Zombies and You: What's your plan?

Zombies. One of these days, whether you chose to believe it or not, they will be everywhere. Be it from a viral infection, some ancient plague released thanks to a careless archeological dig, or perhaps some dark force not from this world able to summon them en masse, we will have to deal with it!

So how would you deal with the imminent zombie menace? What weapons would be your companion, and why? Do you have a general strategy of survival? Discuss.



I like swords, so I would be sure to have at least a couple, plus some knives on me. Best benefit? Infinite Ammo! Biggest drawback? Very...very close range.

The idea is to stay on the move. Bunker in for the night in empty houses and move during the day; zombies are easiest to spot in the light and less likely to get you from behind. Meeting up with other people is something that is very essential, but keep them at an arms length. You never know who has already been infected and is too much of a jackass to simply admit it, not to mention, even when the entire world is enduring an Apocalypse, there are always a couple of idiots who want to somehow cash in on it and will betray you in some manner.

In conclusion, carry a big sword, keep moving, and never trust anyone. With that main philosophy you can probably outlive whatever went wrong, that is, if it is one of those things that will eventually end naturally. Would kinda suck if the zombies were eternal.

Sword on my side, Shotgun in hand, pistol on my other side and I'll go to a dealership and steal a hummer and some gas tanks.

Wasn't there a thread exactly like this one some time ago?

Good choice for a car, it is probably the number one zombie killer next to the modified automobile Ash used in Army of Darkness. Sure, something like a bulldozer or another piece of heavy machinery would cause more damage and also allow for the traversal of more difficult terrain, but the lack of speed and the greater need for fuel make such things rather inefficient, wouldn't you say?

Plus you get points for picking the shotgun; it is the most classic of all anti-zombie weapons, able to cause the most beautiful of gory splatters. Gotta love it!


No idea, and I admit its my fault for not checking. Hopefully nobody minds a little additional zombie banter.

Knife in pocket , Pistol in holster , Automatic Rifle in hands , and a First Aid Kit. Plan? Meet at a secured area filled with immune suriviors. Left 4 Dead much?

Maybe this is the "other thread" you were talking about. https://www.fakku.net/viewtopic.php?t=10805&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=zombie&start=0

I would call the hotline number on the back of a bottle of Worcestershire sauce for assistance.

That's always going to be my plan.

Seems like it's already pretty thorough on the subject. That said, we can easily shift the focus of the topic around a bit.

For instance, since everyone already has a plan for survival, what would you do if you were on the opposite side of the war?

Undead are taking over the earth and you have to deal with these clearly well armed survivors, so what role would you play to bring them to an untimely end?

There's always the option of just becoming a regular zombie in the horde and advance in large numbers; as long as you aren't the idiot up front, you most likely won't get shot before reaching your way to the humans and sinking your teeth into their flesh. Then again, if it is a war of the undead, why go zombie at all? Studies show that alot of people would prefer to be a skelton to a zombie; less surface area to attack, almost completely immune to arrows (Since you run into so many wackos with a bow these days), agile and able to think and move almost like a regular person, despite the complete lack of a brain or ...you know, muscles.

Well, when you start talking about things like skeletons, you start getting into necromancy and the like. And while zombies, by a considerable stretch of the imagination, can be made to seem possible (i.e. by some sort of virus or something), reanimated skeletons and the like are entirely in the world of magics and shit. We might as well take "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" to be an actual threat, and concern ourselves with the alignment of the stars.

You are most certainly correct in your assumptions that skeletons are the least likely of our problems. That said, do we face any other threat besides Zombies? If we take RE movies as a reference, should we be just as concerned over something like this?



Or is the very idea of it impossible?

The concept isn't completely impossible. The concept being genetic manipulation. But for it to be exactly like it is in the movies isn't likely. And for it to be on such a large scale is unlikely.
But as I've said, you can never be TOO prepared.

I'd first grab any weapon I have; Blunt or otherwise.

I'd than hop into our truck, run over any unfortunate zombies that happent to get in the way, and head to the Wal-Mart about 2 minutes from us. After such, I'd take what survivors I could, border it up, and make that a base of operations for the time being. After that would be left to what most people consider "fate".

Blunt weapon? Really? I think that although the familiar feel and ease of use to something like a baseball bat is nice, it does have a few significant flaws. Most notably, it will break easily and you need quite a bit of strength in order to do the damage. I still have to commend you though for helping the survivors. Remember to board up the garden center, that's where they'll come through first.

Depends. A metal bat can do quiet a bit of damage, and it's relatively light. I have a wooden sword too, so that'll do some nice damage, it's light, and won't break easily. A pipe or something works well too, which I have. Firearms have there own flaws. One example;

A pistol will run out of ammo. A nice iron pipe won't.

As for survivors; I'm a softy at heart. I couldn't let someone die if I know I could help it.

And of course I'd border that up first. I'd have plans for that place. I wouldn't want it taken over. :3

Fair enough, just be careful and never drop your weapon. If you are dealing with smart zombies, you probably don't want them to get a hold of your bat. Be careful around your survivors though, they are hard to trust...

Also, if we are dealing with a virus of some sort, there is always the possibility that humans aren't the only thing affected. Way too often, harmless plants turn into something much more frightening. ...Well, not that frightening, there is only so much you can do to a plant. I'm guess at worst they might become poisonous or something. There's little chance they'll grow tentacles and....wait, that's another thread.

Well I'd make sure the zombies were placed in strategic places to cause the world governments to collapse but leave intact those things essential to rebuild my own new society after I release the zombie killing plague I made in advance.

What? This is a plan right? Therefore I'm obviously on the side that caused the zombies in the first place.

So zombies are pretty much just there to kill of key figures and generally terrorize the populace, after which you take away their threat by killing them off and advocate yourself to the throne of your own regime? Interesting, but you lose all of your threat once you kill off the zombies. I mean, can you remake them afterwards, or would the remains of this zombie killing plague forever deny their future existance? The moment someone figures that out you'd be in trouble. Also, it seems like it would be hard to use zombies in such a tactical-strike sorta way, they are a bit too unpredictable for that. Unless, of course, we resort to magical means of control again, and as we have all agreed, that's just poppycock.

Of course, you would have to be in a position to control them.

Pfft you make it sound like I don't have minions to do that for me.

@tsuyoshiro: Well zombies would obviously only be stage one of the plan for world domination. Also I don't really care if I make making more zombies impossible. People will already have figured out how to deal with zombies anyway. It'd be better to pull some different sort of unholy atrocity out of my hat the next time.

Minions are only so dependable.

Also, they can't be war crimes if there isn't anyone else around to judge you.

Which brings us to the main flaw of the zombie apocalypse. If caused on purpose, what could the ultimate goal possibly be? Unless you are quite the avid necrophiliac, you probably don't want to have to deal with the zombies forever, and at some point they have to be gotten rid of. Anyone who created a method to create them was probably smart enough to remove them too, but that sort of thing usually comes at a heavy price, i.e. all humans dead or sick, flora/fauna damaged beyond repair. Can one really use zombies effectively to achieve ones goals and still have something worthwhile left to rule over? Then again, some people enjoy being the king of some strange wasteland, just read Psyren for that confirmation. Speaking of which, they also had an interesting way to make strange creatures in that one.