Why in Fakku!
0
[Don't read this poem as if the line matters. Read it continuously. This is a prose poem. Don't stop because the line ends. Read it as you normally would.]
Every body's been
saying,
"Get the rhythm right."
"Have some bit of structure."
And
"Have some rhyme."
But I dunno why
In Fakku!
I should.
It's a place where norms are
suspended afterall.
Fakku! don't need poetic rules.
It needs more rule destruction.
It's a place where perverts gather.
I can't be the moral pillar
to this disgusting website.
I can only be what I can
A pervert who knows how to use
American English
and press "enter,"
and capable of
using the keyboard.
I don't know why in Fakku!
should we have this damned rules.
We're in a secretive website
where perverts crawl and peek.
I don't know why in Fakku!
indeed.
My hands are starting to get numb.
But I still try to think
why in Fakku! should I uphold some kind of rule.
This is a place where perverts camp.
There's no need for some moral lamp.
We've given up on the chance of ever being normal.
Why ever should we could ever have a moral value in Fakku!
Why in Fakku! should we consider morality.
In this website I jump to
become a beast again.
No deontological inference for me.
Only the carnal.
That's why I am in Fakku!
to feel what beasts with crotches feel.
Every body's been
saying,
"Get the rhythm right."
"Have some bit of structure."
And
"Have some rhyme."
But I dunno why
In Fakku!
I should.
It's a place where norms are
suspended afterall.
Fakku! don't need poetic rules.
It needs more rule destruction.
It's a place where perverts gather.
I can't be the moral pillar
to this disgusting website.
I can only be what I can
A pervert who knows how to use
American English
and press "enter,"
and capable of
using the keyboard.
I don't know why in Fakku!
should we have this damned rules.
We're in a secretive website
where perverts crawl and peek.
I don't know why in Fakku!
indeed.
My hands are starting to get numb.
But I still try to think
why in Fakku! should I uphold some kind of rule.
This is a place where perverts camp.
There's no need for some moral lamp.
We've given up on the chance of ever being normal.
Why ever should we could ever have a moral value in Fakku!
Why in Fakku! should we consider morality.
In this website I jump to
become a beast again.
No deontological inference for me.
Only the carnal.
That's why I am in Fakku!
to feel what beasts with crotches feel.
0
4/10
Prose poetry where you don't pay attention to the lines, have rhyme, or have any structure at all is just prose. Even as prose, I found this lazily written.
The ideas and themes are, as in your other "poem", interesting and thought provoking, but the lack of execution spoils it for me.
Also:
Prose poetry where you don't pay attention to the lines, have rhyme, or have any structure at all is just prose. Even as prose, I found this lazily written.
The ideas and themes are, as in your other "poem", interesting and thought provoking, but the lack of execution spoils it for me.
Also:
Grover wrote...
3. Spelling and Grammar. This is for your own benefit. This is the writing section after all. A few typos in a story are completely understandable, but when you post a story that is almost incomprehensible, it lowers the chance that someone will give you serious feedback, since they may be stuck on the pile of small mistakes you made. Either that, or the replies you get might be just reviewing your grammar instead of your story. (NOTE TO NON ENGLISH NATIVE SPEAKERS: If getting feedback on your grammar is something you want, to improve your english, then keep on keeping on, Ignore this point. I would not want to discourage any of you who don't speak perfect english)
0
Well in my view this poem is preety something. The ideea is unique soo as you're last poem. I would suggest writhing on a different ideea. If you are making a poem you should at least keep an averange line (neither do i have rhyme).
Lastly i continuing to Mr. Cleaveland said your ideeas were sponatiously writhen on paper in their rough shape, i would suggest to your next poem to make an skeleton and by that add the words(if you want to ignore what i said earlier ) :)
Looking forward for more
Lastly i continuing to Mr. Cleaveland said your ideeas were sponatiously writhen on paper in their rough shape, i would suggest to your next poem to make an skeleton and by that add the words(if you want to ignore what i said earlier ) :)
Looking forward for more