[Valentines Contest Entry 2017] Poem for my love
3
Hi there,
First time poster here.
Since the rules said that poetry is also welcome, I would like to submit my poem. It's called: Poem for my love
Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy it.
First time poster here.
Since the rules said that poetry is also welcome, I would like to submit my poem. It's called: Poem for my love
Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy it.
Spoiler:
1
This could have benefited from at least one more edit. Some errors in there.
I usually find poetry difficult to give feedback on. It's very open and subjective. For me personally, this poem does little to catch my attention. It feels very by-the-book for a love poem if that makes sense.
I usually find poetry difficult to give feedback on. It's very open and subjective. For me personally, this poem does little to catch my attention. It feels very by-the-book for a love poem if that makes sense.
1
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
This could have benefited from at least one more edit. Some errors in there.I usually find poetry difficult to give feedback on. It's very open and subjective. For me personally, this poem does little to catch my attention. It feels very by-the-book for a love poem if that makes sense.
Yes, it kind of makes sense. I'm using the same metaphors other poems have used. So it doesn't really stand out.
Thanks for your feedback though! I appreciate that though.
1
leonard267
FAKKU Non-Writer
A poem for my love
.
While I have to say that I don't appreciate poems as much as prose, I still believe that like prose, poems ought to convey stories or events. In addition to telling readers how intense your love is, why not include why you ended up in love? That would certainly require some storytelling. If you are able to make sure that each line rhymes then all the better.
The poem feels like one of the better pop songs to me but that isn't saying much because I consider most pop songs in the West to be horribly written these days. If only we can put a tune to this though.
I think d has pointed out some of the grammatical errors like "thiefs" ought to be spelt as thieves. I will go through the poem and spell my thoughts on this:
.
While I have to say that I don't appreciate poems as much as prose, I still believe that like prose, poems ought to convey stories or events. In addition to telling readers how intense your love is, why not include why you ended up in love? That would certainly require some storytelling. If you are able to make sure that each line rhymes then all the better.
The poem feels like one of the better pop songs to me but that isn't saying much because I consider most pop songs in the West to be horribly written these days. If only we can put a tune to this though.
I think d has pointed out some of the grammatical errors like "thiefs" ought to be spelt as thieves. I will go through the poem and spell my thoughts on this:
Spoiler: