Blank_Zai wrote...
Words can't describe How epicly funny this was. I may not understand what's going on... Nor Am I affiliated alot with the RS but still this was a very funny and an Amusing read. +rep when I can~
Yeah you have to know the RS to get a lot of the joke in it. There is more, and I will say this. the Char Dev, is me. As well in the lulls of action I'm going to rag on people.
Edit: Not going to double post so here is the next bit:
Dev emerged up onto the room and wafted his hand in front of his face looking around to see what the commotion was all about, when he noticed the Peniscoptor and the ban hammer in Moses’ hands he put two and two together. “I see Moses found the Peniscoptor.”
“You knew about this?” Moses asked with a gleam in her one eye, as she tightened the grip on the ban hammer.
“Um…” Dev started pausing trying to think what to say. But ended up giving in and bowed on to his knees. “I didn’t say anything because Falcon made me promise. Please don’t hurt me.”
Moses raised the ban hammer ready to smash it into Dev but then paused. He was loaded with explosives, all over his body, one wrong move and boom, everything within a 100M diameter would be turned to dust, even Falcon would not survive an explosion like that at this range. Instead she walked into the penthouse and Falcon ran out his pants around his ankles.
“I thought it would be funny,” Falcon said as Moses emerged, with the ban hammer raised. “I told him not to say anything because I didn’t want the surprise to be ruined. I mean look inside the control stick is one very long shlong.”
Moses did not stop yielding to his pleas and lies. There was only one thing that scared Falcon and that was Moses when she was pissed off. In fact a pissed off Moses was the one thing that made anyone around shit their pants when she was after them. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done it I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” But it was too late a loud thud and Falcon went flying again, but preceding him was two bloody molars.
After that, Falcon dared not stand back up he laid there pretending to be unconscious, so Moses would not hit him again. Which seemed to do the trick as Moses stalked off into the penthouse and closed the shutters over the broken window and locked the door.
“Um Flacon?” Zak said as he scooped up the molars from the ground and handed them to them. “I’d go see Ziggy if I were you.”
“Uh yeah,” Falcon said as he sat bolt upright, and glared at Dev. “You know if you were not an expert on Zombies I’d wore you with a detonator and throw you over the edge of the roof and detonate you right then and there as the zombies tore your flesh from your body, you traitor.”
“Zak’s right,” Dev said changing the subject away from him. You got hit pretty hard I’d go see Ziggy if I were you.”
Falcon took his two teeth and reluctantly stalked off the roof and down the stairs to the 6th floor. Where he took the elevator to third floor, the first floor button had been smashed and rendered unusable. The only way to get to the first floor was to use the back stairs or go down to the cellar in the service elevator and through the basement door, which was probably barred shut by a fallen column.
“What do you need Fal…” Ziggy began as she turned to see Falcon walk into the Infirmary. “GOOD GODS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE!”
“Moses happened,” Falcon growled, slamming his hand onto the table. “I need you to put these back in if you can.” He put the two molars on the table, and then went to sit down.
“I’d rather do a CT Scan to see if you are alright,” Ziggy said worried. “A blow to the head can do some damage even if the person is not aware of it. Now layback.”
Falcon did as he was told, because he knew that if he behaved he would get a lollipop. The scan itself was harmless and only took a few seconds to do. But the results were surprising. Ziggy shook as she looked at the results in her hands and then put then on the light board to make sure she was reading them right.
“What’s the conclusion?” Falcon asked. “Am I alright?”
“It depends on your definition of the phrase alright,” Ziggy said as she showed him the results. “You have no brain, your head is empty.”
“What impossible,” Falcon said. “I have a brain look there!” He pointed to a tiny spec in the center of the image.
Ziggy put the image into the computer with a scanner and used a microscopic zoom program to look at it, indeed it was a brain but the image had to be zoomed in to 30x magnitude just to look at it. Falcon’s brain was so tiny it’s no wonder he does such stupid things and never seems to feel pain.
“But anyways I can’t put the teeth back in,” Ziggy said shaking her head as she examined them. “The nerves were ripped out as well. Best thing for you right now is to get a shot of Penicillin.”
Falcon squirmed a bit at the thought of a needle, being stuck in him. He is almost childlike in nature when it comes to things sometimes. When he say the needle he almost fainted, looking at it. But he pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and turned his head the other way. “Okay do it and get it over with I hate needles!”
“Wrong place,” Ziggy laughed. “Stand up and pull your pants down.”
The look on Falcons face was priceless, Ziggy almost wished she had a camera right then and there as he sat there, staring at her. “You have to be joking!” His voice cracked.
“Do it or no lollipop,” Ziggy commanded, as Falcon grudgingly dropped his pants revealing a pair of white briefs that have a sky blue trim and a big huge superman logo on the back. “Okay hold on a second.” Ziggy pulled out her cell phone. “I don’t want to stare at your bare ass more than I have to so when I say drop them drop your… AHEM… Tasteful underwear.” The phone was set on silent so the picture was taken silently. She grabbed the needle and positioned it right where it needed to be. Just a few inches from the surface. “One the count of three. One… Two… Three!”
Falcon dropped his pants revealing a hairy pimple ridden ass. The needle stuck right into one of the larger pimples causing puss to come out of the injection site, and Ziggy injected the penicillin in and pulled the needle out as fast as she could, as to not look at the sight much longer.
“Grab your d-da-damn lollipop and get the fuck out of here,” Ziggy stammered as Falcon put his pants back on.
Falcon did as he was told he wanted out of there as fast as he could get out of there. But he had to have a cheery lollipop which always seemed to be on the bottom of the basket. Once he grabbed it he walked out and closed the door behind him. Once Ziggy was sure he was gone she pulled out her phone and sent a message to everyone, with the picture and a caption †˜Falcon is a Superman fan?’