Virgins being raped -- Still virgins?

hmm, after reading through your first post and the post where you posted about your "experience" ill try to put out my opinions too if it helps:

On the topic of rape, as sad as it sounds, a girl who got raped has physically lost her virginity to whoever raped her. The girl may try to emotionally comfort herself by saying she is still a virgin at heart, that is up to each individual person to decide. But in all seriousness, I believe that is the way it is, which is why I find "rape" to be a very distasteful thing even though i do "fantasize" about it occasionally (where fantasy is NOT reality).

About your molestation however, I believe TMS did make a good point with "getting over it". I'm not sure how the situation happened considering you were "molested" by someone "you thought you liked" (somewhat contradictory, but yea), but be glad it was nothing more than mere "touching". It could have been alot worse than that, and though molesting may be a big deal for some, its seriously nothing at all for most as it does not damage any part of the victim aside from emotionally (which can be healed depending on whether or not you are willing to).

My 6 year old sister had enough courage to admit she was being molested and seek help, why the fuck can't a supposedly adult woman?

I believe emotions are running pretty high in this thread. The topic of rape is still a sensitive issue to quite a number of people, especially those who have suffered from the act, as well as that of their friends and family members. I would like to remind members to phrase their replies in a manner which will not offend others.

Otherwise, I may be left with no choice but to delete posts or lock the entire topic.

You said that it was young girls who did this to your sister. While I do not know the exact ages of these girls, I can only assume they are children from your wording. Tattling on kids, and seeking help from the police to a violent grown man are two complete different things. It would be possible that the cops would have to investigate before they did anything due to faulty justice systems, making it so that he could easily do something drastic to her before anything was done.

I don't know. People are different. why can't alot of women go to battered women's shelters or press charges against abusive boyfriends/husbands (Yumeko-chan, not referring to you, just a general example)?

Point is she is plainly still sensitive about what she went through and you were being disrespectful of her.

I also dont believe TMS means the molestation is your fault, the 3 years it took for it to be stopped was. You can't blame anyone for inaction but yourself.

This is exactly what I meant. If someone was siphoning money from my bank account every month, and I was completely aware of this but allowed it to go on for three years, I would be the one at fault when I was poor and without a home.

Social Services was called early on (I was still a minor in the beginning), but nothing was done. It stopped for a brief period, then started up again. And Mom knew about it. She left me to deal with it myself. Only way it ended was that my aunt, who was visiting from out-of-state, threatened to call the cops on him. After he left I tried to just put it out of mind, but this year being ten years since it started, certain memories are coming back that I would've just rather left buried.

So yeah, it's a sensitive topic for me. And sadly, I'm not the first or last girl to get molested. And yeah, I wish Mom would've helped me out more. But I can't do anything about that now. All I can do is rely on my b/f to help me move forward as best as I can.

Or you could have simply called the police. Using a phone to dial 3 numbers is not that difficult.

hmm well, whats past is past, we cannot turn back time to change things, so there is no point for us talking about it too. Whats best for now, is that you try to recover from it. As bad as it may seem, i do not think it is a majorly horrible experience to be traumatized about it, most especially since it already is over and everything is fine.

All that matters now is your willpower.

it really is a matter of personal strength. Courage isn't something everyone has an abundance of so mustering enough to report someone is hard, but it's still a matter of doing something yourself to stop whatever is being done. Sure your mother should have helped but dont blame her for it, there's probably a few things going on in the background which made her fail as an individual as well.

To be true, Dad was paralyzed and bedridden, so she certainly had her hands full with taking care of him full-time. (I should also mention my "ex" was living with us, partly to help out with Dad, so there really was no way of avoiding him.)

As for not dialing "the three numbers," after the Social Services incident Mom wouldn't stop ranting about how "humiliating" it was and that it was making her come off as a bad mom. She ordered me not to talk to "that counselor" (the one I'd been telling this stuff to) again. Basically shamed me into not asking anyone for help. So yes, it is partly my fault that it went on for so long. However, I shan't be a girl of inaction for long. I have full intent of pressing charges against him soon. I'm sick of being scared. And I also can't stand the thought that he might be hurting some other naive teenager.

He'd originally left under the guise of us "both needing time to grow." It was only after he left I learned about my aunt threatening. Well, I've grown, and it's time to do something.

goodstuff, hope it works out in your favor, just be careful... people are most dangerous when backed into a corner. Be sure to have the full support of the law and a few family members(like your aunt) in that case.

One thing I was always afraid of was his temper. In the beginning, I thought gee, he never gets mad, so I bet when he does he gets Really Mad, and sure enough he'd get this thundering voice that you could hear through the whole house. He never hit me, and I even dared him to and he'd refuse, knowing I'd go and show other people the resulting bruises if he did.

Two of the main witnesses (my dad and my older brother) have passed, but I'd have my mom on my side (if she'd be willing to talk -- she did like him...), my little brother, my aunt, my former SIL...dunno if Grandma knows anything but I'm sure she'd be willing... My b/f certainly would. And if my "ex" wanted to try anything my b/f has a whole collection of old military rifles at his disposal... Doesn't stop me from being a bit wary though.

hey, this is not a trivia matter like losing yr lunch money. it has a traumatic effect on victims of rape and molestations for years.

One of my homegal was molested and even 10-15 years later, the nightmare still reoccur from time to time. on top of that, because of that incident, she is apprehensive towards guys; some how she cannot blend well with a group of gals & guys e.g. she talks more often to girls, unless necessary, then guys & cannot hold a 1-1 conversation with guys without pulling out asap..

but she has been going for some counseling and went to healing groups and it helps overcome her fears.

@yumeko -chan: Im no doctor but pls seek professional opinion before taking up any suggestion seriously.

[s]

I've been trying to search out free legal advice but it seems like all the sites I find are for defense attorneys...go fig =P

Well, from reading this topic, I've discovered the forum jerk.

Anyways, Since Rape is a serious topic, I'll have to remain serious

If a Virgin is raped, it is their own choice whether they consider themselves a virgin or not. If they believe virginity is a state of mind, they are still a virgin, if it's a state of physical being, then they are not. It's their own opinion on the matter, Virginity (In my opinion) is simply a state of mind. It's lost to your sexual partner, but not necessarily lost from the breaking of the hymen.

~Link1438...
Knowledgeable-ism incorporated?