The Chronicles of Messorius (Added: Chps 2 & 3)

My original story that I wrote when I was like 16. So about 4 years ago. I still like it. :)

It has some Abrahamic Christianity incorporated into it and a LOT of Greek Mythology. Basically the God and the Devil are the same God and Devil from the Bible but there are other Gods and Goddesses as well. Hope that makes sense. Heh...

Needs a little tweaking especially in the last 2 chapters. Dx but yeah, it's alright. I think I will post the Prologue first.

I got like 5 chapters into it. So just tell me if you want to read more. I love critiques and criticism as well.

(Oh and btw, the Latin is probably not correct. xD In fact ignore the Latin altogether. lol I don't know what I was doing with that, Babelfish perhaps. lol )
-----------------------------

I stood before my master my heart beating steadily in my chest. He looked up from his work towards me and bellowed in a profound, deafening voice, "EGO EFFICIO ET ACCIO VOS MESSORIUS. CONTRA VESTER CONSTITUO NUNC."
(Translation: "I did not beckon thee Messorius. Assume your post immediately." )

He went back to mutilating his live work but I stayed, not moving even the slightest. He continued to ignore me and slid his razor-sharp nails across the shrieking body. Blood spilled over the sides of her. She moaned in angst and begged for mercy. It was almost hard to tell if she was in pain or pleasure when Lucifer lapped up the blood like a dog. Women were his most favorite sinful creatures to torment. But he always grew tired of the old and ordered new souls one by one for me to bring to him. Sometimes he even fancied a beautiful man. After all this is the land of sin, what else would you expect from the devil himself?
But he is not the only one. I too am a devil, you might have heard of me. My mother is Nyx, my twin is Hypnos, and I am known as the god of death amongst the land dwellers. They call me the grim reaper or the porta-custos of Hell.

I whipped my tail against one of the rugged molten rocks causing it to explode volatility. I had gotten his attention again only this time he exploded with anger, "MESSORIUS! EGO ENARRABILIS VOS EXCEDO NUNC!"
(Translation: "Messorius! I told you to leave! Now!" )

"Ego arbitratus meus constituo ast vester sedes!"
(Translation: "I will assume my post on your throne!" )

"SUEMUS VOS REIECTIO EGO!?"
(Translation: "Are you challenging me!?" )

I spoke no more. I had already begun charging towards my foe with great speed. Our weapons clashed together clanging through the underworld. The bells from my scythe rang a toll of death. On the tenth chime he would be defeated and I would reign as his overlord!
His nails had grown out like claws but they appeared to be knives that protruded from his cuticles.
One ring chimed from my scythe. The first toll.
He lashed his claws at me and I countered with the Soul Reaper.
Ring!
He pushed away from me and I jumped upon a large lava rock. Lucifer taunted me from below.
Ring!
I leapt down gliding on my demon's wings. I lashed my scythe out at him!
Ring!
It nicked the side of his face. Black tinted blood spewed from the cut. He furiously slammed his foot down on the hard molten rock.
Ring!
A tremor erupted and blasts of lava burst like geysers! I was hit by one and crashed down onto the earth.
Ring!
My face bubbled from the burn it endured. When I touched it my skin slid onto my hand like it was never pasted there in the first place.
Ring!
Lucifer was dashing toward me quickly like a cat. He swung his claws at me! I promptly turned my head away to dodge his attack.
Ring!
One claw slid across my right eye. The eyeball stung as my blood enclosed around it. I hurriedly leapt to my feet and prepared to defend myself.
Ring!
Before I had a chance Lucifer ran straight up to me and dug his claws in my gut. I was to winded to breath. He forced them into me and twisted his arm back and forth stirring my guts around. I fell against him and my body rested against him and his claws. With his head close to my ear I heard him whisper, "...Fundo..."
My eyes widened and I felt the back edges of his claws scrape against the inner part of my gut as he pushed me to the ground. I lay there stunned...

'Fundo...Defeat...No...It can't be...'

The bells never rang from that point on.
The last thing I heard from Lucifer was my punishment for betraying him. I was sentenced to suffer on the Earth as an immortal human for all of eternity. Never to grow old or to have the mercy of death.

Once I had reached the Earth my mother came to my aid and gave me her spear. The secret that she said would save me from a time without end in the human world was one I could never take on. But the sins I carried were a great burden that weighed on me in this world. I felt heavy and fatigued. So I slept hoping it would be an everlasting sleep of dreams...Or rather nightmares...

End Prologue

Chapter 1

I stared into the bowl with the chunky liquid. I was disgusted by the look and smell of it. I glared at the traveler that offered it to me, "Am I supposed to eat this?"
"You sure are! Go ahead and try it! It's the best stew you can get in Teetown, "I watched as the pudgy man garbled the liquid down. It dribbled from the corners of his mouth and the pieces of food stuck in his scraggly beard.
I stared into the bowl again. I took the odd utensil he had given me and scooped some of the liquid into its curved center. I held it up to my mouth and sipped it. I almost gagged! It was the most awful thing I had ever tasted! My senses were not as keen as they had been when I was a devil in Hell but they were still strong enough to sense my surroundings. It was as if I had the nose of a blood hound. In fact I could smell the stench of the old traveler from where I was sitting by the fire.
We only met by chance. I was hanging around in a tree as he passed by that night when my stomach growled loudly and he heard it. He was kindly enough to coax me down and offer that I join him for supper. I gave in to the howls from my gut and joined him.
He just started rambling to me after he started the fire. He told me about himself saying he had a family back home somewhere in a village called Ochre. He was so enthusiastic about how beautiful it was. The rocks were colored in different shades of yellows, browns, and reds he explained. Huge oak trees were spread across the grassy hills throughout the village. Wild flowers bloomed everywhere in the spring time he told me. Of course I didn't care. I wondered to myself why humans always felt the need to gab on and on about their pathetic and wasted lives.
He said he had a son around my age and a young daughter that was about seven. The man traveled to many different towns and villages and bartered with them to earn money to help support his family.
He rambled on for what seemed forever. Somehow I felt he wasn't telling the whole truth though. Especially when he said he didn't make much trading. I pulled my mother's spear closer to my face so I could look through the looking glass that was set in the center of the hilt. With the glass I could see right into his soul and read his very thoughts.
It showed that most of what he said was true. Although I saw how unfaithful he was to his wife sleeping around with every slut and whore he could find in those towns. He wasted a majority of the money he earned on booze and sent what little was left to his family. His soul radiated with an aura of sins.
I could see some desire in his eyes at that moment as well. Upon reading his thoughts I found out that he realized how valuable my weapons were. The man was planning to murder me in my sleep and take all of my belongings and sell them to some traders for high prices. He could certainly buy a lot of booze with that.
He looked at me when he finished eating, "I know you're hungry boy. Go ahead and eat! It's alright! If I didn't mind sharing I wouldn't have offered!"
He let out a big, fake, grin. I replied, "I don't eat horse shit."
He looked a little hurt, "Oh...Well, whatever suits you're fancy. But that's all there is, sorry, "He lay down on his side and warmed one hand by the fire while he rested his head on the other.
I grumbled when my stomach did. The man just smiled mocking me. I was so tempted to eat the disgusting food that I almost downed it in one gulp but I stopped suddenly and sniffed it again. It smelled like valerian. It was a sleeping herb. He was so desperate I thought. I took the bowl and downed it anyways. I sighed relieved that my stomach was content. I hated having such persistent human sensations.
The man smiled and said, "So you're stomach got the better of you, eh?"
"What of it?" I barked back.
He chortled at my remark, "Never mind it boy. At least now you're stomach is full and you can sleep well tonight, "He sighed and lay back against the log.
I moved so close to the fire the man seemed nervous I'd burn myself. It didn't bother me one bit though. I welcomed the warmth.
He began some conversation, "So I noticed you have some really nice weapons there. Where'd you get them?"
I grinned knowing what he was up to, "They were personally forged for me."
"Wow. That's some mighty fine handy work. What are they made of?"
"The spear's tip was made out of diamonds, the scythe's blade was forged out of mythril, and both of their hilts were forged from onyx and shards of silver."
"Amazing!, " He stared bewildered, "How much do ya think they would fetch for?"
"I wouldn't know. They were gifts."
"Wow! You're a pretty lucky guy, "He yawned loudly, "Well I'm feeling a bit drowsy I think I'm going to sleep now. How 'bout you boy? Feeling tired?"
I smiled through the fire, "Not a bit. I could go for days without sleep."
"Really now? Well I doubt that. You youngin's think you can stay up for so long, but I know better."
"Do you now? You honestly think that the valerian is going to take affect on me don't you?," His eyes widened with surprise, "You know I would have been your first murder. Do you think you really could have gone through with it? You've beaten many women almost to their deaths but you always held back. Now why is that? I think it's because you're afraid. Afraid to get in some trouble...You humans disgust me, "
I flung my hand through the fire and caught hold of his meaty throat. The flames danced up and down the cloth on my arm. He was perspiring greatly which made him stink even more. The fire came close to his face. I stood up still clutching him and stood in the fire allowing the flames to rush around me. I was engulfed in flames now and the man could only choke fearfully.
He gasped out, "Why!?"
"I'd probably be doing your wife a favor by killing you. And you get to go to Hell too. Fancy that."
"B-but! I'm a good person! I never meant anyone harm! Please have mercy! I have a family to provide for! I beg of you!"
"I don't have mercy for anyone...Funny isn't it? You get to be done in the by the former grim reaper himself, " I laughed out hysterically.
"Y-you!?"
"That's right. I'm him, " I thrust the man down on the ground where he clutched his throat gasping for air.
"Who the hell are you!?"
I took up my scythe from the ground and clutched it, "I'm the King of Hell."
"L-lucifer!?"
"No. The name's Messorius and don't you forget it, " I swung the blade precisely aiming at his head.

End Chapter 1

excellent intro, you should post the other chapters as well, good read

isn't it strange how different everyone's writing styles are? :roll:

funny thing about latin, my story had latin too, you probably used the same method i did to obtain it

Not bad i have to say.....Not bad at all.... although the last part seems a little......how to say.....spontaneous? it seems a little out of the blue to me. But it's just the prologue anyway.....

Hope the chapter 1 would be posted soon :) :)

yea that was pretty cool u should def throw some of those chapters on here...as u can tell there will be ppl who will read and comment on it =]

Cool cool. Glad you guys liked it.

Yeah...the Latin I probably just went to a translator and did word by word although I can't really remember it's been so long.

Umm, yeah I definitely need to tweak the ending. I think I just wanted to hurry it up and finish it I think at that time. Dx

Chapters are pretty short too. I hate the last 2 chapters though so I am going to avoid putting them up until I can edit them...a lot. lol

I post up the first Chapter.

that was awsome but u dont need to add it to ur ep u could just make a new post and u dont need to say chapter 1 added we can tell if u added anything or not..but like i said...it was great...

Haha ok, I wasn't sure what I should do. ^^; lol But thanks for letting me know.

so when are u going to post more....

Not bad.... A good start for chapter 1 i have to say. Interesting. and i don't think i'm able to predict anything at this point. Me saying that means a lot you know....Most stories i can predict with just the 1st few chapters but i can't see where this is going so keep giving me more surprises!!! :wink: :wink:

Ok here's Chapter 2.

I tend to keep my chapters fairly short I noticed, usually leaving a hook at the end of them. xD

Chapter 2

My scythe nicked the side of his large neck allowing a small drop of blood to dribble out. He jerked back from it. I released my scythe and lifted him up again. I gazed straight into his eyes, "You're a sick, sick man, you know that? Those little fiends are gonna have a lot of fun with you in Hell. But not after I have my fun."
The fires on my body danced wildly and enclosed around my hand where I gripped the man's throat. He sweated more from the heat. I could hear his heart pounding, thumping strenuously to pulse blood through all of his veins only to return back again. The maddening thumping was getting on my nerves. With a quick flick of my wrist I thrust my free hand at his chest. I dug my nails deep into his flesh and smirked at the resonance of his cries.
It was more difficult to pierce his flesh as a mortal fiend. If I were still a devil I would have been able penetrate his skin much swifter because my nails had been as sharp as switchblades' then. Now they were dull and broken, but still effective. When groping for his thumping heart I was forced to break several bones. Multiple nerves charged electricity up and down his spinal cord at the mere touch of them. By now he was jerking, twitching, and clutching my arm trying to escape. I savored the taste of his fear at it's every breath.
Finally I had reached my target and grasped my rigid hand around the warm heart. Feeling it pulse with life was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was the most incredible feeling of power.
As a devil I was never able to actually appear before my victims in a physical form. The mortals never new I had emerged before them until their soul had awakened in my clutches. The ability to feel and sense the living was never a precedence we immortals chose to administer. Emotions only prohibited our ability to make clear judgments accordingly. Even the Good Lord himself lacked most feelings of his own will.
I tugged on the heart a few times and listened attentively as each of the strands of veins and arteries broke free from it. Blood splurged abundantly from the gaping hole when I ripped the heart from his chest. The man collapsed to his knees and slumped on his face when I released him. His eyes had gone blank and now he only stared into darkness. I knew though that on the other side he would endure horrifying torture at the hands of many imp devils poking and pricking him with daggers and scorpions' tails.
The heart beat its rhythmus beat no more. I abandoned it from my red, sticky hand. It plopped in the dirt and blades of grass and the morning dew speckled it. I took one foot and ground it into the earth some more. The sun began to rise beyond the horizon and the flames engorging my body soon became nothing more than a few embers. I stood there and watched it rise...naked. My body was rippled with muscles in all shapes and my skin was a lightly colored peach. Tiny bits of hair seemed to stretch across every region and crevice of my body. My nails had been stained with blood as well as my hand.
Just out of curiosity though, I licked the blood off of my index finger. I winced at the taste! It tinged with the flavor of old beer and copper. And to think I used to drink blood from the gallons back in the underworld as if I were a vampire or a damphyr*. Blood was our source of life. It was sinful and pleasurable in many ways and I loved it. But now it seemed to be bland. The same as that awful 'stew' the fat man served me.

I overheard a small moaning sound behind me. On instinct I swiftly spun myself around only to find my replacement standing before me.
"So you can see me after all. You are no ordinary human."
"Styx."
"Messorius? Is that really you?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Delivering this dim-witted soul to my lord of course."
"So you are my replacement then?" I turned away from her and gazed back at Eos's beautiful dawn.
"Yes, someone has to do the job. You know Messorius you look so-"
"Peachy! Yes, I know. I have inspected this new mortal body of mine."
She giggled a little. Styx was always more withdrawn than the other gods. She was easily intimidated and quiet. She obeyed orders without question and took her jobs in the underworld very seriously, whether it be tending to Cerberus or serving water from her river to the other gods she made it her goal to finish those jobs no matter what. Even for as determined and conservative as she seemed, Styx had a darker side to her. She was a sinful master of sex and could not hinder her lust for the ecstasy of it. In fact she made quite an excellent lover.
"You look mortal but Sir Lucifer says you are still immortal."
"I am. I'm trapped this way for all eternity, or so he thinks."
Her ghostly figure glided around me like smoke, "But you still possess some of your powers...and your masculinity."
She was referring to what separated us men from women. I glanced down at it, "Damn that Lucifer! It's smaller than before!"
Styx couldn't help but laugh out loud, "If only you were still the devil I once knew! You're so different now. No horns, no tail, no beautiful tinted red skin, and your marking is gone as well."
I tried glancing at my back but couldn't see, "What!? My marking is gone!?"
"Yes, it's completely vanished. He really meant it when he said he disowned you." I growled under my breath and clenched my fist into a hard ball of anger. Styx looked at me with sympathy and shook her head. She wasn't even the least bit intimidated, not like she used to be. She had once feared me and desired me whenever I came to her. But now all she had on her lips was pity. It angered me more than the gods would know. Anger...The one emotion in which I would have chosen to discard, for it is the most powerful of all the feelings in its ability to blind the senses. Knowing this though I released my grip on the air and huffed away from her.
I went to the dead traveler and removed the sack from his back. I was searching for any kind of fabric to clothe me during the chillingly cold nights that my mother produced after Helios' retired to sleep.
Styx sighed brashly behind me, "You know you still have some of your powers. You can make yourself clothing if you would like. I'm sure even you still have that ability."
She was right. I snapped my index finger and thumb together on my left hand. It echoed forcefully and a smoky outline formed around my body. It became solid. I was clothed in a tunic shirt, pants, and a long black robe.
"See? What did I tell you? Well now I have to be going. This man's soul needs to be delivered promptly because I'm off schedule now, " She clasped her transparent arms around me and grazed my cheek with a kiss, "If you ever need help from your sweet pet just play this flute."
She became like dust in the wind and vanished. I took the man's huge sack and tossed it over my shoulder. I faced toward the Eos's dawn and followed it to the next village.

End Chapter 2~

Awesome.

Chapter 1 and 2 was great. I think there were no typos on both chapters(Excellent!). And no flaws (yet) in your chapters. Do you write books? It seems that you're experienced in writing... that or your just very talented^^

No typos because I use a spell-check? lol I should hope everyone does. xD

I used to write more when I was younger, like I said before this was written about 4 years ago when I was 16. I used to love writing a lot in school too.

When we had to write summaries of the books we read I used to write the book all over again. xD I didn't know how to write a goddamn summary. rofl

I've never written any books though.

I would like to get around to finishing this piece though. (Although I really want to edit chapters 4 and 5. I feel like I was going through some weird Inuyasha like stage because that's what it reminds me of. Dx )
-------------------
Chapter 3

I had arrived at the entrance to a tiny, run down village. I observed the sign hanging crookedly above me and read the Latin engraving, 'Temper'.
"What the hell kind of place is this?"
The people of the village were rather lively for peasants. They greeted me kindly saying, "Welcome young traveler" and "What do we owe this visit?"
The women gawked and giggled around me, young, old, even married. Apparently I was the talk of the town. I had only arrived and already rumors were spreading. They thought I was a handsome prince searching for a bride, or I was a damphyr seeking to eat their children, others said I was secretly a knight evaluating the village for a camp site for my thousands of soldiers to prepare for a coming battle. The children ran around me and tugged on my pants to see if I would attack them and the men glared at me like I was there to steal their wives.

After wandering around the village like a drifting nomad I finally found the one place most similar to my home. The local pub reeked of drunks, over perfumed whores, and all of the village scum. People were smashed, women were being fondled, and fights broke out like bubbling explosions from magma. It was my kind of place.
I sat down at the bar and dropped the large sack I had carried about five miles here onto the bar counter. It thumped forcefully onto the counter silencing the boisterous room. The pub became so hushed I swore I could hear a cricket chirping in the back. Everyone stopped to glance at me and then resumed their activities almost immediately.
"Get me a Vodka," I ordered the bar tender.
He poured the drink and slid it across the bar counter. I caught it and stared in it for a moment; only my red, glowing eyes stared back. Then I sipped the insipid drink and flinched. I stuck out my tongue and crinkled my nose. Everything I seemed to eat or drink in this mortal world tasted so sordid.
Thankfully to my good fortune a slutty, drunken whore strolled up to me and slurred, "Hey ya cutie...Wanna get a little...action?"
She allowed her tank strap to slide down her arm. The woman must have thought she was being sexy but I was absolutely repulsed. She was practically drooling, her brunette hair was tousled, and her make-up was smeared. She became slightly annoyed when I turned away from her and continued sipping my tasteless drink. She squished her breasts up against me and twirled her finger in her hair, "Come on...You know you want to."
I turned again facing her and grabbed her right hand tightly. She giggled cutely. I pulled out a small dagger from my pant pocket and firmly laid her hand on the bar counter. Her eyes began to focus and she seemed to realize the danger that she had put herself in. Even the bar tender became anxious, "Hey! There will be no blood spilled in my bar! Take it outside will ya!?"
I lifted the dagger up and prepared to come down forcefully between where my thumb rested and where her wrist started from her arm. I set my hand in motion and she screamed piercingly!
Soft, fair arms suddenly encircled around my neck and pulled backwards, choking me! I was forced to release the woman. I took up my dagger and stabbed into one of the arms but my blow was deflected by some peculiar magic. My dagger went flying across the room from the blast and cut straight into a drunk's forehead. He fell over, dead, and people began to panic.
I clutched both of the arms and tried to pull them away. The muscles I felt rumbling in the arms were that of no ordinary human.
A voice whispered to me, "Guess who?"
"ERIS!" I choked out.
She finally released my neck and bounced back, "Aw...And I thought I had you too."
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?"
She casually sat on the bar counter and bit into a red apple, "The question is, what are you doing?"
"That's none of your fucking business!" I was really pissed now.
"Mind your language. You are, after all, in the prescence of a goddess," She blinked several times, "Look at you, you're pathetic. You look just like a human."
I clenched my teeth and scraped them back and forth.
"Aw, is my baby brother mad at me?" She said, cooing.
"What do you want?" I was firm and to the point.
"Oh nothing really. I just thought I'd come visit my little brother. You have nothing against that do you?"
"You come barging in here and strangle me like a psycho and you don't think I have anything against it!?"
She smiled sardonically and cocked her head.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?"
"You're usually not the one to get angry. But if you really must know, " She stood up and floated around in a dancing motion, "I just wanted to see if the rumors were true."
"What rumors?"
"You're the talk of the clouds up there you know. Everyone keeps talking about how you tried to murder Lucifer and take his throne and that you lost so pitia-"
I took a hand and muffled her, "Okay, okay! I get the point! You don't have to go and tell the whole universe you know."
She laughed, " So it is all true! You are such a loser! Not to mention a shame to the gods! How low can you get?"
I turned back to my drink and glowered at my reflection in the liquid. She took the apple she was nibbling on and transformed it into her golden apple, the item in which she used to cause destruction. She then changed it into a golden stiletto. Eris grabbed my hand and vigorously held it up in which she sliced through my flesh all the way from my thumb down to my wrist. My blood trickled out of the wound. It was tinted black. Pure black blood. I stared at it taken aback by how murky it was.
"See how tainted your blood is? That is the evil in which you must liberate yourself from. Once your blood has been purified of all the evils you have condemned yourself with you can come to the heavens."
I let the blood spill into my drink until the wound had miraculously healed itself. I sipped the Vodka, happy with the results. I'd have gotten my savory drink sooner if Eris hadn't forced me to release the whore.
She became a bit irate with me, "Are you even listening to me Thanatos!?"
I leapt up drawing my scythe and directing it at her throat, "DON'T YOU DARE EVER CALL ME THAT!"
She leaned back a little and took her finger up pushing the scythe away a bit, "Do you really think you can threaten me? I'm a goddess and a very powerful one at that."
She made the golden stiletto change back into her golden apple. Eris grinned and floated back from me.
I was becoming a little nervous now. As the goddess of chaos and discord she could do anything bad with that apple. I still had difficulty believing she was an angel.
Although she was well known for her ability to cause great pandemonium and madness she was still allowed to live amongst the angels in the heavens. The only reason for that though was because of her virginity. She had yet to spoil herself and was faithful to the Good Lord. If you really must know, she was the one that carried out the world flooding back when evil wretched through the hearts of the mortals. You know the story, "Noah's Ark." Those were great times, but then God just had to destroy it all and overload us on the submissions into Hell. Talk about chaos. We were completely swamped with bastards, gypsies, bums, murderers, thieves and many, many more.
Eris had floated up out of my reach and grinned derisively, "You're going to regret threatening me Thanatos."
She spoke my name with ridicule in her tone of voice. Then she thrust her golden apple down where it cracked on the floor! A vivid, shimmering, mist steamed out of it engulfing her. I stood back waiting for some sort of natural disaster to strike. People ran out of the bar flailing their arms and screaming for their lives.
Unexpectedly a huge thorny head poked out of the mist. It's bright yellow eyes gazed at me and it's black tongue flicked out of it's reptilian mouth. The creature stood on all four of it's enormous legs and stretched it's neck higher making itself seem even bigger. It's head bumped into the ceiling of the pub, it hissed and stretched it's claws out which smacked into the walls! The creature used all of it strength to smash the walls and ceiling in! Debris came whirling at me from all directions! I leapt to the ground and covered my head as it all fell on me. I could feel pieces of plywood and glass shattering on me. It was somewhat painful but I endured it as I crawled out from under it all. I wriggled out of the rubble and watched people run amuck through the village. The behemoth that Eris had ridiculously chosen to summon was a Peluda Dragon*. It had gone rampaging through the village devouring and crushing anybody it happened to see. It used it's poisonous spines to shoot people from behind. It was stinking of blood and poison everywhere.
I dusted myself off and went back digging through the wreckage to search for the sack that I had taken from the fat traveler. It had enough supplies to last me a while and it was worth at least ten bags of gold.
In the corner of my eye I noticed an imprudent little girl sitting in the middle of the town square crying for her mother. The Peluda was moving so quickly tha it had already rounded back to come and devour more of the humans. She just sat there and cried and cried. I kept thinking, 'Why won't she move? The dragon is going to crush her. She needs to move. What a stupid kid!'
I heard the dragon roar raucously discharging a blast of fire and fumes of smoke from it's lungs. The fire spread quickly from one destroyed home to the next.
It was coming closer and closer to the girl and I couldn't, no, I would not turn my eyes away. Some strange instinct kept telling me to save her. My body wouldn't move though. As much as I tried I would not move an inch. The Peluda was only fifty feet away from her and closing in. It had shifted it's eyes and ears on the little girl and stampeded towards her most likely hoping to silence her noisy wailing. I noticed the beast's jugular throb. It was hurling up a ball of acid in it's throat preparing to spit it at the girl.
A raggedy young woman ran over to the little girl, fell to her knees, and cradled her in her arms. Something inside me just snapped and before I knew I was racing to the girls with my spear in hand.

End Chapter 3

Chapter 3 is good!

Wow. Myths, Legends from around the world and even the Bible. All in one Story... Awesome.

Again, no typos and no flaws. Really, don't deny it. You're really a famous writer that secretly likes hentai and you posted this here cause publishers won't accept the story and you're just using the whole 'school writing' thing to cover your tracks, right?

Lol^^

That's a joke! Anyways, it's awesome that you're love in writing has come to bear fruit. Keep up the good WorkZ^^

Haha, thank so much! ^^

I don't even know if I could write this good anymore. I think my brain has shrunk a little due to lack of reading and educating myself. Dx

I do love hentai though. xD Maybe I should add a nice little sex scene in here just for you guys. Hehe~

i loved the story so far....my compliments

wow you amaze me more everyday my compliments to the chef of this fine peice of work.

Thanks so much! :)

no thank you milady.

feeling lotr ish right now might be talking like that for awhile.

I know. I've been watching the movies because I am trying to get motivated to write more of this story.

THIS TASK WAS APPOINTED TO YOU AND IF YOU DO NOT FIND A WAY NO ONE WILL