Need help figuring things out...

I had a really bad semester this Fall. Like, my grades are expected to be A, B, D, F and F. However, I know for a fact that the fifth class that my parents pressured me into taking was the cause of my screw-up.

Basically, I was doing fine until around the middle of the semester, where I had to read the Analects of Confucius for said fifth class. If you don't know what it is, imagine someone tearing out the pages of the Bible, shuffling it randomly then gluing it back together in a big steaming mess; that's basically what that book was. In the midst of trying to make heads or tails of the blasted thing, I overlooked a take-home midterm that was assigned for one of my other classes and by the time I remembered the damn thing it was too late. Yes, I know I should have dropped the damn class the moment that it happened; yes, I know that it would have been smart to consult my parents on the matter, but I will explain why that wasn't an option later. Long story short, after that point I got miserably lost, wasn't able to pull my grades up and wound up with the two F's.

Now, last night, my parents dragged my semester grades out of me, and naturally they were livid. They scoffed at the idea that my fifth class was the root cause of my problems this semester, my mom swatted at me with a handkerchief when I told her I only enrolled in that fifth class because she guilted me into it, and now I'm being forced off the laptop until after dinner during my vacation time because my father feels that I am in need of a "drastic change in lifestyle", and that gaming is childish and that I should abandon it now even though it's what I am currently most passionate about. Also, my dad is shaving down the cable service and possibly internet speeds and my cell phone service because "none of that will help you (me) get A's in my classes".

So I have to wonder, since my parents verbally beat me down so hard last night; am I wrong in thinking that the fifth class led to my downfall? I know for sure that without that blasted class and its damn "Analects of Confucius", I would have been fine this semester, but my parents bashed that idea so hard last night that even I am beginning to doubt it now. And secondly, should I just roll over and do whatever my parents tell me to do from now on? Do I give up what I love to do, my only source of stress relief, just because they deem it a "waste of time"? I'm not even sure if I'm asking all the questions I want answered right now, I'm still kinda reeling from last night's verbal beat-down, sorry.

And as to why I can never go to my parents with my educational problems: My dad powered through college and got two Masters degrees almost simultaneously, plus he feels that he is above reproach and that he's justified in all of the asshole things he does simply because he does his job as a father. Because doing your job as a man entitles you to be a hypocrite, set up double standards and control your family with shouting, okay. As for my mother, she took seven classes per semester while she was in college and passed them all with A's and B's, so she feels like I should be able to handle 5 classes per semester or at least pass 4 classes per semester with straight A's. Plus she got a Masters degree in Library Sciences about 2-3 years ago so she likes to brag about that too. Tl;dr = My parents were machines during college and they expect me to be the same, which is why I do not feel like going to them with my educational problems since I know they'll just spew their usual spiel of "we were so amazing in college, so you should be able to handle this piddly little amount you're doing in comparison to what we did in college". Also, they're both Asian, so you know how that deal goes. It's not a stereotype, Asian parents really do put a fuckton of pressure on their kids.

I'm not sure what I want to do with this post, so I guess just reply with whatever, please try not to be rude though. Thanks.

I take the existentialistic view on this.

You are an adult and you are responsible for all your actions. Don't try to shift this responsibility onto someone else. Even if your parents 'force' you, you are still free to choose your reaction to this. So my advice to you is "Do what you want to do, but be aware that you alone bear the responsibility of your actions."

Hope this helps you somewhat, I know this is not the kindest answer one could give but this is the painfull truth.

I don't believe your wrong in thinking so, no one understands your capabilities and limitations better than yourself.



Depends on if your personal ambitions are not something you want that strongly, and if you won't regret giving up on them. While you need to make a secure place for your future, it should be a place of your choosing, since it will be you, not them, living it. (Assuming you have no dependents) This is your time to decide your future, once you have kids, it'll be difficult starting over, till they can take care of themselves.



That is up to you, if you feel it is too much that it is a distraction preventing you from achieving a person goal, shorten the time spent with it, if you can't control yourself, take a break from it. But this doesn't seem to be the case, that being said, if games are something you love, and it does not prevent you from progressing, then there is no reasonable reason to dump them, all you'd be doing is hurting yourself.



Writing it out, like you did here, is good. It'll give you an opportunity to reflect on your thoughts in a later state of mind.



Everyone is their own individual self with their own set of capabilities and limitations. Not all subjects are equal in difficulty and scope, as well, school (teachers, subject material, teaching methods) changes over time. You do not need to be the same as your parents, that is an unreasonable request that both ignores your abilities and your individuality.



(If your willing to try and speak it out with them) all you can do is, attempt to, try and express to them, that they may have been capable of what they did, but you are not them. That you want to do things the way you want to and/or feel you can do, and for them to trust you.

Your parents seem like they are they lack a lot of empathy, so all I can (assume) is that you have to force them to acknowledge "you" and not their former glory, since they don't appear to be paying attention to you, only looking at what is different between what they had and what you have as the "cause of the difference". Conveying to them that you are not them, would be how I'd personally handle it. As for how you would handle this conversation, I personally would handle it in a number of different ways depending on my partners, so I can't give you anything more exact.

Yeah I agree with both posts.

College isn't just about classes and grades, you are becoming an adult and are learning about the myriad of responsibilities and decisions that come with being an adult.

I'm still confused with why you needed to take the class, did it have something to do with your major? Also, i don't know if that class completely messed you up since you did manage a A and B in two other classes correct?

My first year in college, I was a declared Pre-med/Psychology double major and had a part-time job. The workload was tremendous for my then 17-year old self. I had no clue what time management meant and was WAY into Halo 3 online. I think you need to step away for a bit (like a day or two) go to the beach or woods or somewhere where you can be alone and figure out what it is that you want. Try to come up with reasons that justify your point of view and then confront your parents with those reason. But do so knowing that your parents will not necessariy agree with you, you may need to concede some changes to your lifestyle and if you really hate relying on your parents work your ass off in college to find a job afterwards and not rely on them any longer-allowing you to do whatever it is you want.

The two things you should try to do is reflect on yourself and see what your limitations and drives are for college. Only you can set yourself up to fail.... Or a really cruddy teacher lol. Once you sort through the big questions such as "why am I at college", "what do I wish to get outta college", "what is holding me back", "is there anything I can do or change to improve my college experience" you can start to form a plan as to how you can achieve what it is you want from this small part of your life.

With your parents, you need to calmly explain to them what it is you've reflected on and what needs to change. Listen to what they have to say (regardless of what it is) and be respectful. If they start to become combative, you just need to keep your cool and remember they just want you to do well (in their own selfish way sometimes). Remind them that you are not them, because if you try to bend to their will that will cause you to crash and burn (seen it happen to many of my college friends so I know). If you talk it out you may somehow reach a middle ground. If your parents love you (I hope they do) then they should hopefully understand. But figure some things out for yourself first and just remind them that you love/respect them (if yo do lol).

If this fails for any reason you can either push to do what your doing or if it's just truly too much to bear, break away and do your own thing. Know that this will be a tough road, but you have to decide what you want outta life and fight for it with everything you got.

Good luck to ya

i'm a freshmen in college right now and i'm happy if i just pass all my classes. sounds like your parents are going a little hard on you but i'm sure there just trying to help you. i know this is easier said then done but i would tell them that the games you play and other things you do are stress relievers and by doing them you do better in class. if they take them from you it just adds more stress to you.it's good to be a little stress out but to much can give you grey hair and make you feel really bad. so i would say that and you will try harder next time.

i hope it works out for you.

You need to focus on you studies. I was in the same boat as you, I got like, three Cs, and my parents flipped. What I did was uninstall all my games from my computer, and give all my anime and hentai to my frind down in Santa Barbra, so the only thing I could do was study. Try something like that.