[before I smack 'anyone gullible enough to think this is about me' over the head with a wrench, let me say....IT ISN'T! Now that .....that's outta the way.....read on]
CONFESSION OF A LOSER
Say what you can now
I have lost all I can, how?
I strain under a furrowed brow
wonder how it has got me now
stress is unclean, my face is so obscene
and I try to find the answers, but they are unseen
the answers everyone spits in a pile of lies between
between this and then, between smooth and unclean
I've tried to change, tried to cut out my weakness
I have attempted the unthinkable, tried to ignore such bleakness
can I mirror the fates of a forgotten realm, of such meekness?
I will smash that mirror into pieces, all comes back to weakness
I rotate this metal weapon in my hand
but this is too fast, amidst the air I will stand
stand suspended by some wirey twine choking my glands
the chair will fall, my death slow, no longer will life be bland
is there anything that I can do?
it seems not, I have no skills to prove
no abilities to harness, nobody to approve
my death will be silent, a fly will not move
the ripples I will cast in the water around me, nonexistant
my last words only I will hear, this knowledge is persistant
let me go, I shall plunge into a dark, cold melancholy existance
I will force myself, my body will follow my determined persistance
I have a way with words, of this I have been told
my way of words let both my marriages unfold
and to the flashes of camera's I've been sold
my life is clouded, my intentions so bold
will you place memoribilia at my grave?
will you linger, by my side will you stay?
my hunger for you, a hunger I can't stave
yet you left me anyway, through you I misbehave
so now I am here, and now my story has been written
I'll wrap this rope around myself, this is the final time I'm smitten
no more will someone pass me on the street, with grief I'd be stricken
I'll hear nothing from you, I tell you fiercly this is my decision
not that you care, not that you'll know, you left me
yes, when I needed you the most, so then please let me be
I want to leave this damp cave of distaste, so that I may see
I want to float in comforting dark cloud, and do this endlessly
the times I filled you up with my seed
the times you said together we'd always be
the times I held you happily and sighed
the times you buried your face in my chest and cried
....its' over now....
[END]