I want to share something.

EpicMusicFan190 · 2016-09-16T06:23:04+00:00

I already posted this on my Facebook page, but I feel that I need to open up more about this. I was working a long shift at Taco Bell, simply hoping that it would go smoothly. I'd been hoping to ask a fellow co-worker out on a date, so I asked her what kinds of things that she does in her spare time. She replied that she hangs out with friends, goes to work, and sleeps. I didn't work up the nerve to ask her anything else. Later, as I was taking orders in the drive-thru during the lunch rush, The fact that the lobby was busy and drive-thru was insane, in addition to having very little if any help, I was starting to mentally shut down. I could barely stay composed as I took the final order. My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as a fellow employee noticed my problems and relieved me of the headset. I had to sit in the break room to catch my breath. As I tried the breathing strategies taught to me by my therapist, rather than calming down, I remembered that she (The girl I tried to ask) said she hangs out with friends. She's 18 years old, so I would imagine most of her friends are either graduated or still in high school. I'm 26 years old. How would I fit in there with high schoolers? I just realized my age, the fact that I don't feel 26, and the fact that I have no experience with dating in the slightest. That was when I began to sob uncontrollably. Because of 22 years of LDS indoctrination, in addition to my Asperger syndrome, I was hit with the stark reality that taking the doctrine seriously and rather than using my youth to participate in activities I might have enjoyed, I wasted my youth on absolute lies. made in my youth to participate in the Boy Scouts and be a good little Mormon boy. I never enjoyed the activities, and in some cases they left me traumatized and angry. It never helped that the LDS church really doesn't value intellectual pursuits or introverted personalities whatsoever. They might pay lip service to those things, but especially in the case of introverts, people are constantly forced into roles of little missionaries in which they have to constantly act friendly and upbeat, or you were considered a bad Mormon. Let's not forget the constant monitoring of 'sexual purity' by bishops. Their constant repeating of the mantra that the only type of sin worse than sexual sins was murder. So here I am, a horny teenager, told that even fantasizing was nearly the equivalent of murder. Some time after my de-conversion, I still seem to be suffering the effects of the brainwashing. My confidence only took off after leaving the church, but some of my lower self-esteem issues seem to correlate with things that feel like they stole from me. I need to get this off my chest. The leadership of the LDS church are not "seers" and they are not "prophets". They are psychopaths without a hint of guilt in what they've done to the thousands, if not millions of the people of the world suffering from their brainwashing and their deceit. After telling my mom, whom has social work experience, and my therapist, about my experiences, they've told me that my symptoms are exactly that of someone leaving a cult. I was robbed of a normal youth and had my sexual growth stunted, but all I can do is try to work with the hand I've been dealt by the troll that is life. I'll ask her out anyway, to hell with the opinions of others. Even if she turns it down, I'll have the knowledge that I've taken the first major step to moving on from my past. This will also be one of the last middle fingers to a cult that is barely more sane than Scientology. A major argument that the LDS church uses in its defense of the 'Truth' is that critics of the church are simply bitter and working for the Devil. The church claims that many critics are former members and have turned away from the 'Truth' to chase sins. With all of the lies that the church constantly tells, it has the nerve to attack the members that realized that they were lied to (and using tithe money to build a mall. Seriously, they did that). In short, they bring all of the criticism on themselves. I've got a way to go with therapy and other things to catch up with similarly aged peers (Not only in dating, but in friendships, and social circles in general), but it'll be much easier without the anchor of faith around my neck.

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Vasvasra

7 years ago

If you're serious about asking this woman out, keep something in mind.

I have Asperger's too, and I have a hard time socializing with people my age... but there's the better part of a decade between the two of you. That's not a good thing. I myself was a good five years older than everyone else in my Rocky Horror Picture Show shadowcast troupe--people were flabbergasted I was 25 at the time! But you're planning on asking her out on a date.

She's old enough to make her own choices, and 8 years between an 18-year-old and a 26-year-old isn't quite the same as, say, a 16-year-old and a 24-year-old (and let's face it: from one Asperger to another, chances are you're probably at the same emotional wavelength--not an insult, mind you). It could work out. But please note that there's still a good chance that this really could go either way. Age differences do matter, regardless of what romanticists like to claim.

EpicMusicFan190

7 years ago

I asked her, but she turned me down (she's interested in someone else). She did say that it was sweet and very brave. I've come to accept that you're right about the age difference. While I did really want to date her (I'm not just attracted to her physically, but I also love her personality), I've also come to the conclusion that I also wanted to make up for my wasted youth (which wasn't just because of LDS church doctrine, but also because of social anxiety brought on by Asperger's). I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that my youth can't come back, and it still sometimes depresses me. When I started growing out my beard, a few of my female managers asked if I was trying to attract anyone. I answered yes, but I also said (I regret being this forthright) that I have no idea what I'm doing because I've never had a girlfriend. I got depressed when one of them asked me why I didn't. I played it down a bit, but if I knew the reason, I'd probably have a companion already.

pihip

7 years ago

I'm 26 years old. How would I fit in there with high schoolers?

Just want to comment on this, because I can relate.

A couple days ago, in the same day, two completely different people who didn't know each other, when I told them my age, replied that I look 22-23 at best.

I'll be 30 next April.

Also, back when I was active as a Yu-Gi-Oh player, so for a few years from 24 to 26-27 give or take (can't remember the exact dates, my memory blows), my group was one guy a few months younger than me, and the average age of everyone else was 16-17, and I won't lie when I say I've had a ton of fun in those days.

I don't believe that being much older/younger than the rest of the group you're a part of is odd. It may be for a random observer, but if you're fine with it well, why not?

...though, to be honest, and regarding dating and relationship, I did cringe at a friend of mine who back then was almost 30 and dated a 16-year old girl (no foul play thankfully, but she WAS a minor).

killtrositykill

7 years ago

Religion can be an amazing thing. Religion can be the worst thing ever. It has the ability to draw in 90% of the entire human population with its various forms. It's fairly simple. Religion is a fantastic thing when you use it in an open way. For example: Give a kid a bible, tell him or rather encourage BUT NOT FORCE him to read it. Come back to the kid and go, "So what did ya think?" Then talk about your different opinions and work on a mutual understanding. You do that with the next person and so on and so forth.
I consider myself an atheist who is in the process of trying to find some outlet for praise and faith. The bible is a great book (-) the magic and fairy tales. I highly recommend a book Titled: Zealot it takes out the crap and gives you the good.
All religion in my opinion should be followed this way. On a solely individualistic basis. IT should be up to your interpretation. NOT some guy who went to school for 4 years and studied the book and now has the right to tell you how to interpret it. Most Religions advocate free will and yet you aren't given the free will to follow the damned thing how you want.

TLDR: Most if not all mainstream religions preach the same ideologies. Be a good person, don't steal, don't kill, don't be a lying asshat, don't cheat etc. they provide an individual with a fantastic opportunity to live their life in a positive manner. THE INSTANT you remove the individual aspect of religion it becomes the most toxic, horrible, manipulative thing on the planet that doesn't even advocate half of the things that are clearly in the text. Its brainwashing for the masses. DOWN WITH ORGANIZED RELIGION.

Holoofyoistu The Messenger

7 years ago

Family are Nazarenes, so i know how u feel... I was spared from a religious upbringing, but i know how hard it can be.

I would recommend you try online dating. Its low pressure, and allows you to revel some of you insecurities right off the bat in your profile, and find people who can relate to you.

MTFBWYA friend, and good luck :)

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