Wordmangler2000 wrote...
I've also been told that it's the lack of love and strong affection among the characters that makes this story uniquely unappealing.
It is also the thing that makes it extremely appealing. Women tend to have fantasies about being taken by one or more complete strangers, being reduced to the definition of pure sex, used to satisfy their urgent needs.
I don't have to tell your that your text is perfect regarding style/grammar/spelling. I saw your introduction thread and I am very well aware of your Columbia degree in literature.
Personally, I prefer the beach-story. It speaks more to me, but this one has it's own appealing, although it failed to make me feel anything until the moment the men started taking her. The rest doesn't do anything for me, but that has something to do with my own preferences and fetishes.
That's all from me.