I haven't read it yet, but I will get to it in the very near future. I just want to say for now that your text is all smashed together, and that makes it very annoying to read.
Edit: I read up through the paragraph where the narrator passes by the old ladies on the street.
Not many will probably remember . . . I can only imagine not many would remember
If you're repeating information like this so close together, then there's a better way to write it.
A day just like any other . . . But that was very unlikely you would ever encounter a file that big in this day and age.
This giant block of text could easily be broken down into two if not three separate paragraphs. While keeping things together can make it less choppy, don't forget about pacing. People love white space and hate walls of words.
Seven years ago the government funded a project to build service towers throughout the city so no matter where you went in this city one wouldn't be without internet.
This story is being framed as someone telling it to an audience, right? If that's the case, consider who that audience is. If it's another person living in the same city for instance, I find it hard to believe that they would not know about these towers and need an explanation about them.
I'm not saying you shouldn't exclude this information, but try to come up with a more natural excuse for it to be presented to the reader.
The towers also served a secondary function as it allowed users of the Rift to enter another mode that this technology could incorporate which was unique to this piece of machinery and that was the Virtual dive.
You're dumping an awful lot of info on us for the first chapter. It's an interesting aspect of the world, but you don't want to overwhelm readers. You might want to hold off on some of this. Ask yourself if you really need to know it to have a good grasp of the story. Is it pertinent to what will happen soon?
The very first of it's kind VMMORPG in which one could experience playing an online role playing game in real time.
You keep saying 'in real time.' I'd be careful with that. It's a common phrase today that most people already have a meaning associated with, and I don't think the way you're using it in the story so far fits with what people think it means.
I hasten my steps through the crowded city streets and a smile soon spreads across my face as I could no longer wait to get home.
Make sure everything is in the same tense. Switching back and forth between past and present can be off-putting.
Honestly, I stopped reading where I did because I was bored, mainly for the reasons I give above. You have a cool idea for a story, even if it's very similar to SAO. I'd like to see it done in a way that's actually good. One thing you did that I liked was in the very first paragraph, we're already starting to get a sense of who the main character is, which is really important. If readers can't form a connection with the characters a story is about, then why would they bother reading it?
I will also say that despite all the things I pointed out, I don't think you're writing is bad. It's not the best, but it's not bad either.
I don't know when I'll get around to finishing the chapter. This is turning into a busy week for me, but I do intend to finish it. I know that some stories can take time before they pick up.