[Summer Contest Entry 2012] Leonard267's Summer Vacation

leonard267 · 2012-07-09T15:07:10+00:00

My friends, the last time I have checked, the name of the competition is called the 'Summer Writing Contest'. So I, Leonard267, decided to abuse this contest as a platform to complain about my sorry, unromantic, hot as hell summer vacation, knowing full well that though whatever I write barely qualifies as a story, it is still writing nonetheless. When the examinations ended at late May and I was made to go through 3 straight months of vacation, all I could fill my mind with was pure resentment. The first year of my studies in univerisity was a baptism of fire. I had only 3 months to go through half a dozen of courses of which I have little to no background knowledge. Compare that with the 6 months of preparation before a major examination at grade school (or whatever you call it). After some thinking, I realised why I am only given 3 months of time to learn, go for the examination and fail the examination: The bloody university bloody has a bloody long bloody vacation that bloody gives me a bloody bloodlust that bloody stayed in my bloody mind to the bloody moment I am bloody typing this bloody story. And it did not help matters that the first thing my mother said to me after the examinations was not about how well I did for the examinations but rather about my non-existent love life. I can't recall much about what she said then, but this was what I heard, "My son, you should get yourself a girlfriend so that by the end of this decade, your chances of getting married will be higher. You should get yourself a girlfriend who is older than you (because you are an immature wreck and I would like someone else other than myself bear the drudgery of taking care of you for the rest of your life). I think I may have made up the last part about myself being a wreck; my memory is rather foggy where romance is concerned due to that issue being too depressing for me. I did not listen to my mother for my thoughts turned from romance and getting a girlfriend, to marriage and exhortations from both government and society to commit myself to marriage, then to misogyny because anyone with common sense and of the opposite sex would not come within a mile near me (and I hate them for not coming near me) and then to misanthropy because I begun hating the people who fall in love with members of the opposite sex and then it extended to any living being that is capable of falling in love! For goodness sake! If society, the government and my mother want me to get a girlfriend or to put it in a less roundabout way, get married, they ought to make marriage mandatory! The military for example, practises the buddy system which involves pairing strangers together, who will be very close to each other as the military begins their months-long routine of torture called military training. Why can't we do it for marriages?! It worked well for the military! Life is like military training, except that it is life-long! I would implore anyone who happens to be powerful, reading this little composition of mine and so happen to be deluded as me to really consider my proposal! These angry thoughts preoccupied me for much of June until I came upon a website (I think it is called Fakku, I don't remember) and discovered that looking at pictures and cartoons does make me satiated and gratified in the most devious way I can't put into words. It puts me off entertaining angry thoughts about romance even though I had do a lot of washing up. Strange how looking at pictures makes me physically and mentally dirty. And of course, just as I thought that my problems or at least my feelings of resentment would go away by gawping at pictures, reality came back very slowly but surely. I have nothing to do this stupid vacation and I am not happy about that. So, in order to kill time, I thought I'd spend the next few weeks thinking about what to do for this vacation and sure enough, I had come to this conclusion that has nothing to do with my plans for the vacation:

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leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer

12 years ago

I apologise for the double post, but I feel that I ought to top a terrible summer with a terrible report card. Ah!!! My summer is complete!

I'm afraid this story didn't survive my first cut so it didn't receive a numerical grading, but I can give you one anyway. I agree that it entertains in some manner, but maybe if it were a little less angry and a bit more clever, it would come out as a better story in the end. I'm not sure if making this your writing style for the future is the best idea, but my opinion certainly shouldn't deter you. If anything, work on it so it flows a bit better and go a little easier on the rage.

4 - Grammar/Spelling - Decent
2 - Plot - There is no real plot to speak of, unless hatred of summer counts as plot.
4 - Theme - I would take off more points, but the hatred of summer does qualify as summer, even if it doesn't really feel like it.
1 - Flow - The rage distracts from the good parts of the story, and the repeated molestation of the fourth wall takes away any pretense that this is a story
3 - Originality - I've not only heard this rant before, I've probably made at least parts of it myself at some point.
FINAL SCORE 14/25

MrRa1ndrop

12 years ago

Hey, don't know if you can speak german but:
Das war verdammt lustig :D
Translated it means as much as:
That was damn funny.
Although I have to agree with CoffeePrince. A story with that kind of dry and sarcastic main character would have probably been great.
Anyways wanted to thank you again for reading my text. That would be all I think... Yeah thats it.

leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer

12 years ago

MrRa1ndrop wrote...

I am thinking of writing parodies of the better entries of the recently ended writing competition. Perhaps I can come up with a main character.

To be frank, the first time I saw your thread, I thought you were sharing us your phone texts with us. Nonetheless, I enjoyed looking through your story.

But it would be a nice idea isn't it? Sharing some exchanges over the phone with us.

Jericho Antares FAKKU Writer

12 years ago

It was wickedly dark with the perfectly dry sense of humor to match the tone of the rest of the work. It reminds me loosely of Chuck Palahniuk, especially at the end where you mention the tankers in the distance and the waste just offshore topped off with the remark of "I just can't appreciate that". It isn't wrong, you just can't appreciate it. I lol'd, as I'm sure most did.

Yuuki

12 years ago

This work was very interesting for me, I couldn't stop reading up until the end.
It appealed to me in some way that I can relate some of my summer memories before.
It was a good read, made me smile as I could feel your very emotion through your work.

Keep up the Good Work, hope to read more of your Rants/Works in the future.

Gallowloch

12 years ago

I tip my imaginary hat to you leonard267 because your realistically, fictional rant captured my interest as I read through the first paragraph. I chuckled here and there throughout the whole rant/essay because I can relate depreciating everything in my life to create humor for my fellow people who have the time to hear my so-called opinion on things like gas prices, Obama, technology, and the younger generations having little respect for peers and elders. I am honestly impressed that the last sentence I wrote in this was as long as it was because I tend to write short sentences, except sometimes I can write really long sentences that capture one complete thought and can connect that sentence to the paragraph as a whole.... what was I talking about? Oh yeah; your rant was humorous and I simply like to hear more and maybe even create a conversation or debate, not in the sense of arguing and name-calling but in expressing your view which opposes the other person's view, with you about which one of our countries are worst than the other and who truly hates their life more in a fictitious yet relative manner.

leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer

12 years ago

GiantBeardedFace wrote...

Giant, I have to tell you this. And I hope only you and I get to read this and no one who frequents Serious Discussion gets to see this. I am trying to bypass Serious Discussion. I am looking at writing monologues like this as a template of sorts to talk sbout issues that others would deem "serious".

And since no one (at least most people) takes what I write seriously and that is very intentional, I don't think I will have to suffer reading posts of people debating about things that matter very little to them and them thinking that what that does not matter to them really matters a lot to them.

Gallowloch

12 years ago

leonard267 wrote...

Giant, I have to tell you this. And I hope only you and I get to read this and no one who frequents Serious Discussion gets to see this. I am trying to bypass Serious Discussion. I am looking at writing monologues like this as a template of sorts to talk about issues that others would deem "serious".

And since no one (at least most people) takes what I write seriously and that is very intentional, I don't think I will have to suffer reading posts of people debating about things that matter very little to them and them thinking that what that does not matter to them really matters a lot to them.

I can see your point there how something that means so little to someone could actually mean a lot to them, and how that erupts into a serious discussion. I guess serious discussions are just ways to troll several people at the same time, but I do that on Facebook all the time about abortions, racism, and other "hot topics."

Find_Vega

12 years ago

Finishing this, I am rather conflicted by summer as well. Lol. Though I think this barely counts as a story, the humor within it made it a well worth it read, especially the marriage jokes being mandatory.

My friend, you and I definitely need a drink. I'll pay the first round ^^

leonard267 FAKKU Non-Writer

12 years ago

Find_Vega wrote...

You will have to give me water or perhaps a soft drink. If you give me alcohol chances are I will fall asleep.

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