How would you react if your trust was misplaced?

On the 14th of december I have taken part in a class council.
Since I am the class representative I tried to discuss with the teachers about the issues that my classmates had asked me to solve.
(Nominally:They said that they have issues with the english lesson,
they said that it is too hard to understand.)

Too bad that the english teacher left after mere two minutes of council....
So I had to discuss about all of the problems with teachers that had nothing to do with english...
Some days have passed,and today something rather unpleasant happend.

It was the last hour of lesson,the english teacher entered the classrom and started to rant things such as "who dares to complain about my lessons?",so I responded:
"many students lamented about them"
and her: "Is that so?...then I want the names!"....
Suddnly,all went silent...
Those cowards of my classmates left me alone,
after THEY asked me for help!
I had to sit through an entire hour of stupid complains because of them.
How would you react if this happened to you?

(p.s:I am currently attending a school in Italy,where english is really,REALLY,explained badly...We never speak it,we have just to learn short texts and never actually use it....)

I would never trust my classmates enough to actually believe they would go against a teacher in the first place. People are so good at complaining and wanting things to improve but when the actual issue is taken up they just hide behind others. I experienced this a lot during my time as class representative too. Well it is not that I hated them for it since it is normal not wanting the blame. tbh I did feel a bit annoyed and frustrated but I never expected them to speak up so it didn't hit me that hard.

I guess you're right,but it still sucks.

I thought that at least someone would have lived up to its promises....But nooooo,not in the slightest,what's worst is that someone actually said "no one ever complained"....
Like,Really?...REALLY?
Usually I don't give too much weight to such trifles,but the lack of honesty makes me really sad.

Well, I can understand your side, but I too doubt anyone would speak up when the teacher reacts this aggressively. A sane teacher who would actually discuss things in a civil manner? Sure, I'd expect a few students to speak up and possibly the situation to even improve thanks to this. But the teacher's reaction in this case was probably enough to make anyone fear retribution, should they dare to speak their mind.

Well,I dared to!
And even if it will bring me trouble,honestly,I don't give a damn.

The problem with my school is that no one ever speaks up,
the problems are far more than a lousy english teacher...
For instance:there are more than 300 students in my school,and less than 5 working bathrooms!(that's HORROR during breaks)
And of course,there is neither soap nor toilet paper...
One must bring it from home...of course....
And that's not all...
during rainfalls,some classes become worst than pools,with mud that flows from under the doors....(the students aren't quite happy about that).

You could think "well,that's because they haven't got no money!",
But you would be wrong,because just last yeat,my province gave my school more than 35000 euro (roughly 43581 dollars) to fix the issues,and guess what?....They bought new computers!
I bet that they will be sooo useful when the entire building will be drenched.

Once I asked a caretaker for explanations and she told me
"you must not ask questions"....

...I'm sorry if I am going a bit out of topic,but I just felt the need to share my frustration with someone...

Congrats, you are learning why the world sucks. It is better to learn now, since adults are way worst.

I've had my trust broken many times at this point and I've been put in fucked up situations most of my life. You can do one of two things about it; 1) bitch and cry that the world is fucked up and lead an angry life or 2) accept it and bitch when you need to/work around it

I know I was nearly kicked out of college a couple of times due to some students during a group class and the whole majority vs minority sort of thing with a teacher. Luckily I was able to bullshit my way out of that and got through college (the teacher later on wrote me a beautiful letter of recommendation). Sure it was fucked up and left me with a few mental scars, but that's life and you just have to remember to look out for yourself. I know I want to make changes when/where I can, but if you have no power to back you up, opening your mouth won't do jack shit.

I would say just get over this and let it slide, you are not in a position to change anything. You don't want to make your school experience any more difficult on you then need be because believe me when you put a target on your back you may find yourself in a position that you can't get out of. I went through two years of hell thanks to my big mouth and the whole wrong place at the wrong time (-_-;)

as jwub4 said, the world is fucked up so you learn to live in it and deal with it the best you can. You may at some point be able to work the system to some extent, but you need to have the influence/power to back it up which takes time and sometimes dirty dealings lol.

Sage.

Anyway, you can trust, but consider there's always a chance you'll get disappointed. In order to not get badly hurt, try to not blindly trust anything, 99% is fine, but don't blindly trust. By that way you'll learn with the time in who you can trust and on what you can trust to that person. A good way to learn that is considering "what's important for that person?", well, their own welfare is the basic unless there is friendship and blah, blah, blah.

Note: Never surrender! If things aren't working properly, still push things in the correct direction. It can and will be frustrating, hard and you'll feel from time at time a profound hopeless, but it's the unique way to improve the world.

You might be surprised about the amount of people who prefer to live a beautiful lie over the cruel truth. Well you can think of it as a defense mechanism to protect yourself to deny. Although of course it sucks! I know it might be upsetting but at some point in life you just accept some people are weak minded and don't like to stand up for their own statements. But it sure is frustrating when getting back stabbed and the fact that someone saying "no one ever complained" I think I would have been immature and just went with a stupid response like "fine, no one complained then lets just forget all this, and if you guys ever feel like complaining you can take it up with the teacher yourself, seems like my work isn't needed" of course not the best way around it but if I first get annoyed I don't want to bother and care anymore lol

Well that sucks for you. I am sorry to hear that. Now I will answer your question.

I went to a boarding school for my high school, and my roommate during my sophomore year was a pessimistic guy that had a depression. One night when we were both in bed trying to go to sleep, he said this to me: "Life really sucks. Think about it, we work so hard everyday the moment we are born. We are mostly surrounded by hardships, not happiness. Do you honestly think the small, momentary joy that we get after years of blood, sweat, and tears is worth it? I don't think so, and if I had the choice I would rather not have been born in this shit hole." After he graduated high school, he got accepted into Columbia University. I still keep in touch with him, and I can tell you that he is still unhappy and doesn't think going to Columbia University after years of hard work is worth it.

Now, why I am telling you this? Basically, my past roommate is saying that small happiness does not outweigh big sadness. However, I think the opposite. If I had a choice to place my trust on something that had 1% chance of getting placed correctly and 99% chance of getting misplaced, I would place my trust there over and over again. Sounds pretty stupid, but for me personally if a single person backs me up or returns the trust that I have given them, it's worth getting back stabbed by 99 others. In other words, if I were in your shoes I would have been pissed off and angry, but I would probably do it again in the future. Maybe next time, someone will back me up. If it doesn't happen next time, try it again after that and keep trying until that one good guy comes out. Life really does suck most of the time, but on a rare occasion when you are lucky, it's good.

*Long rant incoming*

I'm sorry, but i am having a hard time understanding your problem here. For sure i kind of understand the general point you are trying to make, your classmates asked for your help and when shit hit the fan they left you alone.

I don't know how this class council and class representative thing works in Italy, but at least here where i live the whole point of having a class representative is that individual students don't have to go separately to teachers to address larger issues (that are not personal to individuals), but like you said, issues that concern the whole class. You represent the class and therefor you discuss the bigger issues with the teachers.

Of coarse in this case the real asshole was the teacher, not your classmates. The teacher handled the situation very poorly in my opinion, asking for names, what a joke.

Besides, if this issue specifically was that English lessons were too hard to understand, maybe you should have talked about it with the English teacher and not the other teachers in the council, and even if he left in the middle of the council, raise the issue some other time.




Umm, what promises? Did your classmates promise to come to your aid if the teacher loses his shit?




Well, sounds like you went into the wrong school then i guess, and the best way to survive it has already been mentioned.

The last time that happened



The thing is I'm a really naive dude, and I tend to trust people way too easily, which is why I deal with trust issues so hard. I just get so upset at people when they lie to me or betray me and I lose my mind for a few minutes and go crazy on them. Nowadays after having to go through so much bullshit in the world, I did wise up a little bit.

The way to do it when that stuff happens is simple.
Give the names.

They betray your trust, you have the right to fuck them over.

I did so already, and I'll do it again.

^this

It is sadly a reality that if you are the frontline, you risk finding that there is no one at your back.

Then again, in your situation, you were the only one to put trust in someone. The others elected you to solve their porblems, sure, but they are small and all in all low on their priorities. They didn't trust you and would not support you because they mostly didn't care that much.

It recurrent thing. the hassle of fighting for something surpassed the potential gain and thus they lost interest.

To answer OT, if my trust is misplaced then I take note of it, and never trust the person/thing/organization completely ever again. I always plan around them. More work for me, sure, but at least there is no dire consequence next time round.

I really don't see what the problem is....Did you trust them to stand up for themselves which make you being the rep for the class pointless? In the end you should have brought up the issue alone with the teacher or even if the teacher leaves bring it up with all the other teachers and maybe they can talk to her. So to me there was only a problem with the teacher and you didn't trust her to understand from what I gather...

It's very easy, never trust completely in anyone, not even 99%, trust about a 50% and always prepare for the worst case scenario, the people who surround you are not assholes, or cowards, or whatever you wanna call them, they just have a different view of the world and that's exactly why you can't completely trust anyone.

Even when someone seems to think completely like you, odds are some of their specific values and points of view are bound to be different, you can never truly know anyone, not even yourself and that means eventually, people are bound to act in a different way that you anticipated, depending on how good you are at analizing people the number of times you get dissapointed varies, but it's always bound to happen, and all you can do is prepare for the worse and have a contingency plan.

I thank all of You for sharing with me Your opinions and views about my issue.
For those that are interested,this is what happened
In the past five days:

The day after I had the argument with the english teacher my classmates told me that we should discuss about that in a class reunion (not sure on how it is called in english),so four days have passed....

And then,yesterday.....
Instead of discussing about the issue,my class started studying for (guess what) the english test that we had to do after the two hours of reunion.....

As you could imagine,being a calm and placid person,I COMPLETLY LOST IT!
So,after I basically forced them to discuss I discovered that almost no one is really interested in learning english...Which is a shame and a disgrace.
But don't get me wrong,
It is not like I'm sad or anything....
I will learn english,they won't...
That's a good enough deal for me!



I will be ostracized for speaking my mind?
So be it,I'm already used to it...

P.s:
I know that the world is fucked up,but guess what?
I'M WAY MORE FUCKED UP THAN THE WORLD!...

You heard me,world!
We will see who will win
this epic battle of fucked-uppdnes....

For starters, misplaced trust sucks. However, a lot of the time, my reaction really depends on the person. If it's a really close friend, I give them the benefit of the doubt and ask them what happened later. They're generally always willing to explain what happened. For people that I'm friendly with, I often don't pay it much heed, since I'm not placing a huge amount of trust in them in the first place. However, what you described in OP sounds like a whole heck of a lot of trust. I'd be pretty mad with my classmates if that happened, and it might make me a bit more skittish about relying on them in the future.