[Contest Entry 2011] Of Hot Chocolate and Secret Santa's
1
“It’s getting close to that time of year.” David spoke out, catching his friends Chris and Luke off from their original topic; David wasn’t paying attention at all.
“You mean Christmas?” Chris questioned curiously. “I don’t see how getting a gift from a cute girl is a bad thing.”
Receiving a gift from a girl wasn’t the problem, it was more like this holiday season that bothered him, he was no Grinch; David simply knew absolutely nothing about Christmas itself. He knew the story of Christ from a school play many years ago, one his atheist parents were reluctant for him not to be a part of, and the addition of a fat jolly man in red confused the hell out of him even more; was the holiday season about gifts or the birth of some prophet who changed the world?
“No it’s nothing like that at all.” David answered, puzzled and too shy to admit his curiosity and confusion at the holiday season. This small town surely made a big deal over the festivities and this school was no exception. Everyone here loved the season, so much so that the entire student body held a school wide event dubbed †˜Secret Santa’ in celebration of winter break. Every girl would thoughtfully wrap a gift in one of three color wrapping paper and hand them to a boy they like. It goes without saying that the wrapping paper was important; with white being neutral and common, green more on the line of friendship, and red’s meaning being… quite the obvious, it was no surprise girls made a big deal over it. The event was often in the afternoon to not disrupt classes but that did not stop girls from doing what was needed; as a bystander David did not understand the attachment and simply shrugged the event entirely.
“I’m freezing my nuts off! Let’s go inside before Mr. Layton chews us out again.” Luke spoke out and hopped off the railing at the front of their school. Following his example, David and Chris simply followed behind with Chris doing most of the talking.
“I’m all warmed up as it is anyways. The thought of a cute girl handing me a gift simply warms me up.” Chris answered, excited about today the most. “I can’t wait! Oh thank you Morgan Freeman for this lovely and opportune time of year!”
“For the last time just because Morgan Freeman played †˜God’ in a movie does not mean you can worship the man . And who would want to give the most eccentric moron of this school a gift for being annoying as hell?” Luke spat out annoyed.
“I can hope! Maybe it’ll turn out like those Christmas short stories on Fakku. This year spring comes for me!!!” Chris was often the most excited about these things and it did no justice that the previous year he received nothing.
Stepping into class, English literature, most of the students within were surrounding the front corner of the room like hungry wolves cornering a tiny mouse. Something had caught their attention; an air of excitement filled the crowd. In that general area was his seat, top left beside the window and in the way of the crowd. “What’s going on?”
Catching their attention, the girls opened their jaws and pointed to him. “Cover him!” one demanded and the others followed. In moments David was mobbed by a sea of estrogen, three girls holding his arms down while girl from behind covered his eyes with a cloth before releasing him. †˜What was that for? Some sort of secret society initiation?’ Staying silent he heard the girls step back a few paces and the room quiet, even his friends did not answer. Soon the sound of a single pair of footsteps cautiously approached him followed by a soft mutter that was too quiet that even the whispers around him were louder.
“[size=10]Um… h… Please…[/h]” the voice mustered in a soft and feminine tone, her voice shaking. Standing in silence for her to continue David instead received a small wrapped box in his hands before he heard feet storming out of the class.
“She ran away…” one of the girls muttered while the rest silently applauded her bravery. Taking off the blind fold, Chris grabbed him in a hold and cheered in disbelief. “I can’t believe you! What did she give you?” Chris asked eagerly, his right hand reaching out to the red bound box but was denied by Luke.
“Let him open it.” It was certainly a first for David and instinctively Luke held Chris back for David to freely to examine the red wrapped box. Within moments he tore through the paper and began to open the box slowly. Within were half a dozen bite sized chocolates in the shape of Christmas trees, the kind only made by a chocolatier for the season, and beneath that was a post-it note in gorgeous handwriting.
“What’s it say David?” Luke cut in while David silently read the contents and folded the note, looking away with a flustered face.
“It’s nothing at all.” David answered and took his seat, ignoring the babble from the rest of the class. All this was simply alien to him; the note, this event, even this holiday, it all vexed him with confusion as the written words came to life in thought. †˜Meet me in the garden after school.’
School came to an end, signaling the start of Secret Santa. David witnessed his classmates receiving gifts of varying colors and each with different reactions. Like any guy, he was happy to receive such a gift, the chocolate was simply delightfully sweet; but the thought of his rendezvous made him nervous as both curiosity and unanswered questions got the better of him; he simply had to know who this girl was and hastily made his way to the garden.
Sitting down David patiently waited out the time, minutes ticked on by and most students had long left the school grounds or were finishing up the event, David however was too nervous and anxious to notice of course. At first he thought it was just a friendly gift but the red wrapping paper convinced him otherwise. If it was a confession of love it would certainly make his palms sweat to just reply honestly. The final thought was perhaps the most depressing for him and hoped it was not the answer; that this was all a joke for someone’s entertainment.
The 7th period bell rang, signaling an end of all activities and with it his anonymous Cinderella came with her head steaming of hot sweat, her heavy breathing catching his attention. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
David did not recognize the girl but something about her shifting petite figure felt all too familiar. The fact David did not recognize the girl disappointed him greatly; dirty blonde hair with the tips curled like springs, fresh peach skin, and shining emerald eyes, this girl was dictionary definition †˜cute’. David snapped himself out from his trance after realizing the silence and focused. “You called me here?”
The girl stiffened like a startled kitten, shifting around nervously with her cheeks tinted in red and her eyes avoiding his gaze. Closing her eyes as if bracing herself, she released a stream of words too fast for him to comprehend. “WILLYOUGOOUTWITHME!”
He knew not what possessed her, but it was her sudden spouting that made him remember. Each year a certain chocolate shop sold hot chocolate outside and one such year he bought a cup not for himself but for the shivering and shy girl behind the stand. He could never forget her nervous stare and the sudden shout of gratitude that deafened his ears.
“You’re… that girl from the Chocolate shop near my place.” He spoke out, her face lit up for a mere second and disappeared as she returned placid again.
“Yes… Would you… please… [size=10]go out with… me?[/h]” she whispered shyly.
There came his answer. This girl, his reason for distress, had confessed to him in the chilling cold with dusk settling in the west and he knew not if it was relief or her bravado that caused him to chuckle and laugh; he meant no offense at all but he still could not help but laugh after his worries simply vanished.
“I’m sorry… I was just relieved that I was not duped.” He said as he calmed himself, his laugh dissipating. Smiling, David held his head high and looked into her emerald eyes with clear intent. He still did not know what the holiday season meant to him and neither did he care. He was simply satisfied with this moment in life that had just occurred, needing no other answer than her flushed face and those unexpected words she confessed.
“Let’s go… It’s a good night for hot chocolate.”
“You mean Christmas?” Chris questioned curiously. “I don’t see how getting a gift from a cute girl is a bad thing.”
Receiving a gift from a girl wasn’t the problem, it was more like this holiday season that bothered him, he was no Grinch; David simply knew absolutely nothing about Christmas itself. He knew the story of Christ from a school play many years ago, one his atheist parents were reluctant for him not to be a part of, and the addition of a fat jolly man in red confused the hell out of him even more; was the holiday season about gifts or the birth of some prophet who changed the world?
“No it’s nothing like that at all.” David answered, puzzled and too shy to admit his curiosity and confusion at the holiday season. This small town surely made a big deal over the festivities and this school was no exception. Everyone here loved the season, so much so that the entire student body held a school wide event dubbed †˜Secret Santa’ in celebration of winter break. Every girl would thoughtfully wrap a gift in one of three color wrapping paper and hand them to a boy they like. It goes without saying that the wrapping paper was important; with white being neutral and common, green more on the line of friendship, and red’s meaning being… quite the obvious, it was no surprise girls made a big deal over it. The event was often in the afternoon to not disrupt classes but that did not stop girls from doing what was needed; as a bystander David did not understand the attachment and simply shrugged the event entirely.
“I’m freezing my nuts off! Let’s go inside before Mr. Layton chews us out again.” Luke spoke out and hopped off the railing at the front of their school. Following his example, David and Chris simply followed behind with Chris doing most of the talking.
“I’m all warmed up as it is anyways. The thought of a cute girl handing me a gift simply warms me up.” Chris answered, excited about today the most. “I can’t wait! Oh thank you Morgan Freeman for this lovely and opportune time of year!”
“For the last time just because Morgan Freeman played †˜God’ in a movie does not mean you can worship the man . And who would want to give the most eccentric moron of this school a gift for being annoying as hell?” Luke spat out annoyed.
“I can hope! Maybe it’ll turn out like those Christmas short stories on Fakku. This year spring comes for me!!!” Chris was often the most excited about these things and it did no justice that the previous year he received nothing.
Stepping into class, English literature, most of the students within were surrounding the front corner of the room like hungry wolves cornering a tiny mouse. Something had caught their attention; an air of excitement filled the crowd. In that general area was his seat, top left beside the window and in the way of the crowd. “What’s going on?”
Catching their attention, the girls opened their jaws and pointed to him. “Cover him!” one demanded and the others followed. In moments David was mobbed by a sea of estrogen, three girls holding his arms down while girl from behind covered his eyes with a cloth before releasing him. †˜What was that for? Some sort of secret society initiation?’ Staying silent he heard the girls step back a few paces and the room quiet, even his friends did not answer. Soon the sound of a single pair of footsteps cautiously approached him followed by a soft mutter that was too quiet that even the whispers around him were louder.
“[size=10]Um… h… Please…[/h]” the voice mustered in a soft and feminine tone, her voice shaking. Standing in silence for her to continue David instead received a small wrapped box in his hands before he heard feet storming out of the class.
“She ran away…” one of the girls muttered while the rest silently applauded her bravery. Taking off the blind fold, Chris grabbed him in a hold and cheered in disbelief. “I can’t believe you! What did she give you?” Chris asked eagerly, his right hand reaching out to the red bound box but was denied by Luke.
“Let him open it.” It was certainly a first for David and instinctively Luke held Chris back for David to freely to examine the red wrapped box. Within moments he tore through the paper and began to open the box slowly. Within were half a dozen bite sized chocolates in the shape of Christmas trees, the kind only made by a chocolatier for the season, and beneath that was a post-it note in gorgeous handwriting.
“What’s it say David?” Luke cut in while David silently read the contents and folded the note, looking away with a flustered face.
“It’s nothing at all.” David answered and took his seat, ignoring the babble from the rest of the class. All this was simply alien to him; the note, this event, even this holiday, it all vexed him with confusion as the written words came to life in thought. †˜Meet me in the garden after school.’
School came to an end, signaling the start of Secret Santa. David witnessed his classmates receiving gifts of varying colors and each with different reactions. Like any guy, he was happy to receive such a gift, the chocolate was simply delightfully sweet; but the thought of his rendezvous made him nervous as both curiosity and unanswered questions got the better of him; he simply had to know who this girl was and hastily made his way to the garden.
Sitting down David patiently waited out the time, minutes ticked on by and most students had long left the school grounds or were finishing up the event, David however was too nervous and anxious to notice of course. At first he thought it was just a friendly gift but the red wrapping paper convinced him otherwise. If it was a confession of love it would certainly make his palms sweat to just reply honestly. The final thought was perhaps the most depressing for him and hoped it was not the answer; that this was all a joke for someone’s entertainment.
The 7th period bell rang, signaling an end of all activities and with it his anonymous Cinderella came with her head steaming of hot sweat, her heavy breathing catching his attention. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
David did not recognize the girl but something about her shifting petite figure felt all too familiar. The fact David did not recognize the girl disappointed him greatly; dirty blonde hair with the tips curled like springs, fresh peach skin, and shining emerald eyes, this girl was dictionary definition †˜cute’. David snapped himself out from his trance after realizing the silence and focused. “You called me here?”
The girl stiffened like a startled kitten, shifting around nervously with her cheeks tinted in red and her eyes avoiding his gaze. Closing her eyes as if bracing herself, she released a stream of words too fast for him to comprehend. “WILLYOUGOOUTWITHME!”
He knew not what possessed her, but it was her sudden spouting that made him remember. Each year a certain chocolate shop sold hot chocolate outside and one such year he bought a cup not for himself but for the shivering and shy girl behind the stand. He could never forget her nervous stare and the sudden shout of gratitude that deafened his ears.
“You’re… that girl from the Chocolate shop near my place.” He spoke out, her face lit up for a mere second and disappeared as she returned placid again.
“Yes… Would you… please… [size=10]go out with… me?[/h]” she whispered shyly.
There came his answer. This girl, his reason for distress, had confessed to him in the chilling cold with dusk settling in the west and he knew not if it was relief or her bravado that caused him to chuckle and laugh; he meant no offense at all but he still could not help but laugh after his worries simply vanished.
“I’m sorry… I was just relieved that I was not duped.” He said as he calmed himself, his laugh dissipating. Smiling, David held his head high and looked into her emerald eyes with clear intent. He still did not know what the holiday season meant to him and neither did he care. He was simply satisfied with this moment in life that had just occurred, needing no other answer than her flushed face and those unexpected words she confessed.
“Let’s go… It’s a good night for hot chocolate.”
0
Wow. This was good. You cut it really close, with 1499 words, but I'm impressed. There were a few punctuation errors here and there, with some minor grammar problems. Overall, it was a great piece.
0
This is well written and reads like the plot of an anime show.
The plot point where you tell us how the protagonist knows the girl feels a little bit like an ass pull but overall only serves to make the story sweeter in the end.
The plot point where you tell us how the protagonist knows the girl feels a little bit like an ass pull but overall only serves to make the story sweeter in the end.
0
This was an idea I had in mind before, but with the cap I definitely had trouble doing the story. When I started I had around 3698 words so I put a lot on the chopping block so I apologize for not properly telling the story. If I get around to it I'll post a second piece for this, a prelude to this one :3
I would like to thank those for reading and enjoying it. I don't expect to win. In y ind I already won in a certain sense ^^ Finally getting the courage to post this for fun.
I would like to thank those for reading and enjoying it. I don't expect to win. In y ind I already won in a certain sense ^^ Finally getting the courage to post this for fun.
0
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
This is probably the only story that really bugs me. While a very sweet story, I cant help but think about the setting of the story. I feel like this is a middle school or at best highschool setting. This contrasts with the protagonist's kind of matured mindset where he's not really freaking out about being called by a girl, but more concerned if this was a joke.
It's well written, no doubt! Plus you had to cut down on your 3k+ words, and I know how that feels >.>.
It's well written, no doubt! Plus you had to cut down on your 3k+ words, and I know how that feels >.>.
0
xninebreaker wrote...
This is probably the only story that really bugs me. While a very sweet story, I cant help but think about the setting of the story. I feel like this is a middle school or at best highschool setting. This contrasts with the protagonist's kind of matured mindset where he's not really freaking out about being called by a girl, but more concerned if this was a joke.It's well written, no doubt! Plus you had to cut down on your 3k+ words, and I know how that feels >.>.
Hey I know. Well I prefer sullen calm character over the typical kind. I feel that its more real and unique. I'll try a more outgoing protagonist another time :3 I felt for the approach I attempted was perfect for a teenager who has never payed attention to the holidays season.
0
TheWaywardMoogle
Wayward Pervert
WoW talk about heart warming =P you really captured that feeling of finding someone you love/like and it reminded me of spending time with my girlfriend haha.
I also liked the setting. does your school do a secret santa like this? if so let me enroll!
I also liked the setting. does your school do a secret santa like this? if so let me enroll!
0
TheWaywardMoogle wrote...
WoW talk about heart warming =P you really captured that feeling of finding someone you love/like and it reminded me of spending time with my girlfriend haha. I also liked the setting. does your school do a secret santa like this? if so let me enroll!
Thanks ^^ My school didn't do an event like this actually. It was brought up because of my suggestion but it didn't go through. So I thought i'd do that here :3
0
leonard267 wrote...
After reading this, I demand a sequel. Simply wonderful! :D thank you and I shall.
0
Find_Vega wrote...
leonard267 wrote...
After reading this, I demand a sequel. Simply wonderful! :D thank you and I shall.
Or, how about posting the original story? (Before you chopped it in half.)
0
Zandorf wrote...
Find_Vega wrote...
leonard267 wrote...
After reading this, I demand a sequel. Simply wonderful! :D thank you and I shall.
Or, how about posting the original story? (Before you chopped it in half.)
I sadly overwrote it and I lost the previous one. and I'm thinking of keeping myself limited to 1500 cap again
0
Find_Vega wrote...
Zandorf wrote...
Find_Vega wrote...
leonard267 wrote...
After reading this, I demand a sequel. Simply wonderful! :D thank you and I shall.
Or, how about posting the original story? (Before you chopped it in half.)
I sadly overwrote it and I lost the previous one. and I'm thinking of keeping myself limited to 1500 cap again
That's sad... T^T
Or... you can challenge yourself to write something this good in under 1k words.
0
Zandorf wrote...
Find_Vega wrote...
Zandorf wrote...
Find_Vega wrote...
leonard267 wrote...
After reading this, I demand a sequel. Simply wonderful! :D thank you and I shall.
Or, how about posting the original story? (Before you chopped it in half.)
I sadly overwrote it and I lost the previous one. and I'm thinking of keeping myself limited to 1500 cap again
That's sad... T^T
Or... you can challenge yourself to write something this good in under 1k words.
I still have much to learn Zandorf and I would love to accept your challenge but I really want to finish this story in the best way possible.
