!SPOLIER ALERT! The Story of Atrocious Spelling and Grammar

Please take this story with a grain of salt, it is meant to be silly, nonsensical, and have absolutely 0 words spelled correctly, aside from this short paragraph, and the words in the title. Most people probably have no idea how long it would take to do this much text, spelled intentionally incorrectly, unless they did it themselves, and still make it readable if you look hard enough. After this line, all words are intentionally misspelled.

Da spoylerzin da titl barr.

dis IZ uha Stroy abut uha gyu dat onse hab ahcondishuner en hees bedruum, buht hee coodent turm et om. "Y iss dis nott wurkeng?" hee yeleld. Dere wuz nou wun dere 2 anzer heem en hees dezpareshun. Wohng akoh, en uha garrackshy fah fah awhey, dere wuz suhm stuphh, adnd uha gyu 2 wook afta a4menshun'd stuphh. Deenz wurr geden ouda hant. pEpl wurr daien. bodeis evrywurr. bwood evrywurr.

Ef onwy dere waks sum1 strokg enuf 2 deeel wif dis shet. mah mantality ish inshane nao. oppen mah hed adnd shee wut ish inshide. dere wush nou buran inshide. onwy emtinez. petch-bwack dockness. oxygan. heliuhm. suhmhao deenz woode haftuh cheinj. onwy wun pershun cood du eet. da chozen wun. da uparalel'd powur amung da higlands. heez de onwy wun hoo cood du eet. sheez de onwy wun hoo cood shee thruuh eet. dehn mah bodei woode taek da midnite twane goen newurr.

da chozen wun haz spokanne. whea musht faight 4 ower rigte 2 wiff. evann eeff whea loze mai waifu.







































So, I lied about this all being misspelled after the line in the first paragraph. Also, I lied about it making sense if you looked really hard. It didn't even make sense to me when I wrote it.

There was something about 'the chosen one', and 'mai waifu', but the rest is too obscure, just popped into my head. Good luck reading this.

I'll congratulate anyone who can translate this to proper English at least 90% correctly.

Challenge accepted.



The spoiler is in the title bar.

This is a story about a guy that once had an air conditioner in his bedroom, but he couldn't turn it on. "Why is this not working?" he yelled. There was no one there to answer him in his desperation. Long ago, in a galaxy far far away, there was some stuff, and a guy to look after aforementioned stuff. Things were getting out of hand. People were dying. Bodies everywhere. Blood everywhere.

If only there was someone strong enough to deal with this shit. My mentality is insane now. Open my head and see what is inside. There was no brain inside. Only emptiness. Pitch-black darkness. Oxygen. Helium. Somehow things would have to change. Only one person could do it. The chosen one. The unparalleled power among the highlands. He's the only one who could do it. She's the only one who could see through it. Then my body would take the midnight train going anywhere.

The chosen one has spoken. We must fight for our right to with(whiff? this?). Even if we lose my wife.

---

Feel free to openly correct me on anything I got wrong.

Live. We must fight for our right to live.

Ah, seemed really out of place to me. Good catch. Should have been "party."

Holy shit, you figured out the entire story word-for-word, except one word.

Mad props, man. Mad props.

Looking back on it, most of the words are actually pretty obvious, just that last one made no sense, even to me. Why did I use 'wiff' for 'live'? I'm not even sure what I thought at the moment.

This was a really fun read to translate, by the way. Unlike my pal, Xenon here, I'm no good at being meticulous which is why I chose not to write out my translation. I'm glad I was able to help him though. I think you should write more! It'll be a fun game for all the writers who are still left on the forums.