"Death"
0
This is my first time posting in this section. This is a short story, but I'm thinking of continuing it. I wrote it trying out a light novel-style of writing. Whatcha think?
---
"Don't... please don't leave me..."
The young woman sobbed as she cradled the bleeding and broken body of a little boy. He stared up at her silently with dim eyes, and although she pleaded and begged, he wouldn't say a word nor cry out in pain.
Her body was covered in bleeding gashes, and pieces of glass that were still sticking out of her, yet she felt no pain at all. The hole opening deep in her soul consumed that physical pain and replaced it with a different kind of agony that was much more severe than the body could ever feel.
All around her was ruin. Scraps of broken metal and glass was scattered everywhere, and in the gray rain-filled sky, only the flames of what remained of a burning car provided any warmth.
Even still, in her heart the woman was far too distant from feeling the caressing heat of the nearby flames. Only sadness and despair flowed through her being.
And the true name of this feeling, is Loss.
"Please God, don't do this... please don't take him from me."
She shook the broken child in her arms gently as her tears fell onto his face.
"Come on honey, say something to mommy... please... please..."
I stared down at the two of them, unnoticed. I felt neither the cold chill of the rain, nor the warmth of the flames. I felt nothing, nor was I ever seen, just like always.
This so-called God would not save this child, this I knew for a fact. Why? It was simple. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
I have witnessed such a scene countless times over countless centuries. The circumstances were always different, but no matter the age, no matter what time, the breaking of the human heart remained unchanged.
A shining speck of light rose from the boy's chest, and slowly drifted into the air like a flake of snow in the wind. The woman didn't see it, nor could she feel it. Humans of her power level never could.
It is time.
I reached my hand out to the boy's soul, and like a moth to a flame, the speck of light drew closer to me. From this small piece of light, I could hear the boy's voice inside my mind. He was scared. He didn't want to leave. Yet another plea I've heard countless times, but just like the breaking of a human's heart, I could not yield to the soul's desire. I will not. I must not, for if I did the consequences for this world would be dire.
I closed my hand around the soul, and took it into myself before I turned away from the woman who continued to lament in suffering.
Opening my hand again, I opened the way to the divine realm in a blinding flash of light. As my vision returned I no longer found myself in a world of gray. No longer was the rain falling around me, and no longer was there a crying woman and a burning car.
All around me was a sunny world where the grassy land drifted in colossal pieces among the clouds. Countless souls drifted around me, like fireflies in an open meadow. At one time I had thought this place to be beautiful. How ironic, to think this way of a place of death.
Here I released the boy's soul, and I stood a while as I watched it drift away and become lost in the eternal flow of the soul stream.
His pain was over now. It is here that time will gradually wash away his memory before he is reborn in the next world. At least, that's how it suppose to work.
"Help me..."
A distant voice calls out to me in my mind.
I walk over to the edge of the floating island and peered into the world below.
"Someone... it hurts... please... I don't want to die..."
Ah, there it is. I found the voice. My sight zoomed in on North America, then into a city, and then further into an old warehouse, where I saw a girl lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood.
As I saw this, I suddenly found myself standing beside her. She pressed her hands against multiple stab wounds on her stomach as she coughed out blood.
“I don't want to die.”
Words I've heard countless times over countless ages. As I stared down at her, I wondered if she would ask God to spare her life.
Of course, I knew that wouldn't happen. This I knew for a fact. Why? It was simple. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
---
"Don't... please don't leave me..."
The young woman sobbed as she cradled the bleeding and broken body of a little boy. He stared up at her silently with dim eyes, and although she pleaded and begged, he wouldn't say a word nor cry out in pain.
Her body was covered in bleeding gashes, and pieces of glass that were still sticking out of her, yet she felt no pain at all. The hole opening deep in her soul consumed that physical pain and replaced it with a different kind of agony that was much more severe than the body could ever feel.
All around her was ruin. Scraps of broken metal and glass was scattered everywhere, and in the gray rain-filled sky, only the flames of what remained of a burning car provided any warmth.
Even still, in her heart the woman was far too distant from feeling the caressing heat of the nearby flames. Only sadness and despair flowed through her being.
And the true name of this feeling, is Loss.
"Please God, don't do this... please don't take him from me."
She shook the broken child in her arms gently as her tears fell onto his face.
"Come on honey, say something to mommy... please... please..."
I stared down at the two of them, unnoticed. I felt neither the cold chill of the rain, nor the warmth of the flames. I felt nothing, nor was I ever seen, just like always.
This so-called God would not save this child, this I knew for a fact. Why? It was simple. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
I have witnessed such a scene countless times over countless centuries. The circumstances were always different, but no matter the age, no matter what time, the breaking of the human heart remained unchanged.
A shining speck of light rose from the boy's chest, and slowly drifted into the air like a flake of snow in the wind. The woman didn't see it, nor could she feel it. Humans of her power level never could.
It is time.
I reached my hand out to the boy's soul, and like a moth to a flame, the speck of light drew closer to me. From this small piece of light, I could hear the boy's voice inside my mind. He was scared. He didn't want to leave. Yet another plea I've heard countless times, but just like the breaking of a human's heart, I could not yield to the soul's desire. I will not. I must not, for if I did the consequences for this world would be dire.
I closed my hand around the soul, and took it into myself before I turned away from the woman who continued to lament in suffering.
Opening my hand again, I opened the way to the divine realm in a blinding flash of light. As my vision returned I no longer found myself in a world of gray. No longer was the rain falling around me, and no longer was there a crying woman and a burning car.
All around me was a sunny world where the grassy land drifted in colossal pieces among the clouds. Countless souls drifted around me, like fireflies in an open meadow. At one time I had thought this place to be beautiful. How ironic, to think this way of a place of death.
Here I released the boy's soul, and I stood a while as I watched it drift away and become lost in the eternal flow of the soul stream.
His pain was over now. It is here that time will gradually wash away his memory before he is reborn in the next world. At least, that's how it suppose to work.
"Help me..."
A distant voice calls out to me in my mind.
I walk over to the edge of the floating island and peered into the world below.
"Someone... it hurts... please... I don't want to die..."
Ah, there it is. I found the voice. My sight zoomed in on North America, then into a city, and then further into an old warehouse, where I saw a girl lying on the ground in a pool of her own blood.
As I saw this, I suddenly found myself standing beside her. She pressed her hands against multiple stab wounds on her stomach as she coughed out blood.
“I don't want to die.”
Words I've heard countless times over countless ages. As I stared down at her, I wondered if she would ask God to spare her life.
Of course, I knew that wouldn't happen. This I knew for a fact. Why? It was simple. I wouldn't be here otherwise.
0
I liked it a lot actually. Some of the lines felt a bit cliche but it didn't really bother me because it fit with your style of storytelling. Last line was expertly done. A couple typos nothing major though, maybe it's just me but the "power level" line kind of stuck out like a sore thumb, but that's the only thing that bothered me. great Job, Great story.