Twas the night before fapping, I stared with a smirk,
Not a person was posting, not even a lurk.
My nads were hung using porn with care,
In hopes that St Jacob soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While a running Pedo-bear danced in their heads.
And mamma loudly orgasmin’, and I with my fap,
Had just settled our brains for a long WINTER IS COMING nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a thud,
I sprang from the chair to zip up my manhood.
Alas from the screen I flew like a flash,
Pants thrown open and shot out a blast.
Splashback on my the breast as I shouted “Oh!”
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my worried eyes should appear,
But a miniature horsehead, and forum mods at rear.
With a proud horsey man, such a lustful cherub,
I knew in a moment it must St Jacob.
Swift as a coursing river his sperm did came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Demolisher! now, Ejaculate! now, Johnny and Dickenson!
On, Magnum! On, Spermy! On top of children, women, and President Nixon!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now cum away! Cum away! Cum away all!"
As a virgin’s first time cum like a drill into the heavens,
When you meet with angels, cum into their ears- until they deafen.
So up to the house-top the sperm did flew,
With the website full of porn, and St Jacob too.
And then, in a shout, I heard on the roof
The shlicking and fapping of every little oompf.
As my head shrunk, and was receding now,
Down the chimney St Jacob came with a bound.
He was dressed nothing, bare his head to his foot,
Except for that horsehead, but he was blackened with soot.
A takoban of hentai he had spewed from his mouth,
And he looked like a molester, his hands heading south.
His smegma it glistened! the sheen hair how hairy!
His enigma of a penis like a rose, his balls like a cherry!
His black hole of a genitals was currently eating a ho ho ho,
Her screams like children with Michael Jackson, no! no! no!.
The stump for a foot worn down with use,
And blood pooled around from domestic abuse.
He had a creepy face and a twinkle in his eye,
Before he entered me and I shouted, "oh my!"
Before I knew it, a Christmas helping of tentacle rape,
Though I wanted to scream, he closed my mouth with some tape
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the holes (wtf plural?), then ejaculated a splirk.
He heaved a heavy sigh and rose to the top,
Gave me dirty look as the sirens came, he hopped!
He sprang to his rape van, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, †˜ere he drove out of sight,
"You've been a naughty boy. I'll see you next year bitch. PEACE"
