An Unnamed Prototype
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So I never let anyone ever read my writing because, I'm pretty sure they will hate them, so this being the internet and I'm more or less anonymous, I'm going to throw this out there, tell me what you think but be constructive. I normally don't write things like this, hence the "Prototype" but I was thinking of finishing it, I'll see what you all think.
The brisk air in northern Beijing didn’t bother him, not in all of his airborne gear. Private Neil Winzer, of the 101st airborne, was normally not bothered by whether, being born and raised in Nevada, where it was always hot, but he was rather annoyed being stuck in a tree.
General Kinsman decided to launch the entire 101st airborne into China after the Red Army was repelled from Alaska and California in 2017, he saw that as the greatest opportunity to counter attack. The Americans launched a naval attack from the United Korean Republic, onto China’s soil. American forces were also deployed from India and Kazakhstan. As brutal the fighting was, by 2020, the American forces had pushed inland further than expected, and he, along with an entire division of the United States Army expert fighting forces, jumped out of aircraft, determined on taking the capital.
“Friar”, as he was commonly known as after an incident with an electric fence and urination, was thinking of how to get out of his predicament. He looked down and saw the ground wasn’t much more than two, maybe three meters down, and he also scanned the area for any Chinese troops. It was odd to him, he was virtually the only person here, even though there was a full blown assault going on, then again, it’s not to odd being the first, and the last man out of the aircraft before getting hit by an anti-aircraft missile. He had always hated being alone, and he worked better with a team, and some friends. Pressing the thought into the back of his mind, Winzer prepared himself to undo his harness. Neil grabbed the buckles and counted, “one… two… three…” he stopped himself, “ok, ok, one more time” he thought aloud, “one… two…” the bushes behind his tree crunched, and Neil accidentally ripped off the harness, he let out a sharp yelp and hit the ground with a dull thump. The Private landed on his feet, fell over and landed on his face. He sat up low, rolled his head around his shoulders, rubbed tha back of his head for comfort. He soon remembered the crunching scrambling to his feet, he nervously clutched his rifle
“Texas!’ Neil whispered harshly, hoping it was a friendly. He swept the muzzle of his rifle in the general direction of the noise.
“Sucks!” An unknown soldier replied. The challenge incorrectly, but as common as the joke was, it was correct, and he followed by three men crept from the bushes towards Friar.
The brisk air in northern Beijing didn’t bother him, not in all of his airborne gear. Private Neil Winzer, of the 101st airborne, was normally not bothered by whether, being born and raised in Nevada, where it was always hot, but he was rather annoyed being stuck in a tree.
General Kinsman decided to launch the entire 101st airborne into China after the Red Army was repelled from Alaska and California in 2017, he saw that as the greatest opportunity to counter attack. The Americans launched a naval attack from the United Korean Republic, onto China’s soil. American forces were also deployed from India and Kazakhstan. As brutal the fighting was, by 2020, the American forces had pushed inland further than expected, and he, along with an entire division of the United States Army expert fighting forces, jumped out of aircraft, determined on taking the capital.
“Friar”, as he was commonly known as after an incident with an electric fence and urination, was thinking of how to get out of his predicament. He looked down and saw the ground wasn’t much more than two, maybe three meters down, and he also scanned the area for any Chinese troops. It was odd to him, he was virtually the only person here, even though there was a full blown assault going on, then again, it’s not to odd being the first, and the last man out of the aircraft before getting hit by an anti-aircraft missile. He had always hated being alone, and he worked better with a team, and some friends. Pressing the thought into the back of his mind, Winzer prepared himself to undo his harness. Neil grabbed the buckles and counted, “one… two… three…” he stopped himself, “ok, ok, one more time” he thought aloud, “one… two…” the bushes behind his tree crunched, and Neil accidentally ripped off the harness, he let out a sharp yelp and hit the ground with a dull thump. The Private landed on his feet, fell over and landed on his face. He sat up low, rolled his head around his shoulders, rubbed tha back of his head for comfort. He soon remembered the crunching scrambling to his feet, he nervously clutched his rifle
“Texas!’ Neil whispered harshly, hoping it was a friendly. He swept the muzzle of his rifle in the general direction of the noise.
“Sucks!” An unknown soldier replied. The challenge incorrectly, but as common as the joke was, it was correct, and he followed by three men crept from the bushes towards Friar.
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
An interesting one shot, and not too bad of an attempt. Aside from a few misplaced commas and a misspelling, it's a pretty nice first couple paragraphs to a potentially good story.