Musical Muses of a Pornographic Nature

Five hundred twenty five thousand wanks in a minute
Five hundred twenty five thousand wanks 'till I blow
Five hundred twenty five thousand wanks in a minute
Say, how will I measure the amount of this load?
In ounces? In cups or in quarts or in giant gallons?
In metrics? In liters and milliliters too?
After five hundred twenty five thousand wanks in a minute,
I wonder how much cum I will have made?

Buckets of cuuuuuuuumm (x3)
Buckets full of cuuuuumm
Buckets filled with cuuum (Cuuu-u-u-u-u-u-um) (x2)

Five hundred twenty five thousand schlicks in a minute
Five hundred twenty five thousand bedsheets to stain
Five hundred twenty five thousand schlicks in a minute
How do you measure the sex drive of a woman or a man?

In the way that she moans, or the times that he cried
When he couldn't get it up, no matter how hard he tried

It's time to orgasm, though the horny never ends
Let's celebrate the convenience of a couple sex friends
And fill them with cuuum (Cuuu-u-u-u-u-u-um)
Fill them with cuuum (Cuuu-u-u-u-u-u-um) (x3)
With buckets of cuuuuuuuuuuuuuum
Buckets of cuuum (Cuuu-u-u-u-u-u-um) (x2)

I’ve got no shame in my sex game
Your bum’s looking pretty fine
Let’s go to my home, we’ll hump like dogs
Until both my balls are dry.

But you try to get away by telling me that you are gay
I can see right through you
Even some lesbos use strap-ons and dildos
So just let me do you.


I’ll hit you with these sweaty balls
This dick’ll dislocate your jaws
Keep sucking on it like a straw
Until you get all the cum out of me
Suck all the cum out of me

(Still working, come back later...)

(in progress, come back later)

I love to use onaholes
they make my wang feel good
I love onaholes
They make me feel so bad

When I’ve got one
It makes me feel
Like I’ve got all the girls in town

I love onaholes
they make me feel so good

They don't have eyes that look like one-way mirrors
nor sense or reason to judge my exterior

No need for a tissue
They hold my jizz for me
To you, They’re just tubes of rubber
That are made to squeeze a man’s pee-pee

But, in my mind
She’s has a face that’s cute
With a lot of a space in the boot
And a nicely fitted rack too!

Oh, oh, oh I love to use onaholes
they make my wang feel good
I love onaholes
They make me feel so bad

When I’ve got one
It makes me feel
Like I’ve got all the girls in town

I love onaholes
Because they make me feel so good


They don't care about my smegma stenches
Or that my dick severely lacks in inches

Uh oh (uh oh), wait a second (wait a second)
I might (I might), need a refund (need a refund)
This can’t (This can’t), no this can’t be (no this can’t be)
I think (I think), my onahole is just too little
Too little, too little, too little, too little

What the hell is this all about?
Why did this not come with lube?
16.99? Fuck you!

And I don't care, when people say
They found pubic hair and cum in the sink
Or when they complain
About the semen stains on my seats

They make me feel so--
I love, onaholes

They don’t stare through me like a one-way mirror
Or make comments about my hairy posterior

My friends say (friends say), get a blowjob(get a blowjob)
Or go (or go), pay for pussy (pay for pussy)
That’s when (that’s when), I’m force to tell them (forced to tell them)
What all (What all), the girls tell me (what they tell me)

When I (when I), pull my wang out (pull my wang out)
They laugh(they laugh), and say “Your dick’s just too little
Too little, too little, too little, too little
Too little, too little, too little, too little”

This is not what life’s all about!
This is not a dream come true!
It’s a fucking nightmare, dude!

And so I, I’m forced to use onaholes
to make my wang feel good
I use onaholes
to jerk myself like mad

When I’ve got one
I fuck it
Like I’m raping all those whores in town

I love (I love), onaholes
They make me feel so good
I love

Girl, don’t get mad. I only wanna help you keep the fun in your bags.
It might help to take out some of them pads, but not too many–that will look bad.

Your boobs are like London Bridge
(They’re falling down)
Please re-adjust your shirt
(Or they'll fall out)
Oh no, it’s too late!
(Your boobs are out)
Now I need new eyes
(I gouged mine out)

Bra those tits up, or go get some surgery [3x]
Or go get some surgery [2x]
Bra up [9x]
Or go get some surgery, surgery
Bra those tits up [4x]