Dimenzion Tunnel

...
This is new...
I'm writing this for about 3 days...
It's an adventure...
It goes like this.. Oh, pls read introduction...

Introduction:
Dear readders, this story is writed on True case. Maby u won't beleve me, just like I didn't...
In my primary school was always talking about tunnel witch was somewhere in reaver, near my school.
Many humans were talking that tis tunnel was searching for years, but nobody did never found him. But, other humans were talking that thoes who's found tunnel, were lost forever. Coz of that storye, we didn't wannet to come near river.
All writers have their own start... On some place witch is giving them inspirations. But, my place is leatle wearder.. I get my inspiration on my calss of Math...


1. Chapter:
-"No Nicky, that's not right! Go to your seat!"- Math teacher yelled -"U got on.."- she didn't finished her word, coz bell for the end of class ringed, so no one did hear her.
-"Oi Spike!"- I yelled my bes friend on other side of classrome.
-"Oi Wolf! Shell we go to the store?" - he asked me
-"Ok, why not. Run before teacher sees u!"- I told him and I started running.
I heard that Spike's following me.
-"U're slow!"-he told and passed my. His big legs were jumping for 3 stairs, and I could only 2...
-"First!"- He told me when we meet on the doors. We runned throo backyard, and we come to store.
We bought our selves chocolade. We heard new ring and everybody were going to the school.
-"Right on time"-
-"Yes, like always."-I told and smile - Oh, no... Bushman."
-"Hy guys, Hwo are u?"
-"It was better without u..."- Skipe said so Bushmac can't hear him-"Good, u?"
-"It's going... Hey, I heard more stories about the tunnek."-He told exsiting-"I heard that new guy was in it yesterday, but he came alive and helthy. We could see him after school..."
-"Ok"-Spike and I told in thesame voice.

This is not so big... But i don't wanna traslate anymore so...
I'll add cheapter 2 tomarow i think.

yes its very short ahhh alot of grammer errors also.... but as for the story line...like i said its to short so i cant really say anything about it.....

lol :D
U have Kira for your avatar :D

.............?!?!?!?!?!?!

I would like to say 'typo' but this is another level. These are 'errors'(Sorry for criticising).

Please fix your story before I can say anything. Especially the 'Dear Readers' part.

If you're not an American, I understand. But if you are... I don't know what to say.

PS

If you can make it a bit longer, the better^^

i agree with everything u just said...

second.

I'm from Croatia...
My english is better when I'm talking...
And I said that i will secound cheapter today...

Oh. Ok^^

Still, at least try to fix the story to make it more understandable.

This is only first cheapter...
I'll add secound now :P

oh and guys...
pls forgive me for bad writing...
my english writing sucks so...

2. Chapter:
School finished.
Everybody went home, but Bushman, Spike and I went for that new guy.
We came to him, and we asked him is the thing true. He was confused. We menchened the tunnel.
He turned areound and started to running, and i ranned to him.
I jumped on him.
-"Where did u get that scar?"- i asked him.
-"Come today in 8PM here and u'll find out."- He told me
-"I will."- I told him while I was helping him to get back on his feat.

In 8 PM I come in front of the scool.
-"So, u really did come. I'm Inpressed."- someone told bihinde me. I turned around. There was man standing. He came to me. I realysed that it's new kid.-"Follow me."-he told me
I did what did he asked from me. We went down to the reaver. And there it was. The Tunnel. I didn't belive my eyes. Boy camed in, and I was right bihind him. After some time, I coulunt see Boy anymore.
I runned to the end of tunnel.
On the end, was light. It was getting bigger and bigger. On the end of it (of Tunnel) it was day.
DAY?!?
How can now be Day if it's 8 pm? I did few steps. I looked around me. Nobody was there. After that I locked my self.
I was deferent... I had long black pants, and black T-shirt. I had a dagger too.
-"Argh!"- I howl coz of big pain. Someone was holding me. He put a dagger to my neck.
One person appear in front of me.
-"Friend, we got him."-He told someone. Another person appeared in front of my eyes. I Thought I was dreaming...
-"OOO, Wolf... Now I Catched u."- third person said
-"New guy... is that u?"- I asked
-"Yup."-he put his mask down. He had deferent face..
-" U can let him go."- He told person bihinde me, and he did that.
He was a guy... I appolagysed if he was rude...
I accepted.
-"How can u desepheard and appeard on the deferent place?"-I asked
-"When u came throo this tunnel, u camed into our dimenson. Dimension of Knights, Mages, Elves and Dragons.-"Man said
-Hey, new guy, how should i call u?"- I asked new guy...
-"Ruikan. This are Ryuk and Ram."- He pointed in two guys.
Ryuk was the guy who was holding me, and Ram was the guy who appered in front of me.



That's all of chapter 2...
Pls... I'm sorry for bad writing but...

but WHAT?!

joke^^

Yeah! You're improving a lot!^^

(sorry for criticising)

You made the story more understandable and not just gibberish. Still, there are a bit more things to fix. But that's okay. It could become a good read if you practice your writing (and english) skills.

If you need help, you can ask someone to fix a bit of your typos.

Or better yet, a beta-reader. But that's just for people who are serious in making a story^^

lol :D
Thx...
I'm still writing cheapter 3...

hmm chapter 3 is better but im still confused so ill need to read more..

maybe you mean chapter 2? :lol:

lol yea my bad lol like i said...i was confused lol