There is no one person (commander, officer, weapon distributor) to be blamed for the deaths that occur because of wars; it's a collaborative effort between all of them.
The weapon distributor sells dangerous supplies to people that he knows will use them to kill. If he stopped then there would be less chance for death, but he doesn't because he makes a profit.
The commander issues the orders to kill (or endanger) civilians to his soldiers. He could just as easily tell his men not to let any civilians be put in harm's way, but this can keep him from reaching his objective.
And lastly the soldier who carries out the commands. These people can say they're not responsible because they were ordered to, but they have their own minds and consciousness. Many also plead that they had to follow orders or they would be killed, but they are still able to choose if they should kill a civilian or not. The soldiers are probably put in the most difficult position since they are threatened/ordered, but still it's up to them whether or not to kill innocents.
gibbous wrote...
You cannot shed the responsibility for torture, murder, and so on; all those guilty must be punished according to the severity of their crime.
For example:
An officer orders the murder of one person, and a soldier shoots the guy, both are to be punished for one count of murder.
If said officer orders the murder of 1000 people, and each of his one thousand soldiers kills one of these 1000 people, each soldier is to be persecuted for one count of murder, and the officer for 1000 counts of murder.
This principle is to be applied to the entire chain of command, according to the degree of involvement in any crime.
Gibbous has it right with this, everyone gets punished for just what they do.