Well, I liked the story and am looking forward to more, but there's something that makes me a bit peevish. I think it was the mechanical errors (if I'm correct) such as the use of punctuations and spelling. Mainly it was the punctuations. Ah, but don't mind me, I'm sort of a nit-picker when it comes to this type of thing. My friends always say that I go a bit overboard on them if they forget to place a few commas here and there, so it's not just you. (I'm comma-crazy)
Anyway, it was a great story so far; I think what would make it more awesome would be if you added more details to the fight scenes. Or when someone dies. Depending on how awesome you want the fight or death to be, there might have to be at least 3-12 (more or less) descriptive sentences.