How do you deal...

its very surreal when a familiar face and the person behind it are wiped clear from the face of the earth. its a very empty, lonely thing to get used to. to be honest i havent had to many devastating loses in my family in my 20 years of existence but its bound to happen soon. my condolences on your loss nightclock, i wont riddle you with cliches like a good amount tend to do. bmage is on the ball though, remember them for who and what they were to you. cope the way your most comfortable with and move on, as rikku from final fantasy x says:

"memories are nice, but thats all they are."

when she said that at the entrance of the farplane it really stuck. dont break yourself apart thinking what could have or might have been, appreciate what you had.

All my grandparents are dead, most recent was the grandfather whom I was closest to, it was 2 years ago, he was living a miserable life in a retirement home being abused by those who worked there (which i only found out after he died)I felt and still do feel really guilty that I did not spend enough time with him, I have my whole life ahead of me and I didn't bother to stay with him for a few days and try to relieve some of his suffering.

I had a lot of my own problems at the time with both my parents suffering from mental illness and debts piling up, but that is no excuse and does not help ease my conscience.....I just remember crying at his funeral and thinking how ironic it was that I didn't care enough for him in life but now I was weeping for his loss.

It is a terrible pain to lose someone close to you, you have my sympathy.

No friends or relatives close by you can commiserate with? That would help a lot I think. Also, try to remember the good times you had with your grandpa. Think about the good times you had together in life and don't dwell on the death as much.