Is Chivalry Dead?

I had an epiphany today about chivalry today. I've been told plenty of times by friends, peers, and seniors that I was the one of the only chivalrous people ever met. It occurred to me that it seems like people rarely experience it on a constant basis.

I was born and raised to be respectful to everyone and anyone, no matter, race, religion, ethnicity, gender, or seniority since it's only the right thing to do. But, from my perspective, it seems that people are not that fortunate of learning the virtue of respect and humility.

So I ask you Fakku, do you guys think that chivalry is DEAD?

If so, what are the causes for it being so rare that people never experience it? Why is chivalry not taught to the newer generation?

If not, please clarify why people don't experience chivalry as often as you do? How do we go about spreading chivalry to the world?

Please, post any of your experiences of acting chivalrous, or for anyone that has been very chivalrous to you.

~Saka

I do not think chivalry is in fact dead. I think it has more-or-less evolved into a modern form of showmanship. The classic form of chivalry was a little too old fashioned for us mainly due to the rise of modern feminism.

That does not mean that I am blaming feminists for the decline in chivalry, hardly, men just do not want to make a woman feel that she has to be protected and guarded 24/7. Heck, my fiancee can be far more dangerous than I can be. I think that we just fashioned what is called Chivalry to fit the times.

i agree with what llama said, chivalry itself isnt dead, it was just modified to fit the timeframe we live in better. "chivalry" used to include protecting the women and children, and doing what was considered "right" by the morals soicety had. And yes, while protecting women and children and doing what is considered "right" by society is still a part of chivalry, i think its expanded a bit to opening doors for women, helping someone when their hurt and need help, ETC... now thats not to say i wont let a woman handle a fight with another girl, but if a guy starts picking on a girl and she cant defend herself cause most guys are twice the size of some women, i will step in and defend a woman.....

"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it" Dave Chappelle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZRflz-93JA

Personally Chivalry is not dead.

Chivalry only comes to play when a women faces a situation she cannot handle, that's when you get in a telephone booth and change into Chivalry Almighter...

This is modern times now, you see women kicking the shit out of men these days and that women support themselves. ( which is fine)

Being chivalry is the best, but never overdo it.

*If a women can do it herself then let her, that makes her believe ,you believe in her strength and that is also considered chivalry.*

Chivalry isnt just about women

If you didnt click the link these are what I'm referring to from Medieval literature



Simply put the list says

1. Be good to your fellow man
2. Be religious/Christian
3. Be good to women



I dont think chivalry is dead, its just not as obvious as it was in the past. It seems like modern society as a whole has just kind of absorbed the idea of chivalry. Most people are good to everyone which covers one and three on that list, and when someone is blatantly hostile toward any specific group its for the most part frowned upon (discrimination). So formal teaching of chivalry is kind of redundant because modern society expects most people to be nice to each other.

After saying that, the video of that girl in China getting run over a couple times comes to mind, as well as that girl (Kitty?) from the US. Not to mention war and other things like that. I just cant explain how stuff like that happens.

Actually I can (random anecdote forthcoming)



I'm going to steer away from religion because SD is full of threads about that.

Yeah, I think the same, but also it's because of the people who dismiss those actions, take the example of "holding the door open for a woman":

Look, you're supposed to be kind and courteous. That's just the deal. You don't deserve a medal. I get it, but at the same time, when I go out of my way to hold a door open for a woman, and they she don't say thank you, I go a little nuts. Hell, you she don't even really have to say thank you. Just like nod and grumble something. That's fine. But when you take a door that's being held open for you and walk through without even noticing who's done you a tiny favor, you magically transform someone's act of kindness into an act of servitude. Not only are you not saying thank you, you're saying "Hmm, very well, piss boy you may allow me to enter." Without saying a word you're discouraging future acts of kindness.

when kissing a ladies hand, your lips should not make contact.

also, when walking along a thuroughfare, the gentleman should always be between the ladie and the road. that way he can defend against splashed puddles or run away horses. a gentleman always holds a door and lets a lady go first.

on the other hand, i was dating a woman who kept picking fights in bars expecting me to do the acctual fighting. the first time the other guy was too drunk, so he went down easy. the second time i fast talked my way out. the third time she tried, i bailed while she was starting shit. turned out the guy she was mouthing off to had a pretty bad ass GF. she called me later screaming it was my fault she got her ass kicked. i have no regrets there.

and i would have told her " i hope you learned your lesson, your an idiot who picks stupid fights and expects me to always haul your ass out of the firing line, ta hell with that" i know thats not very gentlemenly like, but if a girl picks a fight she should defend herself, not be one of those stereotypical " omg save me cause im a girl, girls dont deserve to be hurt" types

I think its a dying breed where I am.
I have had and seen many times where people act ignorant toward others or even flat out not care about what is around them such as not holding a door for someone that is pretty much directly behind you, picking up something if said person has dropped it. They dont care, people just seem to think that being a complete ignorant dick is a way of life because it is such a norm in todays society, its rather pathetic really.

I do what I can to be chivalrous. I hold doors for others, be kind when I can. I even go out of my way and give my sweater to my friends if they are cold regardless of how cold it is. Its just the way I was raised and its the way a good chunk of society should act.

The very definition of chivalry means one should be good to those who "cannot help themselves" out of pity and goodness of the heart. And as that's usually applied to men doting on ladies, that sort of ruins the whole "oh this is kindness" idea when you think of its origins.

Act kind, but don't act chivalrous: you should be good to those you like out of true kindness, not pity or your belief they are unable to fend for themselves.
Random acts of kindness are far better than "chivalry" any day. I say, let the term die: it connotes one party is weaker.

i did get yelled at/lectured along those lines for holding a door once. "I don't need a man to do things for me!", and so on. at first i was confused because i hold doors for anyone. my mother beat(metaphoricly) it into me at an early age. after being smacked in the back of the head enough times, it became reflex to look over my shoulder when ever i get to a door.

I would expand upon that and say that common courtesy itself is quickly dying.

Flipping the bird and telling people to fuck off simply doesn't achieve the same effect as does helping the elderly up the stairs or giving a kid two bucks when you accidentally knock his ice cream over.

People are becoming increasingly egocentric- with the "me, Me, ME" attitude- everyone else be damned. This is especially apparent in major cities- but it's no stranger to the country folk, either.

So- yes. Chivalry is on it's way out, along with plain simple manners.

When was the last time you heard someone say "Thank you" to a waitress or whatever in which it sounded genuinely sincere?

When was the last time you wished a complete stranger on the streets to have a nice day?

When was the last time a complete and total stranger done the same to you?

As a concept; No, as long as men and women exists, a man is going to "act" chivalrous to score some skin from his potential mate. Nothing get's a girl more then throwing a coat in a puddle or acting is a sort-of-similar way to actual Chivalry.

The lifestyle is dead as a doorknob though, Won't see much knights riding around fighting wars and such. Maybe you could make a argument to it's transformation in a modern context with being a solider and such, but then again, hiding behind a tank wouldn't be considered "honorable" by your average knights standards.

I think chivalry was replaced by thick wallets and Ferraris. No longer do men have to perform meaningless acts of heroism to get in milady's pantsu.

Dead, flat-lined generations ago in my opinion, isn't coming back any time soon either.

Who needs chivalry when you have hookers and blow?

On a serious note, the notion that chivalry was popular amongst lower-class citizens during the violence and chaos of the middle ages just doesn't seem right to me. So one has to ask themselves, was it really all that alive to begin with? Chivalry is just another stage of social etiquette western society has been through over the centuries and was mainly practiced by the upper-class. We have since then moved through various new stages of social etiquette, each one relevant to the general mood of society at a given time, with each class having their own set of ceremonial rules.

When crime and corruption is prevalent in society; when it's all about me and the world is in a state of economic depression... you should probably expect people to treat each other like shit. As such, I believe we are now in a stage of social etiquette I like to call Ghetto-fabulous.

he issue regarding this topic all boils down to moral fiber. In the U.S. a vast majority of people grow up without any proper guidance from either the father( mostly) and the mother. So when one grows in an environment where women are mistreated or the women mouthing off about men it trickles down to the children who grows up not knowing to to react to certain situations. However, i feel common sense should dictate most situations. In addition, one cannot simply change who they are as a person just to accomadate customs from which they never were familiar with chivalry and it intricacies how can they regurgitate such actions in real world situations?

after reading the entirety of the thread so far, I could find no one else to quote with whom I would agree more.
the TERM Chivalry may be outdated but good manners must NEVER die.

Now I do believe the world has gotten worse when it comes to this subject, but it's not "dead". You obviously are chivalrous, or at least your told you are. I try to be whenever I can. I have come across rare individuals who happen to be the very defination of chivalrous and it makes me realize that the world might get better if more people act like them. Just something I hope for.