The Professional Boyfriend

FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind

This is one of the projects I'm doing that are dedicated to Fakku! I plan on turning this story into a Visual Novel. It would be great if I could get some constructive criticism. If you pitch me an idea, then I will take it into consideration. Thanks in advance.

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Title: The Professional Boyfriend | Genre: Vanilla | Fetish: Anal, Blowjob, Bondage, Foreplay, Group, Harem, Oppai, Yuri... | Studio: None | Media type: VN | Endings: Normal, Good, Bad & True

Synopsis

Spoiler:

A young woman (We'll just call her FMC, which is short for female main character) is fed up with all the female students swooning over the most popular boy in high school (Whom will be referred to as MMC.). The MMC seems to have everything going for him (good looks, brains, athletic, social). However, none of this impresses the FMC. In fact, she kind of hates him. This attitude ends up alienating her from her peers. There is one thing that the two have in common: They're not interested in romantic relationships.

The FMC had a traumatic experience back in middle school, so ever since then she shut herself off from getting involved with boys. She has one true friend who shares her sentiments, but thats because she's an open lesbian (who is secretly in love with the FMC). The MMC has turned down every girl that confesses to him. This gave him the nickname "The untouchable prince". The two MCs' paths hardly ever cross, so no conflicts have started between the two.

They go about their business ignoring each other. That is until, the FMC spots the MMC walking with an unknown girl in town one day. This shocks her since she thought he wasn't interested in girls (She even had suspicions that he might be gay.). Out of curiosity, she follows the MMC and his supposed date. The get together seems like any other, but things get hot when they start having sex in a public park.

The FMC was baffled, yet at the same time turned on (to her own surprise). The date leaves on her own which makes the FMC wonder why the MMC didn't walk her home. That's when she notices that the MMC is talking to someone on his cell. A few minutes later, another woman shows up, and the process is repeated. By the end of the day, the MMC has had a rendezvous with 5 different women. By this point the FMC goes from shocked and horny, to disgusted and infuriated. She angrily confronts the MMC and threatens to spill the beans about his secret life as a gigolo. The MMC reassures her that he is not a gigolo. He describes himself as a "Professional Boyfriend". He points out four conditions in regard to his secret profession: A) He doesn't charge for his services cool.gif He only targets the women who are heartbroken C) Only date women outside of school D) The relationship must never turn serious (or personal).

The FMC's attitude changes a little, but she's still skeptical about the whole "Professional Boyfriend" concept. The MMC suggests that she continues to watch him at work and draw her own conclusions from there. He also counter-threats to show a picture of her masturbating (During one of the sex scenes) if she ever tells anyone about his secret lifestyle. Before she knew it, the FMC had already fallen into the MMC's pace. The FMC decides to take him up on his proposal, so she continues to follow him during his professional dates. Only this time, she uses her skills in video journalism to record the events that take place.

Eventually she takes it a step further and interview the women that are involved with the MMC. After getting to know them and listening to their stories, the FMC develops a new found admiration for the MMC. She realizes that his aim is to inspire these women to believe in love again. At school they seem closer than they've ever been. Students begin to suspect that they might be dating (which of course stirs up controversy among the fangirls and the FMC's best friend).

The more time the FMC spends with the MMC, the more she begins to see him as a romantic interest. The video journals start to become painful due to her rising jealousy. She wants to be one of those women he embraces, except she wants to be the only one he looks at. Unfortunately, she's reminded that the MMC has no interest in a "real" relationship. Will the FMC be the one to break down the MMC's barrier and inspire him to give love a shot? Can the FMC overcome her own insecurities and take the first step to true happiness?

Cast:

Feena (FMC)
Jin (MMC)
Asuka (Feena's best friend)

Personality/Traits:

Spoiler:

Script: 1st chapter rough draft; incomplete

This is all I got for now. If you want to officially give me helpful advice, then I will pm you the details on the endings and point system.

Gambler

13 years ago

I see you have put quite a bit of effort into this thread.

Although it may not have the most original storyline (or so I think), I like how you first used the sex scenes to develop the aspect of romance. I am not an expert in visual novels, but I believe most of them begin with romance, followed by sex. Bucking the trend could bring about surprisingly good results.

FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind

13 years ago

Gambler wrote...

Thank you for the feedback. It was my intention to make the sex scenes come in early, but they're going to be present throughout the novel. I'm still working on the first chapter, but its pretty fun since I'm coming up a lot of ideas and twists. I've only read three VNs (Fate/Stay Night is the only one I remember by name), so my knowledge on the trends are limited. I plan on using a program called Blade to develop this (and future) VNs.

NeoStriker

13 years ago

I like it, but how does he get other people to believe in love again when he himself doesn't love?

Quadratic

13 years ago

Umm... the immediate problem I had is that it jumps right to the story right away. There's no scenes giving a backstory, so if you don't read the synopsis, it's hard to understand anything.

Other than, it seems fine to me, but somewhat generic.

FinalBoss #levelupyourgrind

13 years ago

NeoStriker wrote...

I like it, but how does he get other people to believe in love again when he himself doesn't love?

You'll know once the VN is complete and you play it. Although, by the time I finish it (if I do finish it) you'd probably have already lost interest.

Quadratic wrote...

Umm...the immediate problem I had is that it jumps right to the story right away. There's no scenes giving a backstory, so if you don't read the synopsis, it's hard to understand anything.

Other than, it seems fine to me, but somewhat generic.

For now its just a rough draft, nothing in the script is final. I'm just trying to decide whether I want a fist person or third person narrator for the back story. I'll probably choose third person since I don't really want Feena's thought process to be known.

Note: The script has been updated.

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