[V-day] - Lasting Memory
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Well...it doesn't feel quite right. A no more than 30 second meeting (not even a meeting, more like staring) can get you so worked up all your life? I'd say I do have moments like this, but the memory doesn't last more than a day. And I'm guessing they met again later according the last stanza, but I think you didn't tell us that. For the last stanza,
"And I do hope this sweet memory.
Will last forever for you and for me."
I don't see where "this sweet memory" is. Both of them are supposed to be involved in this "sweet memory", but your poem was only talking about YOUR memory. I don't see where she came in.
All in all, I think this poem has promise. And I like how you use the words, because I don't know if I'm able to do it.
"And I do hope this sweet memory.
Will last forever for you and for me."
I don't see where "this sweet memory" is. Both of them are supposed to be involved in this "sweet memory", but your poem was only talking about YOUR memory. I don't see where she came in.
All in all, I think this poem has promise. And I like how you use the words, because I don't know if I'm able to do it.