Need some advice.

about 2 years ago both my parents were killed by a drunk driver.. after some major issues with a foster family, I became the legal guardian of my younger brother who is 15. i have been his guardian for about a year and a half now. About a week ago i noticed he was walking around with a slight limp, at the time i thought nothing of it beyond he more than likely did something stupid on his bike. Then last night i heard him whining in his room.. i peeked in to find him doing physical harm to himself(purely bruises as he is squemish and looses it at the sight of blood). i have yet to confront him about it, I Fear for his safety, but i am not certain what i should do.

sure i could take him to a therapist but i have a lot of issues with them from when i saw them as a child, and don't want him to be another Medication test subject. This is worrying me A lot, what do i do? I Am his guardian... but im also his brother.

though i did post it in serious, my mistake... and obviously you have never researched most therapists... 90% of them dont care they want to prescribe you medication and send you on your way. since a lot of the medication producers give the doctors financial kick backs for pushing their pills... go look into it

I think you should have posted this on the serious forum section. Anyways hmmm, has your brother shown any signs of wanting to die. I don't mean in any bad way. I mean have you noticed any odd behavior patterns from him? If there are any obvious signs, the best solution is first talk to him or try to talk to him. If he refuses, try to bring up the topic subtedly. Basically you need to show more support than you ever did. I'm speaking from personal experience. Hope this might help you in thinking on what to do.

I think you should confront your bro on this and try to keep him on the right road before he does more than what he is doing now.
Even if you get him in beleiving in religion just make sure you watch for his safety until he realizes what he is doing.
As a guardian i would do this.
As a brother i would also support him and try to help him in any way i could.
There are easy ways and the hard ways of dealing with death, the first step is to make them feel like they are not hopeless.
Just take a deep breath and you will find an answer to what you are looking for. Your a bright guy with a bright mind, use it.
Hope this helped.

Take him to a therapist. As his legal guardian, you have the right to refuse medication for him. Make sure you are there for him, and with him when need be.

Hmm, I take something like this seriously, regardless of section.

First things first, when my friend was like this, he'd deny it. You can't deny it if there's proof for it. So, what I did is noticed him hurting himself, and got the whole thing on camera. So now he can't tell me he doesn't. After that, you can just try and talk it out with him. If he's only bruising his legs, it can't be that serious, but it still needs to be taken care of. If he doesn't get over it soon, take him to a counseler or something.

I think you should consult with him about what is going on before going to a therapist first. Going straight to a therapist without hearing his side of the story first might make things worse

Thread reported. Should be moved shortly.

Anyway, you have a duty (according to law) to get him taken care of as soon as possible. If you don't fulfill this duty by enrolling him in therapy or at least getting him to a hospital, social services may take him away from you. My half-brother had the social services on his ass because his elderly father fell down the front steps when he was away at work for the second time. You have to be careful that this doesn't happen to you, because more than your fear of your brother being a medical test subject, you should worry that he'll be put in the hands of strangers without being able to receive the emotional support of his guardian and brother. I am sure he will fare much better in therapy with you looking after him.

clearing the bullshit before i move this to SD.

Well all I can say is get him therapy and be there for him.

Try proper English and not double-posting.

All I can think of at the moment is first work on your relationship with him, to make sure he accepts you. Coz otherwise the latter would be futile. Then when thats atleast ok, you can confront him about it. Be more of a listener at first and then share your thoughts, like tell him your own stories in life. Once you start ordering him around things will get... try to convince him, not force him.

once the state gets involved, nothing good is likely to happen.

i strongly disagree with any confrontation or deception. he needs to know you are on his side. the last thing you want is for him to not trust you or feel like you are attacking him.

not an expert source, but this might help you to understand, and what to ask when you do get to the professionals.


copypasted from above link:
Many people who self-harm state that it allows them to "go away" or dissociate, separating the mind from feelings that are causing anguish. This may be achieved by tricking the mind into believing that the present suffering being felt is caused by the self-harm instead of the issues they were facing previously: the physical pain therefore acts as a distraction from the original emotional pain.

wasn't a double post, i deleted some of the replies that didn't fit sd before I moved it here.

Endangerment of child. Yeah hes your brother but as his legal gaurdian you have to take care of him as a "responcible" adult. Theapry may or may not work, yes they try to pass you off and just give him meds, so choose carefully what you do. Thought nothing beats a good talk, or an ass whooping.... but then again... always keep in mind, "Do whats best for him."~

Sounds like a manga plot!

In all seriousness, I'd have to agree with the people telling you to bring him to a therapist That or you could confront him right up. But I suggest you take immediate action before any more harm comes. But at the same time make sure he actually trusts you. Remember, the longer you wait, the more deadlier it could become.

Yes good advise

Anyway it could be something about school, but most likely about your parents, do yo know his friends, as a brother you need to know these kinds of things to make sure you keep him out of danger/harm/trouble...

Thread carefully around the issue though. Do not make him feel as though he's being accused of self-inflicted pain or he might actually clamp-up. Monitor the intensity and frequency of such behaviours before actually going to a medical worker. You know, in the meantime, if you have problems trying to broach the subject, do it the subtle way by providing reading materials about dealing with death, illnesses, etc. for him to read in a non-intimidating manner. Hopefully, bibliotherapy can help him draw parallels to his own issue and find constructive ways to deal with it without even going to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Go up to him and say, "Hey, I think you should read this. I bet you can relate." At least he knows that you are aware of his problems and he might just come to you out of his own accord.

You know your brother best and how receptive he can be. The ultimate decision is yours.