[Contest Entry 2011] The Wings of Ether
7
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
No family. No friends. No trumpets or Revelators. Just a man he hated and a nuclear bomb.
This is the way the world ends.
Snowflakes buffeted the viewport of Adam Hargraves' B-2 Spirit as it rumbled over the Bering Strait. The radio fizzled and popped as NORAD became a patch of ionized metal, but just as it was agreed, there was no change in heading. Not so much as a word was exchanged in the cramped cabin. The gloved hand of Adam's co-pilot James shifted slightly and flicked the radio off the channel. A knot formed in Adam's stomach now that they were finally and totally alone. He checked his watch--still thirty minutes out. Adam couldn't dredge any importance from the time, though. Just another thirty minutes. The fact that they were the last thirty made little difference.
"Listen, Adam, I--"
"Arm the warhead, we're entering Russian airspace." Adam cut off James. He couldn't stand to hear the man's voice. Then again it was James who made this whole thing easier. If it weren't for him Adam would still have a family to worry about, or a home to go back to. Ending the world isn't so bad when it's already gone..
James hesitated for a second before arming the cruise missile in the B-2's bay. Adam pushed the throttle and the bomber lurched forward, burning the little that was left in the tank. The silence returned to its former rule in the cabin as they flew away from the bleak December sunrise.
"Uhh, anyone in range? This is Colonel Whitten. Payload just went off. Tank's empty. If there's anyone out there, Merry Christmas. It's a brand new day." A weary voice buzzed through the silence ten minutes later. The aged man chuckled at his own humor, and then another pop. Adam's stomach did gymnastics. Did the old bastard really have to say that? He glanced over to James, who was already staring at him. The two locked eyes, and Adam looked away. Twenty minutes. Adam again pushed on the throttle.
The next fifteen minutes were punctuated by other pilots and their co-pilots saying their goodbyes, each vanishing seconds later in the same fizzle and pop. By Adam's count, that was it. No one else was up there with him anymore.
"I've fucked up. I've fucked up a lot. It never got any easier to deal with, and it never got any harder to avoid. I've killed people. Ruined lives. Now I'm all that's left, and my fucking legacy is going to be a crater." A heavy voice on the edge of tears came from Adam's right. Its clarity un-marred by the crackling of the radio. "I'm going to disappear and the one man who can help me won't because of what I've done. Maybe that's all I deserve. The contempt of my friend, and a crater --the monument to all of my sins." James choked out the last sentence before firing the missile. The B-2 shifted slightly as the weight dropped from it, and Adam watched the trail of orange light streak off into the darkness.
"Steady as she goes" he murmured, looking to the man who shook as he fought tears.
"Adam?"
Adam inhaled deeply and tried to shove the hatred he still held as far down as he could manage. "Yeah?"
"I never meant to hit Julia and the kids."
"I know, James."
"And I don't care if your son's into that Fakku shit."
"I never did."
"Then why won't you say something?!"
A massive flash of daylight beamed through the darkened cabin and the whole bomber shook in turbulence. Adam looked from James to the viewport and smiled.
"There's nothing to be said. There never was. I'll never forgive you James, so I hope you can forgive me. In the meantime, you'll get exactly what you deserve."
Adam closed his eyes and let the wings of ether lift him up. To the wife that was taken. To the family that was gone. Adam Hargraves saw them all, and he smiled. He had never been so happy to be wrong. Floating weightless with those he loved; this is the way the world ends.
This is the way the world ends.
Snowflakes buffeted the viewport of Adam Hargraves' B-2 Spirit as it rumbled over the Bering Strait. The radio fizzled and popped as NORAD became a patch of ionized metal, but just as it was agreed, there was no change in heading. Not so much as a word was exchanged in the cramped cabin. The gloved hand of Adam's co-pilot James shifted slightly and flicked the radio off the channel. A knot formed in Adam's stomach now that they were finally and totally alone. He checked his watch--still thirty minutes out. Adam couldn't dredge any importance from the time, though. Just another thirty minutes. The fact that they were the last thirty made little difference.
"Listen, Adam, I--"
"Arm the warhead, we're entering Russian airspace." Adam cut off James. He couldn't stand to hear the man's voice. Then again it was James who made this whole thing easier. If it weren't for him Adam would still have a family to worry about, or a home to go back to. Ending the world isn't so bad when it's already gone..
James hesitated for a second before arming the cruise missile in the B-2's bay. Adam pushed the throttle and the bomber lurched forward, burning the little that was left in the tank. The silence returned to its former rule in the cabin as they flew away from the bleak December sunrise.
"Uhh, anyone in range? This is Colonel Whitten. Payload just went off. Tank's empty. If there's anyone out there, Merry Christmas. It's a brand new day." A weary voice buzzed through the silence ten minutes later. The aged man chuckled at his own humor, and then another pop. Adam's stomach did gymnastics. Did the old bastard really have to say that? He glanced over to James, who was already staring at him. The two locked eyes, and Adam looked away. Twenty minutes. Adam again pushed on the throttle.
The next fifteen minutes were punctuated by other pilots and their co-pilots saying their goodbyes, each vanishing seconds later in the same fizzle and pop. By Adam's count, that was it. No one else was up there with him anymore.
"I've fucked up. I've fucked up a lot. It never got any easier to deal with, and it never got any harder to avoid. I've killed people. Ruined lives. Now I'm all that's left, and my fucking legacy is going to be a crater." A heavy voice on the edge of tears came from Adam's right. Its clarity un-marred by the crackling of the radio. "I'm going to disappear and the one man who can help me won't because of what I've done. Maybe that's all I deserve. The contempt of my friend, and a crater --the monument to all of my sins." James choked out the last sentence before firing the missile. The B-2 shifted slightly as the weight dropped from it, and Adam watched the trail of orange light streak off into the darkness.
"Steady as she goes" he murmured, looking to the man who shook as he fought tears.
"Adam?"
Adam inhaled deeply and tried to shove the hatred he still held as far down as he could manage. "Yeah?"
"I never meant to hit Julia and the kids."
"I know, James."
"And I don't care if your son's into that Fakku shit."
"I never did."
"Then why won't you say something?!"
A massive flash of daylight beamed through the darkened cabin and the whole bomber shook in turbulence. Adam looked from James to the viewport and smiled.
"There's nothing to be said. There never was. I'll never forgive you James, so I hope you can forgive me. In the meantime, you'll get exactly what you deserve."
Adam closed his eyes and let the wings of ether lift him up. To the wife that was taken. To the family that was gone. Adam Hargraves saw them all, and he smiled. He had never been so happy to be wrong. Floating weightless with those he loved; this is the way the world ends.
0
You have a wonderful way of putting feelings to words. Or rather your specialty seems to be this peculiar feeling of marvelment and solitude, like standing on top of a snow-capped mountain surrounded by the end of the world. And yet there's a campfire keeping you warm, knowing it's watching over you.
It's a one-of-a-kind feeling that only you can produce for me. It's a splendid job, and thank you.
It's a one-of-a-kind feeling that only you can produce for me. It's a splendid job, and thank you.
0
Its a nice read, but I think sooner or later you should learn how to do some 'trademarking' on your writings so people could distinguish your writings at a glance~
I think you already got all the foundations that a published writer has, good writing structure and imagery, and nicely put dialogues, though your story kinda lack personal impact as I can't really relate myself with the characters. Moreso, try to be more creative and different, not saying that yours aren't original but I expect some things that could 'hammer' me as a reader~
Discard any cliche ideas and walk your own path as I feel that you have a great potential, don't be afraid of failure because you already have people who will always support you~
Good luck and keep impressing me as you go, btw nice title
I think you already got all the foundations that a published writer has, good writing structure and imagery, and nicely put dialogues, though your story kinda lack personal impact as I can't really relate myself with the characters. Moreso, try to be more creative and different, not saying that yours aren't original but I expect some things that could 'hammer' me as a reader~
Discard any cliche ideas and walk your own path as I feel that you have a great potential, don't be afraid of failure because you already have people who will always support you~
Good luck and keep impressing me as you go, btw nice title
0
Wow......that was epic. I could ask why these people are nuking Russia, or what the deal is with James, but none of that really matters. Everything I needed to know was stated and or implied.
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
Yeah, High I'm trying on those "hardest buttons to button", and have been for a while. Headway's always in short supply though.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts so far, too. I'm glad to not turn out shite after taking so long.
And Prototype, your profile pic is the best. So bright, milky white.
Thanks to everyone for their thoughts so far, too. I'm glad to not turn out shite after taking so long.
And Prototype, your profile pic is the best. So bright, milky white.
0
Xenon
FAKKU Writer
Did you write 700 words--less than half the amount required--just to make a point? Good show either way.
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
I actually started with what's here and considered adding more, but I think it ended up muddling up what was happening in real-time with a back story where the specifics didn't even matter.
However, even in the worst-case scenario of zero votes and earning the abhorrence of the judges this will prove that a plot can easily be contained within the confines of 1500 words.
....so yes and no, Xenon.
However, even in the worst-case scenario of zero votes and earning the abhorrence of the judges this will prove that a plot can easily be contained within the confines of 1500 words.
....so yes and no, Xenon.
0
Cinia Pacifica
Ojou-sama Writer
Haha.
Awesome as always, Jerry. Your writing never ceases to amuse.
Awesome as always, Jerry. Your writing never ceases to amuse.
0
An amazing piece that easily ranks up there for this contest.
I really enjoy how you didn't need to explain anything, and how choosing that path made this story all the more better than if you did. In addition, your writing style, as usual, is always excellent as well. So having these two combined makes out for a really well written and enjoyable story. SO THUMBS UP FOR YOU JERICHO.
..Honestly I thought I'd have some long ass paragraph of praise for you, but my minds all groggy right now.
NEVERTHELESS, Great job man.
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
Disgusting wrote...
An amazing piece that easily ranks up there for this contest.
I really enjoy how you didn't need to explain anything, and how choosing that path made this story all the more better than if you did. In addition, your writing style, as usual, is always excellent as well. So having these two combined makes out for a really well written and enjoyable story. SO THUMBS UP FOR YOU JERICHO.
..Honestly I thought I'd have some long ass paragraph of praise for you, but my minds all groggy right now.
NEVERTHELESS, Great job man.
Aw shucks, Disgusting *kicks foot at ground*.
Thanks.
0
artcellrox
The Grey Knight :y
Decided to check out a random entry in the contest, and I went for yours because I hear you're good, and saw that this was really short.
For being something so small, however...it packed quite the power. I really don't have any words to describe the feelings you've invoked, and I want know what was the deal between the two, but I feel like that would lessen the significance of the whole thing. Fantastic job, Mr. Antares. Rise has every right to call you a god among writers.
*salutes*
For being something so small, however...it packed quite the power. I really don't have any words to describe the feelings you've invoked, and I want know what was the deal between the two, but I feel like that would lessen the significance of the whole thing. Fantastic job, Mr. Antares. Rise has every right to call you a god among writers.
*salutes*
0
If Jerry is god, then I'm the devil? The difference between our styles could probably be simplified like that lol~
0
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
In this poll, I believe that a great deal of the entries are very strong. Alina's and Disgusting's stories are easily strong stories for starters. Not even taking into account dark horses in this poll. However, the story that you've written is extremely, EXTREMELY concise. All the emotions are not just left to free interpretation, but they are implied and as the reader reads, the feelings and emotions dawn on reader. It's an interesting effect, and I think this story alone earns you my respect as a writer.
0
Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
...wow. I've been saying my words of thanks, but I don't feel that's enough now. I am simply overwhelmed by the magnitude of what everyone is saying.
I feel nothing short of privileged to elicit such a warm response from all of you, and I wish to sincerely thank everyone not only for their extremely kind words, but for taking the time to read.
I feel nothing short of privileged to elicit such a warm response from all of you, and I wish to sincerely thank everyone not only for their extremely kind words, but for taking the time to read.
0
high_time wrote...
If Jerry is god, then I'm the devil? The difference between our styles could probably be simplified like that lol~At the moment, I prefer to compare His (Jericho's) writing style to his current avatar: sharp, stylized, experienced, lauded to my avatar: rough and ham-faced dwarvish. I'm a long way away from his level. it seems lots of the contributors already hail him as winner. well, best wishes and good luck, sir.