d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
Being able to get people to feel what you want to is an important skill to have, but at the same time, it's possible to control everyone's feelings. There's always going to be someone who interprets something differently, and I think that's perfectly alright because not everyone is going to be impacted in the same way by the same story.
For sure, I definitely love hearing different interpretations, and I tried writing it in a way hoping for that. Although it can be disappointing when little things are missed, so I guess I need to highlight them a bit better. But I don't like having to write with everything laid out. With most literature I've studied you really have to dig for significance, and it can also be fun interpreting significance in your own way. It's obviously important to remember that nothing in a text is an accident; everything is deliberate, and I tried to make sure I showed that.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
Having said that, my initial thought on the second draft of the ending was essentially the same as Xenon's, and if you are absolutely averse to it, and you don't want people to get that out of your story, then yeah, I think it needs changes, which you do in the latest draft. I think it does a much better job of conveying what you want it to.
I also like how you bring back that thing from the beginning of the story where the villagers think the path between villages will vanish.
I like it better than the original ending, but I do have some issues with it, like the succubus wearing a shirt. She didn't care much about wearing clothes before. Why would she decide to put a shirt on now?
Thanks!
As for the shirt, that was more a thing for the alternate ending but I'd like to work it into the main story better. It's something I don't think I will remove. It's also something I don't think I will detail in an explanation but leave it up to other people to interpret/find significance as they wish. If they don't have any then that's fine, it can be dismissed. I will say though that it's a man's shirt in the boy's house, so it's clearly hinted as being the father's, or even another soldier's. Depending on how it's read there is a reason it's there and significance in her wearing it.
I don't know if you've read anything by Angela Carter or not, but when writing this story I realised it felt like something out of it her book of short stories "The Bloody Chamber". There is a story in there called The Snow Child where something like this happens in which the furs the Countess is wearing are put onto the naked girl. There is significance in it, and I have the same intentions. Again, everything is there for a reason.
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
You still have that strange thing going on where it could be a time jump, but it might not be. If you're cool with that, leave it in by all means, but I still don't like it.
Getting more technical, you end the first paragraph with him taking her by the hand, and you begin the second paragraph by pointing out that he's holding her hand. That's a bit redundant.
Do you mean the part where it says "It had already been years the man thought..."? I think how I feel about that now is that years have passed since he has been with the girl, and the pronoun changed because that was the day he had become of age. I don't think the other wider interpretation I explained before works any more due to some changes, so think of it as a time leap not having happened in the sentence. Instead, it was just because he became of age that day.
I cleared up the repetition, I didn't realise I had done that so thanks for the spot!
d(^_^)(^_^)d wrote...
At the bottom of the page, there's a feint pink bar with edit and delete options on the left. Hit edit, and you can change the thread title from there.
Thanks, I think I had forgotten about that.