My life sure is a mess....fuck yer!
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.....I love my best friends girlfriend and she loves me back, but as shes my best friends girlfriend and im her boyfriends best friend we decided never to do anything......2 months later i still love her and i get the feeling she still loves me AND to make things even better my ex girlfriend tells me she still loves me (she moved across the planet....to australia..great isnt it?) im not sure if i still love my ex, is it possible to love 2 people...WOOOOOO my life is a fucking mess fuck yes!!!
in case one of the guys (or girls) at fakku have the infinate wisdom of god......tell me what to do
in case one of the guys (or girls) at fakku have the infinate wisdom of god......tell me what to do
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I'd tackle the ex first, since that seems to be the less complex issue at hand. Start up a conversation over the phone; email and IM's are quick and easy, but they're too casual for something like this. Voice to voice communication magnifies the sincerity of what you say. Before you do that, however, you have to ask yourself two very important questions:
- Do you still love your ex?
- If yes, are you willing to relocate or try a long-distance relationship?
If yes, then you two have a lot to talk about together. If it's a no, then you need to explain to your old flame that although you do care for her (or something to that effect), you just don't feel the same way anymore. Do not beat around the bush. I can't stress that enough. The vaguer you are, the more you run the risk of hurting her feelings more than is necessary.
Now, on to your other dilemma. Find some time to be alone with the girlfriend. You need to talk about whether or not you're willing to jeopardize your respective relationships with the best friend/boyfriend. If this is just a mutual crush, then you would both do well to keep your distance from each other until your feelings settle.
If it's something stronger and you want to pursue being a couple, you two should talk about what to do about the current boyfriend. Of course she should break up with him as soon as possible; it's not fair to him if she's leading him on when she's really got feelings for another. You'll want to hold off on dating her for a month or two- not only out of respect for your friend, but also to make sure that your relationship doesn't turn out to be a sloppy seconds rebound sort of thing. Yuck.
Hope that helped. Good luck!
tl;dr : communication is key; talk to them and see what happens
- Do you still love your ex?
- If yes, are you willing to relocate or try a long-distance relationship?
If yes, then you two have a lot to talk about together. If it's a no, then you need to explain to your old flame that although you do care for her (or something to that effect), you just don't feel the same way anymore. Do not beat around the bush. I can't stress that enough. The vaguer you are, the more you run the risk of hurting her feelings more than is necessary.
Now, on to your other dilemma. Find some time to be alone with the girlfriend. You need to talk about whether or not you're willing to jeopardize your respective relationships with the best friend/boyfriend. If this is just a mutual crush, then you would both do well to keep your distance from each other until your feelings settle.
If it's something stronger and you want to pursue being a couple, you two should talk about what to do about the current boyfriend. Of course she should break up with him as soon as possible; it's not fair to him if she's leading him on when she's really got feelings for another. You'll want to hold off on dating her for a month or two- not only out of respect for your friend, but also to make sure that your relationship doesn't turn out to be a sloppy seconds rebound sort of thing. Yuck.
Hope that helped. Good luck!
tl;dr : communication is key; talk to them and see what happens
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I hope you watched School Days. That would drill in the fact how being indecisive could kill. Life's no Ichigo 100%.
I think SiC hit most of the points there. But if I may chip something in, long-distance relationships don't work. They just don't. Stuff like trusting each other is bull in real life, especially if the two of you are on opposite sides of the globe. Believe me, I've been on the receiving end of this.
To be honest, what I'd do in your case is just not to bother with either of them. If you start dating your best friend's girlfriend, he will hate you for it, whether he's open about it or not. And I'll probably get flamed for this, but there's really more to life than boy-girl stuff (although it is a big part). I personally treasure friendships more than relationships (the latter seems to be more spontaneous and unstable). If things don't work out, move on; why risk the possibility of losing your best friend AND your new (his old) girlfriend? In any case, time is better spent elsewhere if you're going to sacrifice so much for a relationship that you're not even certain about.
In my experience, usually something better will come with time. But if you want to be, shall I say, greedy and try to go for your best friend's girlfriend (forbidden things have a habit of being unusually attractive, so there's a high chance you won't like her as much once she's with you; decide carefully!), you're almost certain to lose your best friend; you might still be friends, but he'll never forget the fact that you backstabbed him.
Conclusion: settle stuff with your ex, and stop messing around with your best friend's girlfriend. It's unhealthy.
I think SiC hit most of the points there. But if I may chip something in, long-distance relationships don't work. They just don't. Stuff like trusting each other is bull in real life, especially if the two of you are on opposite sides of the globe. Believe me, I've been on the receiving end of this.
To be honest, what I'd do in your case is just not to bother with either of them. If you start dating your best friend's girlfriend, he will hate you for it, whether he's open about it or not. And I'll probably get flamed for this, but there's really more to life than boy-girl stuff (although it is a big part). I personally treasure friendships more than relationships (the latter seems to be more spontaneous and unstable). If things don't work out, move on; why risk the possibility of losing your best friend AND your new (his old) girlfriend? In any case, time is better spent elsewhere if you're going to sacrifice so much for a relationship that you're not even certain about.
In my experience, usually something better will come with time. But if you want to be, shall I say, greedy and try to go for your best friend's girlfriend (forbidden things have a habit of being unusually attractive, so there's a high chance you won't like her as much once she's with you; decide carefully!), you're almost certain to lose your best friend; you might still be friends, but he'll never forget the fact that you backstabbed him.
Conclusion: settle stuff with your ex, and stop messing around with your best friend's girlfriend. It's unhealthy.
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don´t go after your frends girlfrend, good frends is harder to get a good frend than a girlfrend and like Raze wrote long distent relations don't work.
trust me i know, my frends girlfrend had a thing for me and that dident go that well, she nerly ruend our frendship becose of that, i dident do anything but my frend got realy irritated and jealous, and i codent be in the same room as her, and one times she tred to kiss me infront of him.
she only became his girlfrend to hangout with me becose i rejected her.
but eventurly he understood what she whas doing and dumpt her.
trust me i know, my frends girlfrend had a thing for me and that dident go that well, she nerly ruend our frendship becose of that, i dident do anything but my frend got realy irritated and jealous, and i codent be in the same room as her, and one times she tred to kiss me infront of him.
she only became his girlfrend to hangout with me becose i rejected her.
but eventurly he understood what she whas doing and dumpt her.
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If I remember correctly, you've mentioned in a previous post that you are very young, like 14 or 15 right? Don't go after either girl, you'll find plenty of others over time. Chances are either relationship would fail eventually anyway, people change a lot through their teens and into their early twenties(even into older ages for many) not to mention teen emotions change constantly, there's absolutely no way to tell whats real love and whats infatuation as a teen.
Few relationships withstand long distance for any extended period of time and it's not worth losing a good friend for a chick when that relationship will probably fail anyway(and no matter how sure you are of your feelings and whatnot, it will probably fail).
For the bottom line, there's a ton of girls out there and you'll find them over time. These two guarantee drama and will probably not work out, so don't bother with them.
edit- I know this all sounds very critical and pessimistic to the emotional and romanticizing teen mind, but it really is just being realistic. I certainly don't mean any offense or anything.
Few relationships withstand long distance for any extended period of time and it's not worth losing a good friend for a chick when that relationship will probably fail anyway(and no matter how sure you are of your feelings and whatnot, it will probably fail).
For the bottom line, there's a ton of girls out there and you'll find them over time. These two guarantee drama and will probably not work out, so don't bother with them.
edit- I know this all sounds very critical and pessimistic to the emotional and romanticizing teen mind, but it really is just being realistic. I certainly don't mean any offense or anything.
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The age thing really makes a big difference here. If you're really that young, then yeah, don't be going after your friend's girl. That's not a habit you should get into, might lead to moral decay and whatnot. My advice, go concentrate on schoolwork or your hobbies for a while to keep your mind occupied. Preferably till you're 21, out of college and gainfully employed =).
p.s. underager on adult site asking perverts for life advice? Sounds skeevy to me lol.
p.s. underager on adult site asking perverts for life advice? Sounds skeevy to me lol.
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Ok i kind of sorted things out...kind of..
Firstly the long distance relationship.....yer i decided i didn't really want that to happen, i just told her that "we should be friends, i don't want to rush into a relationship, but i don't think theres much if any chance i will 'like' you again"
Then the other problem....yer i havnt really thought of a solution to that one...YET!! i want to make everyone happy including myself, but if it comes down to it i may have to sacrifice my own happiness
On to another problem....yesterday when a group of us had a party one of the girls seemed upset..so i asked her what was wrong...she answers "Scott i think im in love with you" WTF i just walked away and went home, what am i to do now
? i dont even know this girls full name....HELP!!!!!! why the fuck is every girl i dont want to fall in love with me falling in love with me... i just wanna be happy >.< seruisly though i need fakku' help....
Firstly the long distance relationship.....yer i decided i didn't really want that to happen, i just told her that "we should be friends, i don't want to rush into a relationship, but i don't think theres much if any chance i will 'like' you again"
Then the other problem....yer i havnt really thought of a solution to that one...YET!! i want to make everyone happy including myself, but if it comes down to it i may have to sacrifice my own happiness
On to another problem....yesterday when a group of us had a party one of the girls seemed upset..so i asked her what was wrong...she answers "Scott i think im in love with you" WTF i just walked away and went home, what am i to do now
? i dont even know this girls full name....HELP!!!!!! why the fuck is every girl i dont want to fall in love with me falling in love with me... i just wanna be happy >.< seruisly though i need fakku' help....
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Spiral of love just as dangerous as the spiral of death wat to say ?? i have no ideas on this matter (cuz i havent got a tiny bit of experience from it) all i can say is GOOD LUCK !!!! WAARRRGGHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Griever wrote...
Ok i kind of sorted things out...kind of..Firstly the long distance relationship.....yer i decided i didn't really want that to happen, i just told her that "we should be friends, i don't want to rush into a relationship, but i don't think theres much if any chance i will 'like' you again"
Then the other problem....yer i havnt really thought of a solution to that one...YET!! i want to make everyone happy including myself, but if it comes down to it i may have to sacrifice my own happiness
On to another problem....yesterday when a group of us had a party one of the girls seemed upset..so i asked her what was wrong...she answers "Scott i think im in love with you" WTF i just walked away and went home, what am i to do now
? i dont even know this girls full name....HELP!!!!!! why the fuck is every girl i dont want to fall in love with me falling in love with me... i just wanna be happy >.< seruisly though i need fakku' help....
That happens to more guys than you think. I'd say, start off with getting to know her a little more before you start 'loving' her. Because if you know little-nothing about someone whats the point y'know.
Talk to her when you see her, much like how you start to know someone (i.e. a friend) and if you start to feel the same way, confess to her.
-Grim
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Oh did i forget to say...im also best friends with my best friends girlfriend (also the girl that i love...and today she hinted again that she felt the same way...i dont like it) i have quite the love triangle going on....love hina aint got nothing on me :P
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LMFAO
^ not at you, well not entirely...
Im laughing because i know all of what you are going through...and it sucks assorz, right?
Well if a chick randomly goes and says "I LOVE YOU!!", it wont last long at all...so dont even tempt it (err and if you dont really know her...i should have added that in there)...and about your bestfriend's girl, you need to first talk to your friend and then talk to your friend's chick...
FYI: talking to your bf about his girl, and telling him that you like her....he will be 120% PISSED at you, theres no way around that....but he will be even more pissed at you if you go behind his back(trust me i know -_-)...so to go to the saying 'bros before hoes' comment someone made(*cough*)...this is the adult and responsible way of doing that...
YOUR EX ON THE OTHER....caps sry...your ex on the other hand will be abit of trouble...if you havent talked to her already, it would be best just to try to stay friends with her(she moved far far away? long distance relationships NEVER work out unless you are over the age of 21 and have a well paying job -_-...and im guessing that your 15 or 16...or so says someone else in this post...)...soooooo its confusing right?
GOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Thats life kido!
But you must not take advantage of the factors that are for you(meaning if a shit load of chicks like you, do not try to sleep with them...BAD IDEA! trust me on this one -_-...i had my party days)
Welllllll, anyways....must not do long post like this or i will never get my work done -_-...gl on this pain in the ass man
(also...you shouldnt be on this site if your that young...but kids will be kids...next time don't tell someone you are that young ><...Jacob can get in ALOT of legal problems if someone important saw a post of you saying that...so just watch out alright kid?)
(And im too lazy to go back and look up names of who said what ><....sorry guys...tired and busy)
^ not at you, well not entirely...
Im laughing because i know all of what you are going through...and it sucks assorz, right?
Well if a chick randomly goes and says "I LOVE YOU!!", it wont last long at all...so dont even tempt it (err and if you dont really know her...i should have added that in there)...and about your bestfriend's girl, you need to first talk to your friend and then talk to your friend's chick...
FYI: talking to your bf about his girl, and telling him that you like her....he will be 120% PISSED at you, theres no way around that....but he will be even more pissed at you if you go behind his back(trust me i know -_-)...so to go to the saying 'bros before hoes' comment someone made(*cough*)...this is the adult and responsible way of doing that...
YOUR EX ON THE OTHER....caps sry...your ex on the other hand will be abit of trouble...if you havent talked to her already, it would be best just to try to stay friends with her(she moved far far away? long distance relationships NEVER work out unless you are over the age of 21 and have a well paying job -_-...and im guessing that your 15 or 16...or so says someone else in this post...)...soooooo its confusing right?
GOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Thats life kido!
But you must not take advantage of the factors that are for you(meaning if a shit load of chicks like you, do not try to sleep with them...BAD IDEA! trust me on this one -_-...i had my party days)
Welllllll, anyways....must not do long post like this or i will never get my work done -_-...gl on this pain in the ass man
(also...you shouldnt be on this site if your that young...but kids will be kids...next time don't tell someone you are that young ><...Jacob can get in ALOT of legal problems if someone important saw a post of you saying that...so just watch out alright kid?)
(And im too lazy to go back and look up names of who said what ><....sorry guys...tired and busy)
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Yer ok i have like told chloe (the one that dosent even know me) that i just have to much going on in my life and that theres loads of guys that want her more than me...she like ran away from me after that..
okay i think i hae already mentioned the madison situation (long distance girl) told her we should just be friends and i dont think anything could ever happen
next the best friend girlfriend thing...yer the best solution i can think of is just to ignore my feelings no matter how hard it gets.....yer that wont work but its the only thing i wanna do, you see were like a group..theres me the guy and the girl and another guy...i dont want everyone to go there seperate ways so im just gonna have to be unhappy to make everyone else happy....
okay i think i hae already mentioned the madison situation (long distance girl) told her we should just be friends and i dont think anything could ever happen
next the best friend girlfriend thing...yer the best solution i can think of is just to ignore my feelings no matter how hard it gets.....yer that wont work but its the only thing i wanna do, you see were like a group..theres me the guy and the girl and another guy...i dont want everyone to go there seperate ways so im just gonna have to be unhappy to make everyone else happy....
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Welcome to the world of adultnessesess(?)
It sucks but sometimes things are best left unsaid, no matter how much they will hurt you...So i wish you better luck in this department and im glad you can handle all of this like a responsible adult that you are(errr...will become more of as you age?...bah fuck age it all depends on your maturity and you've got alot of it kido :) ...)
GL and goodbyez
(Back to work for me...cant stay on as long as i wanted to...i have something due by the 29th -_-)
It sucks but sometimes things are best left unsaid, no matter how much they will hurt you...So i wish you better luck in this department and im glad you can handle all of this like a responsible adult that you are(errr...will become more of as you age?...bah fuck age it all depends on your maturity and you've got alot of it kido :) ...)
GL and goodbyez
(Back to work for me...cant stay on as long as i wanted to...i have something due by the 29th -_-)
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Griever wrote...
Oh did i forget to say...im also best friends with my best friends girlfriend (also the girl that i love...and today she hinted again that she felt the same way...i dont like it) i have quite the love triangle going on....love hina aint got nothing on me :PPft, screw Love Hina. Negima ftw.
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Tsujoi
Social Media Manager
Nah, don't listen to any of these people. Just run away from your problem and emerge yourself in Second Life. Or if you want to escape reality even more there's always Second Second Life.
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tsujoi wrote...
Nah, don't listen to any of these people. Just run away from your problem and emerge yourself in Second Life. Or if you want to escape reality even more there's always Second Second Life.I loled, a Second Second life would be like... Second Life within Second Life. So you have an in-game character, ignoring others and playing Second Life. Oh man. Sad.