to move on
0
This will be rambling.
There's a girl, I've known her for more then a year now, who I have been and still am, head over heels for.
She, well doesn't seem to share my feelings.
She knows how I feel, never said she didn't like me back but even a fool with aspergers (which I have, to make matters worse) can see she doesn't return my feelings.
She has her own problems upstairs, which make her very similar to me and I always felt I understood her and perhaps she understands me, though the more I think about it, the more it seems she probably couldn't care less about me.
I am just there, there was others there before me, who liked her and though I am more attractive then them, I am still with fault and... Well I am not what she wants.
I don't really know what she wants, relationship wise, or partner wise, she isn't exactly open in that area and refused to ever discuss when I tried talking about the whole feelings thing.
So I gave up.
I know she seems to at least enjoy my company somewhat, whenever I stop texting (and asking her to hang out) she will always come back eventually and ask me to hang out. Then grow distant again and stop answering me. So I go silent and she comes back.
Maybe she's stringing me along, but for what purpose I couldn't say, she doesn't vent her feelings to me nor does she ever want me buying her anything.
Not sure what she gets out of it, besides my sadness.
I wanted to make her birthday really special this year, she's turning 30 (I'll be 30 next year). She doesn't seem to want me anywhere near that, it was hard getting her out on her last one.
It hurts, it hurts to think about her, it hurts to be around her. But sometimes, it makes me happy to think about her, to be around her.
And it's a constant flip flop with that, with her, with everything involved.
She creeped my facebook profile for reasons she never said, maybe to spy on me because she was angry at the time about my doll's confederate flag.
Maybe she somehow followed me here lol.
Then be angry I talked about her, she's like the globalists I joke about lol.
As much as I can say I love her, and would love to spend the rest of my life with her, another part of me wishes I never met her, because I have been sad over this a long time and I don't deal well with such heavy feelings.
In spite of everything, I don't know how to move on and let go of her.
Let go of that stupid idea it will still happen, because I don't see how in any scenario it could, both with who I am and with who she is.
There's a girl, I've known her for more then a year now, who I have been and still am, head over heels for.
She, well doesn't seem to share my feelings.
She knows how I feel, never said she didn't like me back but even a fool with aspergers (which I have, to make matters worse) can see she doesn't return my feelings.
She has her own problems upstairs, which make her very similar to me and I always felt I understood her and perhaps she understands me, though the more I think about it, the more it seems she probably couldn't care less about me.
I am just there, there was others there before me, who liked her and though I am more attractive then them, I am still with fault and... Well I am not what she wants.
I don't really know what she wants, relationship wise, or partner wise, she isn't exactly open in that area and refused to ever discuss when I tried talking about the whole feelings thing.
So I gave up.
I know she seems to at least enjoy my company somewhat, whenever I stop texting (and asking her to hang out) she will always come back eventually and ask me to hang out. Then grow distant again and stop answering me. So I go silent and she comes back.
Maybe she's stringing me along, but for what purpose I couldn't say, she doesn't vent her feelings to me nor does she ever want me buying her anything.
Not sure what she gets out of it, besides my sadness.
I wanted to make her birthday really special this year, she's turning 30 (I'll be 30 next year). She doesn't seem to want me anywhere near that, it was hard getting her out on her last one.
It hurts, it hurts to think about her, it hurts to be around her. But sometimes, it makes me happy to think about her, to be around her.
And it's a constant flip flop with that, with her, with everything involved.
She creeped my facebook profile for reasons she never said, maybe to spy on me because she was angry at the time about my doll's confederate flag.
Maybe she somehow followed me here lol.
Then be angry I talked about her, she's like the globalists I joke about lol.
As much as I can say I love her, and would love to spend the rest of my life with her, another part of me wishes I never met her, because I have been sad over this a long time and I don't deal well with such heavy feelings.
In spite of everything, I don't know how to move on and let go of her.
Let go of that stupid idea it will still happen, because I don't see how in any scenario it could, both with who I am and with who she is.