This World
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Yeah... I wrote this some months ago and decided I should post it somewhere, just for the heck of it. Do tell me what you think of it, even if it is a bit misanthropic. Oh, you'll have to excuse me for the title of the topic, as I couldn't come up with anything better. (Yeah, on repeat from Divine Intervention xD)
Spoiler:
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It expresses the idea nicely, though the repeats feel like they take up a lot of space for its shortness.
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Hmmm... yeah, I've been thinking about that. It's supposed to be written like a songtext, lyrics ya know? Do you think I should take away one of the "Take me away" parts?
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Xenon
FAKKU Writer
This is very lyrical, as I could see it being the words to a death metal song. Not bad, if a bit melancholy like your first.