Should "culture" be a legal excuse?

Alright, here is the thing, during my mother's wake, my auntie (who is Buddhist) started placing these offering and whatnot.

My mother clearly stated she wants a Christian wake/burial (she was a practicing Baptist). My other aunties and my cousins just told me to ignore it first, since that auntie of mine was with my mom in the hospital when they rushed her and thus she suffered some kind of trauma. In the end I said, okay, since they all said it was just for this time.


All of a sudden, I'm being brought here and there, told to do this and that, stuff that was clearly Buddhist. I, of course wanting to follow my mom's will, raised it.
I was given the "shut up and follow". I then brought it to my cousins, who stated "it is Chinese culture", "God, Allah and Buddha are the same", "blah blah".




So now I'm asking, is culture a legal excuse to practice another religion?

Side note if anything: My auntie is a "practicing" Buddhist AND Catholic (how is that even possible?)

Chinese culture is one of the world's oldest and most complex. Important components of Chinese culture includes literature, music, visual arts, martial arts, cuisine, etc.
Today there are 56 distinct recognized ethnic groups in China. Han Chinese are the pre-eminent ethnic group native to China and are the largest single ethnic group in the world.

Chinese culture has been long characterized by religious pluralism. The Chinese folk religion has always maintained a profound influence. Indigenous Confucianism and Taoism share aspects of being a philosophy or a religion, and neither demand exclusive adherence, resulting in a culture of tolerance and syncretism where multiple religions or belief systems are often practiced in concert, along with local customs and traditions.

Han Chinese culture has also been long influenced by Buddhism, while in recent centuries, Christianity has also gained a foothold in the population.

According to that, there is not ONE single Chinese way of dealing with things, but multiple. Considering that your mother's last wish was a Christian wake/burial, that wish should be above the religious believes of your aunties.

Culture is no excuse for knowingly ignoring someone else's believes and needs. It would be an excuse, if your aunties wouldn't know about your mother's religious believes and her last wish.

Your family's problem is more the one of inner family conflicts and ignorance than the result of different cultures.

Me coming from a Serbian orthodox culture doesn't make me ignore my husband's wishes regarding his death. His explicit wish is to be cremated and it would be very selfish of me to ignore that and do whatever I want to do, after he died.

I hope this helps you a tiny bit.

There's nothing wrong with your auntie placing Buddhist offerings and wishing your mother a passing in the Buddhist way. Although your mother did want a Christian burial, your auntie was praying for your mother in a way that, she believes, will work. Her actions are what she believes will benefit your mom the most. If she instead prayed for your mother in the Christian fashion, then she would've been uttering prayers that she believes will not be answered, and her actions would've done nothing beneficial for your mom. Your aunt is performing her actions with good intentions.

However, the "shut up and follow" attitude is terrible. Most Asian families (esp. Chinese) tend to take the belief that anything a child/the child figure/the future generation says is invalid and can be ignored. You need to do what you think is right. This could mean going along with the family, respecting your mom/'disrespecting' your relatives (this is usually the bullshit that my parents and uncles and aunts spewed to me when I was a kid) by bringing up and pressuring your relatives/arguing for a Baptist funeral like your mom requested, or steal the container that her body is in and bury it yourself.
Do what you think is right. Don't blindly obey.

Mhmm.

I'm okay with my auntie praying in her own way, but she is dragging me into doing it.

I forgot to mention something though, my aunties (they all being younger than that Buddhist auntie of mine), go with the flow so that there won't be any arguements or whatever. They also tell me that she (the Buddhist auntie) is hard headed in nature, and I should just let it go.

...

...

Let it go?

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No.

Simply because, knowing my mom, if she had the chance to magically/divinely appear in front of them, she'd argue with my auntie and that she'd be perfectly fine with that.


I WANT to.

But risking my arse and getting kicked out doesn't sound like a good plan.

Another thing I'm pissed off at is this "dream" thing wherein my mother told one of my aunties that she is hungry (she died early morning, I, was not beside her because she told me to go take my finals), and that gives them the reason to give her food.

If I remember right, it cleary states in the Bible, that once in Heaven, you do not need to worry about anything (food, etc.).

So what is this?


I'm also sorta pissed at what my cousin say that "God, Allah and Buddha are the same".

God and Allah, I accept, since they literally are the same.

Buddha..

Well, personally, I wouldn't give a fuck if my cousins did their own prayer in their own religion (some of my cousin are Hindu).

But to mess with my burial is another thing. If they fuck around with it, then if possible, I would wake up from my grave and tell them to fuck off, since I want my burial to be like what I want. It's my death wish, dammit!

Well, my grandpa died a few years back and it's true that I did some prayer in Hindu way (I asked them if I can), and I don't really care, it's cultural and he was a Hindu himself so yeah. And I have to admit that I have a little bit of Hindu within my blood.

But when it comes to "forcing" you to pray the way your auntie wants you to, it's wrong. I mean, if you are not forced and you are willing to do it, then that's fine.

My point is, it comes back to the people, if you are willing to do it then that's fine, if you are not then culture is no excuse. Doing anything by force is never a good thing after all.

No offence to you and your auntie but, how the fuck is it possible to practice Buddism and Catholic in the same time? It's indecisive!

Well, God and Allah are the same, but Buddha's just an Indian prince who's reached enlightenment.

It's entirely possible to follow the teachings of Jesus and Buddha simultaneously. Their lessons actually coincide pretty well.

Culture is a tradition of a race,while religion is God-made.(There are some religions that is man-made like Buddha itself)
It's not good to interfere divine revelations with cultural traditions.

Joker, we had this discussion before. It is NOT proven whether God exists or not, so you can NOT claim with 100% certainty that any religion is God made.

As a matter of fact however, religion can be part of a culture, so you cannot exclude that aspect from a culture. Just as religion shapes culture, one could argue that cultures shaped religion.

It would depend on where you live and how the law is there and how/where your mother stated how she wanted her remains to be dealt with, regarding the question if it's a legal excuse.

Religion was created by man and for man, but it was never created by God.

HEY LET'S IGNORE THE WISHES AND FEELINGS OF THE DEAD PERSON AND THE FAMILY AND TELL PEOPLE TO SHUT UP AND NOT TO QUESTION

Your aunt is a shitty buddhist.

It.. deeply bothers me that your mother's last wish was ignored. "Tradition" should never be an excuse for anything. Simply because something has been, doesn't mean it should be. It's one thing to disagree with someone's beliefs. But this.. this just seems wrong in so many ways. It's.. so overwhelmingly disrespectful. Our dearly departed should be honored in the ways they feel is best.

As per your actual question. "Culture being an excuse to practice another religion", I am unsure how to answer it as it only makes sense when placed in the context of your story.

All religions are the same in principle, different in effect. The principle being, that there's a higher power/place and you seek to become one with this "enlightened being" to become one with enlightenment. Now, here's the interesting thing: The Far East/Asians were actually among the first to practice the art of spirituality and understood the concept of a higher power. But they knew that enlightenment does not come from a individual enlightened entity unto others, but rather we enlighten ourselves. One could, say be a Christian or a Catholic and could he reach enlightenment? Sure, whose to say he couldn't. But in accordance with Spiritual Truth, you yourself go through your own individual path for enlightenment. Neither Jesus nor Buddha can bring you there. They themselves went there on their own, without the "help" of 'God'.

Depending upon the country that you live in, you may or may not be entitled to the rights to pray as you please/to engage in the religion that you please. If the country you live in, doesn't have the structure to protect those rights, tough shit. And even then, is it really worth it going through the lawsuits and what have you? Especially when you'll reach Enlightenment ten times faster through self-development than by leaning on the ledge called "god". And that is, assuming that 'god' from this higher heaven will reach you or even want to reach you in the first place.

Just for those asking what country I'm from:

Philippines.