[Winter Contest Entry 2013] Moving On

at first this was two separate chapters of my scribble notes, originally belonging to the unreleased chapters from the story 'Scenery of Tranquil Places' which wasn't really a story at all. combined into one and added the last parts for the contest to make the entire disjointed writeups connect somehow.

that's probably why you felt kinda lost. I think as why you haven't read anything like this was yeah, I think it's kind of similar to diary entries and I'm merely putting another take by changing the narrative settings, using lots of abstract metaphors to fully convey the feelings. also, let myself fully free by letting go of all sense and even the entirety of the plot, it all soon blurred out and all that's left was the monologues.

in the past where I wrote the actual chapters, I'm just trying to experiment using a type of narrative I kind of thought up, that can somehow contain the pent-up feelings of mine and will probably use it as a comfortable medium of self-expression. there are ups and downs in the story, but since there's nobody around to read and give a comment about it at that time, I just merely going around with what I think may be best.

so yeah, after going through lots of ups and downs in life with many additional adversaries I came up with, I somehow wrote this on a whim using the same narrative style which was kind of alien to me too, never really got into something like this, so I just kinda do it my usual since it's merely just for myself.

with the dawn of this contest and I have nothing I could really think of to write, I merely done the copy pasta thingy and somehow connect these separate chapters as I know it has something related to the themes. I decided to take the risk. knowing there's haven't been anybody yet around to give their feedbacks at that time, and knowing that it might be hit and miss, accepting the worst just like that.

probably in this contest, I've thought lot more important things than winning. dunno what, but I just want to find my answer by submitting this instead. as time drew closer, it becomes even clearer about what I want to seek and I somehow glad that I had taken this choice after all.

a simple thing that was very important, but it couldn't really be surmised into words, but in the end it left me with a pleasant experience at the end of the year and especially nowadays.

about the story itself, to put it simply, I think the key lies in the title. it's probably more like my own contemplation about the bitterness that happened in my past, that I'm not living the life I wanted it to be, and how I wanted to move on to something which was truly important. cherishing things I had, and hopefully I will just let go the things that binds me in the past, making my own life truly my own, not just being a puppet of circumstances where lowly desires and emotions blindly leads me.

so I could finally be free, to live happily within my own peace and tranquility as the eternity persists - just my own foolish hope.

I don't know how the story could be interpreted, since there are many ways to interpret the story according to the reader. but that's probably the message I want to come across.

It was another day, another walk yeah. Another way to go on and on until the day ends and we had to start over again. (Fragment.) A full circle yeah, it was a full cycle. Because (I wouldn’t begin a sentence with †˜because’ even for artistic reasons. You might as well just nix it and it will still sound artistic.) where we begin was where we end. Nothing of value was lost – all of it was carried over by the weight of our own memory. Nonetheless, the days carried on and we lived as we were – we all as we were – the times we lived through – none of them utmostly futile. (I love these sentences.) I could still felt the frozen glaze as the heat escaped the thermostat. Frozen cold a walk down the sidewalk, the boots trampling over the snowy grounds, the cold wind blew affront as we trailed.

My times of solace dawning near; still I couldn't feel the warmth from the heat carried on. What was affront, was just my own fears shading, calling out to me relentlessly. I want to shelter my doubts and step out towards the light of certainty and hope, where the shades of things I held dear would be illuminated in such invigorating light. It was some kind of light which alleviates each kind of my self-doubts, that I was finally able to take the utmost step forward, towards the new dimension, across the valley of the unknown. (Love these sentences too.) Still, was I finally able to take such a brave move, regardless of things happening as they were?

I didn't know, and I didn't want to think about it either. I just want to live as I am, living the days peacefully as I see fit. For me, the days came by with the resolve to accept everything as it were, no need to strive for utmost perfection within every single moment. My days fluttered and floundered; time flows by so fast, such fleeting motion it eventually escaped my notice. Was I really enjoying the times that went by? Or was it just another excuse for me to live on, to spend the lonely days, wallowing in my own depression and fruitless labor? Would it be altogether fruitless once again, the day I decided to make a change, to step outside and claim my own right?

There was no sound out there, brimming silence rummages across the empty street as the snowy grounds etched the mark of my footsteps. It traced the shape of my boots as I walked down the empty roads – it was a quaint milestone to be seen as I traced back the footsteps from whence I came from. A long road beyond, sure I walked, and the count of time had reached a significant point, where it was appropriate to reminisce about the good old days. Times where it's a commonwealth to laugh alongside friends so comrades, with the warming hand of family members on my lap so my shoulders put. All was right, and all was adorned in warmth as I sat down nearby the hearth.

We drank together; we sang; we danced; everything was alright. It was by then I decided that I should be up for something much more, that I began to distance myself away from them. Bridging up the cold distance across, diverging out between countries, cities and places., I ventured towards a certain place where nobody knows the old me. That way, I could start anew, discovering another me I had not known of, and I would like to know very much., Tthe me that had been shrouded by the presence of other people, the me that was waiting to break out, the me that had always been all alone, wanting to break free from the mask I had always been wearing. (Beautiful.)

So yeah, I just tried this walk, moving from one lonely place to another – finding my own solace. It was, my times of solace. I kept walking, but eventually stopped at certain places to rest my body, and to redeem myself from all the burden I had been going through. To re-energize my mental health, and to keep myself sane with the hospitality the places brought me. – iIt was heavenly at times – most of times. You know, (Addressing the reader specifically can be dangerous, but it’s still acceptable.) thoseat kind of times where your feet flutter and flounder as the hot water from the bathtub revitalizes your energy.

I still remembered that time I revitalized myself down at the indoor hot springs, it was magical. Yeah, iIt was during winter time, but it was warm enough inside, just like being in another world.: So comfy, so enticing. Guess it was such a shame I only stayed for one week straight. Next time I willould think about staying at that place until the spring comes. To spend the times of Christmas and New Years, going through the shrine visit nearby, receiving the cards and envelopes from all over.
(Merge paragraphs, the subject matter is the same.)
Staring at the first bloom of flower petals from cherry blossom trees, waking up early to feel the scent of morning sun, and as I sent my eyes toward the sky, the sun would meet my glance and its bright, luminescent smile would rise me up every time I'm down. Guess that's how you name it – heavenly blossom.

Was there any apparent reason why I was so spellbound to this scenery? Certain places, so certain times., Wwho are you to interpret it accordingly? After all, it was just a tranquil scenery. (Either †˜a tranquil scene’ or †˜tranquil scenery.’)

It was the scenery of tranquil places.



My souls flutters; my bodyies flew. (The plural just may be intentional, but I can’t see why if it is.) I was completely at ease with things around me. Those I could not change and would not respond by immediate change to my will, I could just pretend of those things as non-existingent. As I would just reach out towards things I wanted, completely set my mind focused on what was in front of me. On towards the descentd of time, protruding onto the peak of humanity, where I would stand against the entire world smiling. I was the climber, and with my hands and feet I would try aiming for the heavens.

Reaching down towards the open road. (Fragment.) Wide open, everywhere in sight just like a playground. (Fragment.) Going through the mountains, over the valleys high and wide, low so crumble. (Fragment, and †˜low so crumble?’ I don't understand what this means.) Ups and downs we walked side-by-side, tenderly holding hands – afraid of letting go.

No sooner I thought we both were kindred souls, heading towards the same goal. As if there was nothing to stop us on our path – as if there's no mountain high enough – ain't no valley's too steep to climb – nothing near, and nowhere far – all of us would be back right there. Not towards that bridging line when things divided between heaven and hell, it's just the place where it would be rightfully ours.

Places to call home, it was that place of tranquil scenery., Wwhere we would be the master of our own day, the journeyman of our souls, drifting away, and drifting about further, until it crossed the boundary of infinity. Might we travel back infinite distances away until we've had eventually reach the origin of ourselves? There was the origin, there was the dying womb, wanting to break itself free, as we wanted to break ourselves free from the cage. Towards the new world, it shall be – it was brand new – altogether omnipresent.

There wereas always times where I breathe the air around – otherwise I'd be dead. There wereas times where I realized, I was breathing, or maybe not. I probably was rather preoccupied with other things to even realize my own breath. Times passed by – I finally learned how to be conscious of my own breathing, nonetheless, at certain moments where I was alone, mostly inside a tranquil scenery.

Where the flow of air so vibrant, so full of life. (Fragment.) Where it was such a pleasant wafting sensation to inhale bits by bits of it. (Fragment.) There was the resurgence of ethereal energy floating about the skies, and as I witnessed it from afar, there goes the aftermath of my wishes – of control, of wisdom, of power. (A mystical sentence.)

Bringing the destiny back within the blink of an eye, discarding the rest as the walk went by. It was by the passing of time when things desired would be discarded, and things needed would be attained by athe flick of a finger. There could be a lifetime's worth spent for enjoying things available. From every pore of the skin, from every glint of air, the scent, the taste, the visage, so the murmurs. (†˜So the murmurs?’ I don't understand what this means either.)

Each and every part of it brought me along, guiding me through. There was no way other than to keep on moving forth. There was a journey, of wanting to break free. There would be many wishes for us to fly. To our freedom, where the flowers bloom, everything's cheerful, all things tranquil. Life's a bed of roses, just without the thorns. It's like the sun's shining, with undulating warmth, just without the painful sunburst heat. There was light all over, the lights of heaven, just without the judgment.

Things extending towards infinity, yielding every minuscule details so poignant. Like the infinite droplets of diamonds showering through the life, uncountable special moments, far above what one can hold, with the satisfied smiles beckoning through all the eternity passing.

It was the mind which seemingly tore everything apart, every blockades on the way. Throughout the path seemingly threaded, there wereas various obstacles, seemingly never ending. Thus the mind exerted the infinitesimal scale of its powers, rendering the boundless blocks around the way somehow impassable, and for the recurring repercussion of time stood still, there shall be nothing out of possibility, as long the mind conceives it.

Virtually, everything could happen, ranging from the insane goodness towards insane worst. (If these are intended to be opposites, it doesn’t work how you like, since goodness does not represent a polar peak. You may consider †˜best’ instead of †˜goodness’ or †˜evil’ instead of †˜worst.’) This life might be a filter, with its time signals continuum for us to divert the path once in a while, when we're feeling like it. Guess that won't happen anymore, the moment I got there, the moment I've had finally set foot upon this path, onto this ground nobody had trodden – a special path for me alone to tread. Maybe it was lonely yeah, but who cares anyway.? I was walking the only path with lights on the other side, a guiding light, so bright and calm, the illumination.

Treading again, mercilessly down the path filled with blocks, there would always be the light, guiding me through until I've had reached my goal. At other paths, I only find uncertainty, infinite darkness spanning endlessly, there would be no way out, there would be no goals ever, nothing to be fulfilled, nothing could be done. Everything yields to be a futility, no such thing as things satisfactory. Been there done that, it was one kind of resolve which drove me away from that path, onto the only one with glimmering light.

At times, my heart was cloudy, my mind blank. The light flickered out and there's only darkness ahead. I made my heart shine and my mind preoccupied by doing ridiculous stuff - it works wonders. At least, the path would always be there, it's just waiting for me to continue walking across it, and finally through it. Now, what to do, if in any case, the other side was finally there?

Either way, I will do my best, mercilessly treading on across the path, what awaits will be an entirely different story.

I've gotta to keep moving on, within this cold until the end of winter so the springs will come forth and bloom away.