Yeah I honestly don't see why that other guy was even there. Also the main male character barely said anything to the female lead so she's just making up her own responses for him in order to continue her own agenda.
yeah. At first I was really pissed that the other guy's taking advantage of the situation, then I felt a bit glad he was ignored. But after reading the whole thing I felt confused... Almost sounded like it was a regular thing for him to jump in and out when other people are having sex...
I mean, the girl was pretty intense and I loved it, but the whole thing is giving me mixed feels.
Well, I mean, not really sure how I'd respond if a girl jumped me then seemed to be fine with another random guy joining in because she didn't want to go somewhere else. Makes it really hard to take her seriously when she's that casual right in front of you.
I kind of like how weird it is with the third guy. I think it's just because of how casual it kind of all was, even though it was such a bizarre inclusion.
Arakure... okay, look. I don't kink shame, and I won't start now. The issue I have with this isn't the acts depicted. But this artist continues to have the same problem across multiple releases, whether doing fantasy orc mind break, NTR, or what have you. It comes down to a cliché but very true idea: trying to get ten pounds.of something in a five pound bag. They constantly try and get that extra sixth pound of one aspect of the story— be it plot, kink, what have you— when the story is full. And sometimes, it's good enough you shrug and go along. And others, like here, it stands out so much you can't help comment. But it's rarely graceful or smooth.
Yeah, even porn can be subject to a little critical analysis. Even if it's wankable/ fappable, it can feel off.
Just going thru Arakure's earlier works published here at Fakku!, it seems this artist is just focused on shock value and not organizing the elements of the stories and making it remotely logical. Even smut can be written where there's rationale storyline. First, the main male characters in the artist's stories I've read so far all border on mental retardation (don't mean any offense to the actual mentally handicapped). I mean, kick the bitch out of your room yourself or get a RA to do it.- it's not hard. It's virtually implausible to take how the situation progressed seriously, being the guy in this story made it to college. And doing it in his room, where anyone can walk in and surprise them, not just the goof who ended up doing it anyway? Even the cheating/NTR category deserves better. I could only get off on something like this if I totally ignore the dialog. Edit: More poor grammar and clarity corrections. smh
No one believes in hentai critical analysis more than I do, and this
chapter definitely leaves something to be desired. Its parts don't
mesh together well. Here is how I would change things:
The three characters belong to the same college club, but Maeda
hasn't been participating. In the story as written, Yuki ambushes
Maeda in his room, but in my version, Maeda finally visits the club-
room, where Yuki is delighted to meet him. She reveals the club is
actually a secret sex group, and then proceeds to seduce Maeda.
Given that premise, it makes more sense when Tatsu strolls in and
starts fucking Yuki from behind while she's sucking Maeda. That's
what the club is all about! Yuki is annoyed only because she wants
to be alone with Maeda.
Once you change the dialogue a bit, you have a logical, satisfying
hentai chapter, and it didn't require any major changes.
Well, a confession can come just about anytime, be it before, during, or after sex.
Still, letting the other guy have sex with her just to 'break' their relationship, only to turn around and still have sex with him while saying you really like him?
...Er, Well, I'm not sure how to react, really. Main guy has a girlfriend too, and he just watched her have sex in front of him while kissing her...I guess if they're all okay with what just happened, then it's fine?
Last Modified Fri Jan 20, 2017, 11:08 am
I mean, the girl was pretty intense and I loved it, but the whole thing is giving me mixed feels.