New Year's Magic.
1
New Year's Eve.
Other people are eating luxuriously, or wasting money on some crap that they'll most likely to throw away the next year. Some buy stuff for their loved one. Stuff that are probably expensive and cost as much as my monthly allowance. There's also some who throws a party and ended up sleeping on the cold tiles in their own home. But, the majority always stays up late to witness the New Year and ended up staying awake the whole night and experience one of the worse hangovers they ever had. All of this happens in one day, one freaking day.
Me? Well I rather enjoy my new year's eve by staying in bed all day but not this time. Some of my friends are selling hot buns before New Year on one of the hills behind my school and they needed a second guy to take care of the stall. Well, I was the man. You might be thinking, selling buns on a hilltop? Considering it was New Year's Eve, everyone would gather around nearby hill, counting down towards the New Year, waiting for the fireworks. It was a perfect place to make business, experience and memories.
"Work hard everyone!!! We have to build our stall before nightfall!!"
That's the friend I was talking about. He's super energetic. Wonder where he gets all that energy. It's freezing out here and all he cares about is his stall. It's hard to hammer down a tiny nail on a sloppy road down the hill less than 7 degrees. That's cold. It's colder than my refrigerator. If I had one.
After hours of hard work on building the stall, I noticed that it was only the beginning. The supply box needs to be in place before people start coming. The heater must be at the right temperature so that the buns won't be to crisp or mushy. Let me guess, you thought the heater was for us? Unfortunately no, we have to wear 3 coats to keep us warm while the buns are bathing in sweet warmth.
Anyway, it’s getting darker and our stall finished just in time for the next job. Honestly, hot buns are not my expertise but I already promised to help.
The watch shows that it's 9:00 PM. Still early but there's already around 100 people here wandering around every stall, buying foods, taking pictures, cuddling with their loved ones. Our stall was busy with demands. The cold surrounding make these buns sell like hotcakes. Or hot buns. Whatever.
As I was flipping the buns before it got burned, a faint voice was heard.
"Umm... can I get some of those?"
"Please?"
"Umm... mister...”
Not caring who it was, I kept my focus on the buns. My so-called focus was disrupted when I noticed a hand was slowly patting my shoulder. I raised my head up to see the owner of the hand. It surprises me that there was a girl with long black hair around my age standing there. Where did she come from? I wondered. She was a bit shorter than me though.
"Uh... sorry... I thought you were..."
"..Older"
"Sorry again"
She slightly bowed her head. Other than calling me 'old', I don't know what she did to make her apologize like that. I apologize for not giving my attention to her. It seems all she wants was a couple of bread.
After 2 hours of flipping bread, we were finally finished. We sold all of our bread. Not all of it. There were still some that was put aside by the boss. He said it was for the workers. It was quite a lot. Carrying 7-8 breads inside a small box with my hands is not easy because the place was crowded. There was around an hour left before the New Year and the fireworks but people were already claiming spots and standing near the edge of the cliff. To put it simple, there's hundreds of people and none of them is moving a muscle.
I wasn't really thinking of enjoying the fireworks or the New Year so I decided to walk home. It's kind of lonely to walk down the hill at night. Just before I reached the bottom of the hill, I was noticed someone who was watching over the sky down the road. It was a 'she'. I know because her silky black hair can't be found any guy's head. It doesn't take me long to noticed it was the girl earlier.
The plan was, sneak pass her, went home, watch some kinky stuff, and probably exercise my left arm and go to sleep. But that teeny tiny voice inside my head interrupted my scheming honest plan.
"Are you going to let her be alone on this cold night?"
"Be a gentleman, go take care of her"
That's not all. Those voices are evil little bitches.
"You know...."
"The answer is always ..."
"...Rape"
Come on! I don't even know her, for crying out loud.
"I was waiting for you..."
She says in excitement. It seems she was happy because there's someone beside her in this lonely road. I decided to stay. After a couple of really awkward conversation, something really bugs me. What the heck a girl is doing here all alone.
"My family...”
...is busy with their work"
"My mom asked me to go out for the new year...”
"So I went here...”
She whispers. I kinda feel sorry for her. To be all alone on New Year’s Eve is kinda hard.
Suddenly, faint growl break the silences. I turned my head and see the girl rubbing her stomach. I can't help but asked.
"Where's your bread earlier?"
She was hesitating.
"Umm...”
"Well..."
"The road was slippery..."
"..And I didn't notice the water puddle...”
"...."
My hands move its own. Handing the bread I was carrying that was supposed to be my dinner to her.
"Thank you..."
"But I can't eat all of this..."
"... We can share"
She handed over some of the bread while smiling. Even though the bread was cold, it was the most delicious bread I have ever eaten and I'm sure she felt the same way too. We continue to talk after it. Sometimes I have no idea what she was talking; I was just nodding my head agreeing. I just don't want her smile to cease.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a loud bang was heard. The sky that was dark suddenly filled with colours, shapes and sizes. The sound of people cheering can be clearly heard.
"Happy new year!"
She jumps out of excitement.
"Well got to go!"
"Bye..."
And she's gone. I didn't even manage to get her name.
First day of school.
"Today a new student will be joining us"
Great. Another person I have to put up with till the end of the year. To make it worse, that person is going to sit next to me.
"Come in"
The teacher said.
"Hi...”
Wait.... a.... minute... I know that voice. Don't tell me. No, no way. Really?
Yep... It was her.
Other people are eating luxuriously, or wasting money on some crap that they'll most likely to throw away the next year. Some buy stuff for their loved one. Stuff that are probably expensive and cost as much as my monthly allowance. There's also some who throws a party and ended up sleeping on the cold tiles in their own home. But, the majority always stays up late to witness the New Year and ended up staying awake the whole night and experience one of the worse hangovers they ever had. All of this happens in one day, one freaking day.
Me? Well I rather enjoy my new year's eve by staying in bed all day but not this time. Some of my friends are selling hot buns before New Year on one of the hills behind my school and they needed a second guy to take care of the stall. Well, I was the man. You might be thinking, selling buns on a hilltop? Considering it was New Year's Eve, everyone would gather around nearby hill, counting down towards the New Year, waiting for the fireworks. It was a perfect place to make business, experience and memories.
"Work hard everyone!!! We have to build our stall before nightfall!!"
That's the friend I was talking about. He's super energetic. Wonder where he gets all that energy. It's freezing out here and all he cares about is his stall. It's hard to hammer down a tiny nail on a sloppy road down the hill less than 7 degrees. That's cold. It's colder than my refrigerator. If I had one.
After hours of hard work on building the stall, I noticed that it was only the beginning. The supply box needs to be in place before people start coming. The heater must be at the right temperature so that the buns won't be to crisp or mushy. Let me guess, you thought the heater was for us? Unfortunately no, we have to wear 3 coats to keep us warm while the buns are bathing in sweet warmth.
Anyway, it’s getting darker and our stall finished just in time for the next job. Honestly, hot buns are not my expertise but I already promised to help.
The watch shows that it's 9:00 PM. Still early but there's already around 100 people here wandering around every stall, buying foods, taking pictures, cuddling with their loved ones. Our stall was busy with demands. The cold surrounding make these buns sell like hotcakes. Or hot buns. Whatever.
As I was flipping the buns before it got burned, a faint voice was heard.
"Umm... can I get some of those?"
"Please?"
"Umm... mister...”
Not caring who it was, I kept my focus on the buns. My so-called focus was disrupted when I noticed a hand was slowly patting my shoulder. I raised my head up to see the owner of the hand. It surprises me that there was a girl with long black hair around my age standing there. Where did she come from? I wondered. She was a bit shorter than me though.
"Uh... sorry... I thought you were..."
"..Older"
"Sorry again"
She slightly bowed her head. Other than calling me 'old', I don't know what she did to make her apologize like that. I apologize for not giving my attention to her. It seems all she wants was a couple of bread.
After 2 hours of flipping bread, we were finally finished. We sold all of our bread. Not all of it. There were still some that was put aside by the boss. He said it was for the workers. It was quite a lot. Carrying 7-8 breads inside a small box with my hands is not easy because the place was crowded. There was around an hour left before the New Year and the fireworks but people were already claiming spots and standing near the edge of the cliff. To put it simple, there's hundreds of people and none of them is moving a muscle.
I wasn't really thinking of enjoying the fireworks or the New Year so I decided to walk home. It's kind of lonely to walk down the hill at night. Just before I reached the bottom of the hill, I was noticed someone who was watching over the sky down the road. It was a 'she'. I know because her silky black hair can't be found any guy's head. It doesn't take me long to noticed it was the girl earlier.
The plan was, sneak pass her, went home, watch some kinky stuff, and probably exercise my left arm and go to sleep. But that teeny tiny voice inside my head interrupted my scheming honest plan.
"Are you going to let her be alone on this cold night?"
"Be a gentleman, go take care of her"
That's not all. Those voices are evil little bitches.
"You know...."
"The answer is always ..."
"...Rape"
Come on! I don't even know her, for crying out loud.
"I was waiting for you..."
She says in excitement. It seems she was happy because there's someone beside her in this lonely road. I decided to stay. After a couple of really awkward conversation, something really bugs me. What the heck a girl is doing here all alone.
"My family...”
...is busy with their work"
"My mom asked me to go out for the new year...”
"So I went here...”
She whispers. I kinda feel sorry for her. To be all alone on New Year’s Eve is kinda hard.
Suddenly, faint growl break the silences. I turned my head and see the girl rubbing her stomach. I can't help but asked.
"Where's your bread earlier?"
She was hesitating.
"Umm...”
"Well..."
"The road was slippery..."
"..And I didn't notice the water puddle...”
"...."
My hands move its own. Handing the bread I was carrying that was supposed to be my dinner to her.
"Thank you..."
"But I can't eat all of this..."
"... We can share"
She handed over some of the bread while smiling. Even though the bread was cold, it was the most delicious bread I have ever eaten and I'm sure she felt the same way too. We continue to talk after it. Sometimes I have no idea what she was talking; I was just nodding my head agreeing. I just don't want her smile to cease.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a loud bang was heard. The sky that was dark suddenly filled with colours, shapes and sizes. The sound of people cheering can be clearly heard.
"Happy new year!"
She jumps out of excitement.
"Well got to go!"
"Bye..."
And she's gone. I didn't even manage to get her name.
First day of school.
"Today a new student will be joining us"
Great. Another person I have to put up with till the end of the year. To make it worse, that person is going to sit next to me.
"Come in"
The teacher said.
"Hi...”
Wait.... a.... minute... I know that voice. Don't tell me. No, no way. Really?
Yep... It was her.
0
xninebreaker
FAKKU Writer
Woahhh, is this the beginning of a series? I'm finding the innocence that's oozing from your story pretty refreshing. I was expecting a one-shot, but the classic transfer-student-is-actually-the-recent-love-interest does a nice job at setting up another chapter. I'm interested in what direction you plan to take this (if you do plan to).
You may want to consider formatting your dialogue differently so that your piece is easier to read.
Example:
Splitting up the dialogue, even though it's the same person can be awkward to read since it is convention to simply combine them.
By combining your split up dialogue, the reader won't make the mistake of assuming that there are different people speaking. Formatting as shown helps save space.
Also, make sure to reread your work for spelling/grammar errors!
In particular this line:
Should have most likely(?) been:
You may want to consider formatting your dialogue differently so that your piece is easier to read.
Example:
Spoiler:
Splitting up the dialogue, even though it's the same person can be awkward to read since it is convention to simply combine them.
Spoiler:
By combining your split up dialogue, the reader won't make the mistake of assuming that there are different people speaking. Formatting as shown helps save space.
Also, make sure to reread your work for spelling/grammar errors!
In particular this line:
Spoiler:
Should have most likely(?) been:
Spoiler:
0
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
Spoiler:
Now that you mentioned it, xnine, it makes sense if that was the beginning to a series. I felt that the encounter with the young woman who threw out random words like 'rape' having little to no payback with little resolution. It did feel however like a story that is to be continued.
For stories like these, the most cliché of resolutions would be a confession of sorts or a one night stand or the young woman somehow putting an end to all of the protagonist's troubles with superhuman powers and so on. I don't mind those clichés though.
That said, I am really looking forward to its continuation. Surely there is so much more to say about that young woman and the protagonist.
0
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
-Fivey- wrote...
Please forgive me for my mistake. :( I'll be more careful next time.No! No! It wasn't a bad story at all! I am just left wondering how would it continue.