Damn, what a guy. He may not be very tactful, what with him straight up asking about her panties, but he still steps up in her time of need and came over to save her from being raped. Much respect.
And hey, despite her still calling him a creep, you can clearly see she was extremely relieved and I think she came to kind of like him. Especially considering that ending where she specifically chose to go without underwear when she went to visit him, so...She's clearly expecting something to happen, right?
36 pages is way too long for this story. There was nothing actually bad about it, but it lacked focus. The three girls in the beginning have pretty much nothing to do with the story even though they're given the main spot on the first page. It's like this is a chapter 4 in a story with nothing previous published.
There was a lack of focus. There were scene transitions that were rather jarring as well. What happened to the other thugs? The after school orgy escalated in such a sudden way. I agree about the girls who were flashing at the beginning.<br>
<br>
The art was good, but the pacing was off.<br>
<br>
I am interested to see future work by this artist.
I also agree. It's almost like there are pages missing The scene between him kicking the punk was not followed up by anything that made sense. Where did they other bullies go? Did they just vanish into thin air?
I'm also not pleased by the complete bait-and-switch with none of the girls on the cover making an appearance.
I'm frankly surprised that any of these issues were not fixed by the editor. Did this even GET edited? I seriously doubt that it was.
I was considering the suggestion that "the names of persons in this story have been changed to protect the innocent" ... but then, is anyone in this story truly innocent? 😯😯😯
No matter ... it was IN-teresting enough that this debut is APPROVED! ðŸ‘
P.S.: whatever happened to the supposed culprit who stole the underwear in the first place ... or is that a tale yet to be told? 🤔