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A random short story

3
Silence of the Yanderes
10 years ago
Yeah, I was bored so I decided to write a quick story. I thought I would share it with you. And it is very short.

Contains: Yuri, Tsundere, Tragedy

Enjoy

Spoiler:
Kagami walked down the street, satchel bag slung over her shoulder. As she ambled towards school, her thoughts wandered to Konata. Had she forgotten to do her homework again? Or rather, just not bothered to do it. Probably not. I guess she'll just ask for my help again. An involuntary smile spread across her face.

"Kagami!"

"Eh?" Kagami spun round to face Konata, quickly hiding her smile. "K-Konata. Hey."

"Mmm? Kagami seems flustered, could it be that you were thinking of someone you like?"

Kagami blushed, hard. "N-No, that's not it!" She folded her arms and looked away. "I was actually just thinking about you, and you surprised me."

"Oh-ho! So I am the one who Kagami likes? That's a surprise," Kagami's face deepened in colour, and she looked down, "Hehe. Kidding. Kagami could never like a perverted Otaku like me, eh?"

"That's not it," Kagami said, her voice nearly inaudible, "It's not like I hate you or anything."

"Eh? You don't hate me? Wel, obviously. We're friends after all!" Konata replied cheerfully.

"KONATA YOU IDIOT!" she yelled, before turning to run off to school with her head hung low and tears in her eyes.

"KAGAMI WAIT! STOP!" Konata shouted after her, but the words fell on deaf ears. Kagami blocked out her voice, and the voices of the others around her telling her to stop. She didn't even her the screech of the cars brakes. All she felt was a sharp pain lash down the side of her body, and her world went black...
0
Xenon FAKKU Writer
10 years ago
Proficient in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Only thing I would change is the all-caps speak. An exclamation mark gets the point across of yelling. Otherwise, a nice trope of the classic tsun-dere attitude. Perhaps the ending was abruptly final, but you did say it was a short short story, after all. Nice.
0
DatYuriThough Goddess of Nature
10 years ago
Considering that you wrote this in like half an hour while also finishing an illustration and being sat next to me (You know how much of a distraction I can be)? It's pretty good. Then again that's purely from a quality of writing perspective, from an aesthetic perspective: You made me sad. Remind me never to ask you to write stuff for me in the future otherwise I'll probably fall into a spiral of depression.
1
Silence of the Yanderes
10 years ago
Xenon wrote...
Proficient in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Only thing I would change is the all-caps speak. An exclamation mark gets the point across of yelling. Otherwise, a nice trope of the classic tsun-dere attitude. Perhaps the ending was abruptly final, but you did say it was a short short story, after all. Nice.


Thanks for the feedback.

I made it short because I was in an hour long break, and I knew if I didn't finish the story in that time I would probably never go back to it. And since I was telling DatYuriThough that she should kill off all the main characters in her story, I thought I should show her how it's done.

But you never know, maybe sometime in the future I'll get bored and write a sequel!
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DatYuriThough Goddess of Nature
10 years ago
Oh a sequel...how would that go? Ghost-Yuri? Whatever. I'm not killing all of my characters off, I get too attached... :'(
0
JimmyThePlayBoy
10 years ago
still waiting for rape.
sigh, BILL DA FITTA-KUN, EVERY GOOD STORY CONTAINS RAPE!
0
Silence of the Yanderes
10 years ago
JimmyThePlayBoy wrote...
still waiting for rape.
sigh, BILL DA FITTA-KUN, EVERY GOOD STORY CONTAINS RAPE!


That's for the sequel.

If I put all the good stuff in the first part, I won't have anything left for part 2!
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