Alone
0
Alone, that’s what my life is. I’m alone in this world. Day in and day out I see people. People just like me, but they do not see me. I want to scream “Look at me!” But my voice goes away when I try. I feel so alone, I just want someone to notice me. Why? Why will you not notice me? LOOK AT ME!
I just want someone to acknowledge me. Make me feel like there is someone there. Someone who will say I know you are there. Maybe if I pulled a gun out, and shot someone they will notice me. No, that is a bad idea. I want to be loved, not feared. This is driving me mad.
“Hello” it’s just a simple word, a simple acknowledgment, to my existence. Why oh why will you not give it to me? WHY?! Maybe it because you don’t like me, that’s it you do not like me. You think I’m nothing, or maybe I should just say it to you. Every day I see you. Every day I want to say something to you. Every day I watch you. You just look right past me, like I’m not there.
I like you, but I don’t even know your name. I like you but you don’t even know I exist. One day, I will say those fateful words. I can hope that day will come, that fateful day I hope you will accept me. Accept my love.
God I’m such an idiot. You do not know who I am yet I ramble on and on, my mind goes blank to the world when you are near. Why can’t I just say it? Why can’t I just say hello. Why can’t you acknowledge me? Why will you not acknowledge me?
No, today I will say it, today I will profess myself. Today I will say it. Today I will pour my heart forth. I will make you see that I exist. You are sitting there looking off into space, right past me, it’s driving me mad. I don’t even know your name, yet every day I see you. Every day I watch you, yet you say nothing you do not acknowledge me. Today I break this silence, and void. Today I tell you “I love you.” “Excuse me,” I hear her say. “But what did you just say to me?”
“I said I love you,” I breathed, my heart soaring through the clouds. “Every day I’ve watched you, every day I’ve seen you. I’ve studied you. I’ve wanted to say something for so long. I love you!”
Her reaction is not one I wanted to see. One I’ve never seen on her before. A horrified look, a look that says to me †˜Get away from me.’ “You’re a pathetic sack of shit, you sick fuck!”
“I love you and you…” I start as I pull a small revolver from my back side, as a look of horrible apprehension dawns on her face and people near scream in terror. “You reject me.” I cry as I turn the gun towards myself. The cold barrel pressed against my temple. “Goodbye.”
My final word before I pull the trigger. A look of horror and sadness fills her face, as I squeeze the trigger. It all happened so fast yet to me it took an eternity, the people around me screaming as a loud bang filled the air and the hot metal hitting my head pricing the skin, cracking the bone. Whoever said you will feel no pain when you shoot yourself in the head, does not know what they speak of, and then everything goes dark. Everything around me goes dark. I search for light, any light. Light to guide me. I find a light, that I must follow my soul tells me, to my final resting place.
A forest full of trees covered in dusky foliage, their limbs gnarled and tapered. A forest where no light is permitted, there is no path for me to follow, I search for my way, the barbs and thorns of the forest stick at me constantly. There are others, ill begotten, cut and mutilated, by their own hand. Each of them holes in their heads and thick black rings around there necks, suicides each and every one.
It dawned on me where I am. I have been sent to the eternal forest of Suicides. I dammed myself to this fate. I’ll suffer for eternity, for a moment of truth. I am alone, I have always been alone. And for eternity I shall remain alone as I stand rooted to this spot turning to another tree, in the forest of Suicides.
I just want someone to acknowledge me. Make me feel like there is someone there. Someone who will say I know you are there. Maybe if I pulled a gun out, and shot someone they will notice me. No, that is a bad idea. I want to be loved, not feared. This is driving me mad.
“Hello” it’s just a simple word, a simple acknowledgment, to my existence. Why oh why will you not give it to me? WHY?! Maybe it because you don’t like me, that’s it you do not like me. You think I’m nothing, or maybe I should just say it to you. Every day I see you. Every day I want to say something to you. Every day I watch you. You just look right past me, like I’m not there.
I like you, but I don’t even know your name. I like you but you don’t even know I exist. One day, I will say those fateful words. I can hope that day will come, that fateful day I hope you will accept me. Accept my love.
God I’m such an idiot. You do not know who I am yet I ramble on and on, my mind goes blank to the world when you are near. Why can’t I just say it? Why can’t I just say hello. Why can’t you acknowledge me? Why will you not acknowledge me?
No, today I will say it, today I will profess myself. Today I will say it. Today I will pour my heart forth. I will make you see that I exist. You are sitting there looking off into space, right past me, it’s driving me mad. I don’t even know your name, yet every day I see you. Every day I watch you, yet you say nothing you do not acknowledge me. Today I break this silence, and void. Today I tell you “I love you.” “Excuse me,” I hear her say. “But what did you just say to me?”
“I said I love you,” I breathed, my heart soaring through the clouds. “Every day I’ve watched you, every day I’ve seen you. I’ve studied you. I’ve wanted to say something for so long. I love you!”
Her reaction is not one I wanted to see. One I’ve never seen on her before. A horrified look, a look that says to me †˜Get away from me.’ “You’re a pathetic sack of shit, you sick fuck!”
“I love you and you…” I start as I pull a small revolver from my back side, as a look of horrible apprehension dawns on her face and people near scream in terror. “You reject me.” I cry as I turn the gun towards myself. The cold barrel pressed against my temple. “Goodbye.”
My final word before I pull the trigger. A look of horror and sadness fills her face, as I squeeze the trigger. It all happened so fast yet to me it took an eternity, the people around me screaming as a loud bang filled the air and the hot metal hitting my head pricing the skin, cracking the bone. Whoever said you will feel no pain when you shoot yourself in the head, does not know what they speak of, and then everything goes dark. Everything around me goes dark. I search for light, any light. Light to guide me. I find a light, that I must follow my soul tells me, to my final resting place.
A forest full of trees covered in dusky foliage, their limbs gnarled and tapered. A forest where no light is permitted, there is no path for me to follow, I search for my way, the barbs and thorns of the forest stick at me constantly. There are others, ill begotten, cut and mutilated, by their own hand. Each of them holes in their heads and thick black rings around there necks, suicides each and every one.
It dawned on me where I am. I have been sent to the eternal forest of Suicides. I dammed myself to this fate. I’ll suffer for eternity, for a moment of truth. I am alone, I have always been alone. And for eternity I shall remain alone as I stand rooted to this spot turning to another tree, in the forest of Suicides.