Erotic fiction: At the beach
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yanagi wrote...
I'm pretty sure this doesn't relate to the topic anymore, so I'm done. I got drawn in again out of curiosity but now I'm definitely done.And all of that starting with you talking about cumming too hard... tisk tisk.
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
yanagi wrote...
Interesting. I'm suddenly curious about whether I can kill a man with this information. It seems like a blood pressure thing.You cannot plan to kill a man with this information any more than you could try to kill a women by cumming too hard. The actual cause of death is not 'cumming too hard,' but sending one's self into cardiac arrest by testing the heart too roughly. It was in the local news a while ago that two women challenged this man to an all-day sex session and they ended up using a whole bottle of Viagra. He died at the end of the day due to a heart attack. Some may say it was a good way to die, but I don't think it felt that great for him after the 5th time or so, though everyone is different. The myth of the succubus started because people used to believe that a man gave out his life force with his ejaculation and she desired to steal it, but they also believed that it came directly from the brain instead of the balls. Interesting stuff regardless.
I fall back on a saying my father used to tell me that maybe Wordmangler knows, "I want my cause of death to read 'shot to death in bed by a jealous husband.'"
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Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
This I feel is truly well-labelled as Erotic Fiction. The content of the writing took a back-seat to the sheer impressiveness of your word choice and the pacing that perfectly matches not only what is happening, but what the two are feeling. This is probably the first erotic anything I've read without feeling slightly uncomfortable at word choice, etc.
Your experience is evident, and I hope to match you when I'm your age.
Your experience is evident, and I hope to match you when I'm your age.
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Wordmangler2000 wrote...
I've also noted that men report they don't find the story incites fappery.I'm reading your other material, the new stuff in the second-person style, and I must say that I am slowly changing my position regarding fappability. :)
Wordmangler2000 wrote...
'Cause that's what I was shooting for. (No pun intended.)liar :P
Wordmangler2000 wrote...
I hope it puts female readers into the story directly, without the distance of third-person or the unfortunate complexity of first-person.In this respect, it will perform marvelously.
Wordmangler2000 wrote...
I was encouraged in the choice of second-person by the successes of Nathaniel HawthorneI haven't read much from Nathaniel Hawthorne, but what I have read from him I absolutely adore.
Wordmangler2000 wrote...
And Ulysses of course, which is ultimately unreadableHA
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Jericho Antares
FAKKU Writer
Wordmangler2000 wrote...
Thanks very much, Jericho. I've been waiting for your comments especially. You're like royalty here, you know?
I've taken Yanagi's observation ("It's like I'm trying to watch two ghosts who barely speak") quite seriously. I reread the story with that comment in mind, and I think there's something to it. The characters are idealized and not as fully fleshed-out as they could be. Their relationship is pure love, but it's a theoretical idealized love, untouched by the hurly-burly of real life. Yanagi has really got me thinking.
I've also noted that men report they don't find the story incites fappery. Which is fine -- men aren't my intended audience. Thank god the story speaks to women's...um, baser instincts. 'Cause that's what I was shooting for. (No pun intended.)
I've written a whole series of stories in that odd second-person style. It got to feel natural after a while. I hope it puts female readers into the story directly, without the distance of third-person or the unfortunate complexity of first-person. My goal to make the feelings more direct, to have them unfold in the reader's mind in real-time with this approach.
I was encouraged in the choice of second-person by the successes of Nathaniel Hawthorne ("The Haunted Mind"), whom I adore; Jay McInerney (Bright Lights Big City); and Nicholson Baker. And Ulysses of course, which is ultimately unreadable but does contain some memorable passages. Speaking of Baker, have you read Vox? It's a wonderful novel...the whole thing is the transcript of a single telephone conversation hosted on one of those phone-sex services that predated IRC. Hot, yes, but also endearing, human, and warm. I recommend it.
Well, here I am indulging in my usual TL;DR posting style. Bad habit.
Thanks again for the kind words. I'm glad to have you among my readers.
Oh, and that "when I'm your age" comment didn't get under my skin. Hardly at all. Mostly. Kind of.
"Royalty" is a term I'm undeserving of. Just trying to help others and if I get better along the way as well then that's just dandy.
I thought the departure from reality was welcome. To me it felt right due to the solitude of the couple on the beach.
I only chose those words because I know I'm younger than you simply because I'm a sophomore in college and if what I've read is correct you have a degree from Columbia. Apologies that it came out so wrong.
I have not read Vox, and upon reading the synopsis I can see why I never did. I'll give it a go though for the hell of it. Thanks for the suggestion.